To think people who say “money doesn’t buy happiness” have never had real money?

[EdgyRobin]

Poor people romanticising struggle is weird.

But the things you describe as making you happy, way back all show that you were in a relatively comfortable position. Maybe not where you are now but you weren't "making it home" if you were living hand to mouth and wondering how you'd pay the electricity.

This is what I mean. A lot of people don’t have any/most/some of the even most basic of those things.

The narrative always goes to mansions and millions , when the vast majority of people don’t want or even aspire to that.

I don't think romanticising struggle is a bad thing, as long as you have something to show for it at the end. Struggling can be a catalyst for growth and change.

Saying that, some of the most miserable people I've ever known have been obscenely wealthy.

Money can make things a hell of a lot easier though, as long as you're sensible with it. I don't believe it can buy happiness, but it can certainly alleviate sadness.

Barring anything unforseeable, I'm going to have a healthy pension. If I were to lose my job tomorrow, I'd be fine for a long time without income. If my partner and I separated, we'd both be secure. If one of us gets sick, we have private health insurance.

It's even the little things. If I have a bad week at work, I can buy myself something at the weekend to cheer myself up. If we're stressed out, we can pack a bag and go on holiday.

The alternative - and I've been there - is to have any/all of those problems while also worrying where next months rent is coming from or how to put food on the table.

I'm not living in poverty but have a pretty standard adult life albeit with a severe anxiety disorder.

Which would be reduced by 98% if I was rich.

Wouldn't have to worry about work. Or fighting for reasonable adjustments at work. Or housing. Or money. Or ageing parents. Or socialising. Or travel. Or how I'll cope when parents die and I have to sort out everything. Or my own housing and financial future. Or most things.

I'd feel safe and secure in the knowledge that I can financially support myself and my parents forever and I can pay people to take away all practical stressors.

I wouldn't just be happy, I'd be over the fucking moon.

I don't think it's that. People have said similar things for millenia. "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also" etc.

I think once your necessities are covered a lot of people get easily trapped in the rat race /pursuit of money and don't think about what truly makes them happy. I also think vast riches can isolate you. How would you know if that guy really liked you or was a gold digger?

If you could afford to outsource everything, I think it would rob you of many joys. I like gardening, baking, looking after my kids, making clothes, even cleaning is sometimes satisfying. I've done some construction and that was really satisfying. I think that in the west if everything becomes AI / automated / outsourced it would lead to a huge lack of purpose and wellbeing.

I also think many platitudes like this contain truth but not in all circumstances.

Like, absence makes the heart grow fonder vs out of sight, out of mind. Both can be true but not in all scenarios.

Agreed. Ppl who say this do my head in. They clearly haven’t been really struggling. Yes it might not make u extremely happy to not ever have to worry if you have enough to cover the bills, buy food and nappies, even to know in an emergency u either have savings to cover it or could get credit. The pressure that would relieve would instantly make you a less stressed and happier person

I am not poor but nonetheless most (not all) of the things I worry about would be solved by a bit more money.

I assume that the people who say this have never been poor.

If you have say 1 million in the bank, you may not feel happier with 2 million in the bank but if you have £1k in the bank, you’ll feel a lot happier with £100k in the bank. The first person gained more money but money has a bigger impact when you start off with less. It doesn’t solve all problems but it brings choices to make your life better, easier and happier.

I do t think money makes you happy, I think it makes you less stressed. I’m always stressed about a big thing happening that will cost money I don’t have. To have that taken away would be amazing.

I think this is maybe a narrow view of what happiness looks like - obviously with more money there is a better chance someone's basic needs are being met in terms of secure accommodation, healthy good food, access to appropriately timed medical care which can often be a source of stress for people who are less well off. But I don't think that is enough to just translate to happiness. You can be wealthy and have other external stressors - maybe your friends are only interested in your money and you feel very lonely, maybe you're depressed or struggling with a mental health condition or addiction, maybe you're grieving a loss - money can't just make those issues go away by themselves - I think mental resilience and strong and healthy coping skills are more beneficial in those situations. I do think there are people who are glass half full because they have a resilient nature and are more likely to focus on the positives in life and that's not related to income.

It doesn’t protect you from illness or tragedy. It does make things easier though.
I had a horrific teen years. The other girls who suffered with me, at least one dead and another stuck in it for life. Through marriage and kids. I came from a family who were middle class. They came from poverty. I was able to finish my education and get a degree and decent jobs while my children were young.
I also married a man who has built a decent career and is now a high earner. So I don’t have to work anymore and I can have expensive therapy and heal. We have land and animals. Our life isn’t always easy but it is certainly easier than it might have been if I’d not had money. I am very fortunate and often struggle with it, I suppose a survivors guilt.

Being rich has many advantages, would rather be rich than poor , but both happiness , sadness and bad health can find anyone regardless of money

It’s all in the framing.

Money is the problematic word in the sentence. Access to sufficient resources in the wider sense, not just money, do help.

Feeling that what one has is sufficient is important when it comes to happiness. Sufficient relates to Maslows hierarchy of needs.

I read posts on here from posters on high six figure salaries who are stressed and struggling, and people who live well on little.

This is normally used by the rich(er) to morally justify their greater wealth than the 'plebs' beneath them. Poor people aren't trying to 'justify' their poverty, quite the opposite...

I've said this before but I just don't get at all inspired by the suffering and struggles of other people. I'm very cynical about romanticising struggle.

Thing is, the Goldsmiths didn't have to go into work the next week.
Lots of people have jobs where you only get a few days bereavement leave, and then after that you could sign off sick, but you might only get SSP which won't cover your bills. So whilst bereaved families might be equally unhappy, some of them are still having to do whatever is necessary to pay the rent and feed everyone. I went into work the day after my father died, but I don't think I could if it was a child. What on earth do you do then? The stress added to the grief must add to the total sum of unhappiness.

Back in the 60s there was a television play based on a true story about a lady who won the football pools and she blew through it very quickly. She had struggled a lot with life before it happened and was struggling again afterwards. .it did showed that being very rich doesn't neccessarily make you happy.

That said, having enough money to meet your needs and enough left over for a few luxuries does help a lot in many ways. Being financially secure. Sometime those who say money doesn't buy you happiness have never really been without it to a severe degree. I remember a pastor once saying "if you have just one pound in your bank account right now you are richer than many in the developing world." I see what he was trying to do and it came from a good place, he is factually correct. But at the time I was thinking "what if you only have that pound and it's two weeks left until payday and you've run out of sufficient food or heating?" Because sometimes that does happen even in the UK.

I've never heard people who struggle for money say that money doesn't buy happiness. I've only heard it from people who are well off or at least financially comfortable and clearly don't realise how very miserable it is to not have money.

People often say it to mean "an excess of wealth won't make you happier" which is probably true at a certain point, but realistically struggling for money, worrying about bills or if you've got enough food to last until pay day is so stressful and miserable that no-one who has experienced it could say that more money would not have helped their mood.

Being really skint sucks the joy out of many things, because the first question is always 'can we afford it?' Then there's the constant nagging worry that car that is essential to get someone to work will dramatically fail its MOT, or that the boiler will up and die.

But I think beyond a certain point, it doesn't make much difference. Once you can live comfortably, do some fun things and save for a rainy day, increasing wealth doesn't make a big difference to your levels of happiness. I've known very wealthy people in good physical health with loving families be utterly miserable.

Better to sob your heart out in an Aston Martin than in a Toyota Corolla.

Maybe money doesn't buy happiness. But it would sure help alot & give me choices.

Elon Musk doesn’t seem very happy

Ime this is said by people of the previous generation or the well-supported who have financial safety nets - those who’ve never had to worry about how to pay the rent or where the next meal is coming from. Money buys security, comfort and opportunity. People who have struggled know its virtue.

Or Trump.