Husband failed interview for own job, panicking!

[UpsetAtInterview]

Name changed for this one. My husband has been on fixed term contracts for 4 years and interviews came up for permanent positions. He placed high in last years interviews and just missed out on a job, but the wait list ran out so there was a new round in interviews. He was in a pissy mood leading up to it, annoyed at having to re-interview again. He just found out he failed the interview. We're now facing a cliff edge financially as we can't get by on just my wage and his contract finishes in 6 weeks.

I'm so angry at him. I was the breadwinner until our first child turned two. Then he got this job and it was great, he doubled his salary just as the cost of living increase hit so we were okay. I worked so hard for years, I even did interviews heavily pregnant to get us in a good position financially and he's just thrown it all away because he couldn't get out of his own way and actually apply himself for a few days. He didn't take the prep seriously and was blindsided in the interview.

He's devastated, doesn't want to go back to work for last few weeks of his contract, doesn't want to complete his remaining projects. I am trying to comfort him and can see he's emotionally fragile but I just want to scream at him 'Why did you let us down? Why didn't you do the work to make sure your family is looked after?'. I wouldn't mind if he tried his best and it didn't work out, but he didn't. Am I unreasonable to be so angry? Should I tell him? Should I just try and help him get a new job first?

He now needs to seriously get over himself and sort this shit out. He needs to swallow his pride, get back to work and get to job hunting, hard. If you think he won't listen to you is there someone he would listen to who can shake him out of the self indulgent sulks asap?

You are not unreasonable to be angry about this. He’s been very complacent and foolish. He needs to get a grip on himself and work out what he’s going to do next. He has to finish his contract or it’ll look terrible and any references he needs won’t be good.

I think he should move jobs regardless. 4 years on fixed term contracts is ridiculous.
I don’t think it’s his fault he failed so I wouldn’t be mad at him.

You’re being awful and it’s unfair they even put him in this position.

His attitude before is crap, yes. Ultimately, he has failed twice to be made permanent - so he is not good enough. You both need to accept that.

Yes, he's being a bit of a wet blanket and you are 100% right to be annoyed. But, ultimately, Fixed Term Contracts are a risky business. You both (I presume) made the decision to make a gamble on the hopes it paid off. It hasn't. Now you both need to work together to figure out what comes next.

If he’s been there for 4 years continuously on FTC he very likely has the right to be made permanent regardless.

I was on a 0 hours contact for years. Finally a stable and permanent position became available and I interviewed and didn't get it. It went to someone younger with no experience. It was absolutely heartbreaking and terrible for my self esteem, at the same time as telling me I was unsuccessful, they asked me to work the following day.
I know its hard, but its so easy to think "I do this job everyday, how much do I need to prepare?"
I did interview prep for mine, but its still so hard.
Try and take it easy on him.

Four years of fixed term contracts should mean they have to give him a permanent contract, no?

I understand your anger but I'd be angrier at his employer

Will it be hard for him to find a job somewhere else?

Tell him to go on the other room and do the toddler temper tantrum and then when he comes out of that room he leaves the toddler behind and comes out as an adult ready to look at the issue at hand, ready to solve the problem.

Does he work in education?

Internal interviews are hideous. He needs to pick himself up and get registered with agencies etc. I wouldn’t be too hard on him. I’ve interviewed a few times in the last 2 years and a couple were on teams so dh heard it from the room next door. I did all the prep but they offered to different people each time. My feedback was always great with nothing to change just pipped but a close second (which doesn’t get me the job). It’s so hard not to fall into a dark place when faced with rejection. One I really wanted I was “over qualified for”… yes but I wanted to do the job so would have enjoyed it and found it low stress and within my abilities 🙄. Overall, interviews are hideous.

Ultimately, he has failed twice to be made permanent - so he is not good enough.

This is unfair. I'm in academia where this happens all the time, 90% of the people who don't get permanent ARE good enough, there's just not enough jobs

It does sound like he could have done more but i can understand his frustration too

I think it’s a system that gives him contracts for 4 years and wants him to repeatedly interview for his own job that is the issue. He may be an arse or may be struggling with the stress of the situation. He finished and gets a reference and hopefully gets another job quickly.

financial stress is horrid but there are two of you who come as a team. Life brings changes and challenges and points for evaluation - work on it together.

I think it's more that he's on an open ended contract but the fixed term funding has run out. So they can get rid of him but would have to pay redundancy. At least rhats how it worked with funded research posts where I worked.

https://www.gov.uk/fixed-term-contracts/renewing-or-ending-a-fixedterm-contract After four years he has the right to be treated as a permanent employee. I'd take legal advice. In the meantime he needs to get back to work.

They’re not good enough to get the jobs that do exist though. That doesn’t say anything about them as a human but it is a fact

The world of employment is shite! I've been "unemployed" for two weeks now, having lost a C-suite role.

It is awful for self esteem - so, blame the employer 100% and vent on them.

If employers were decent (like I believe they used to be) they wouldn't dangle folk on strings like this. Were there more internal "contractors" to pick from?

Anyone can have a bad day when trying to get through these hoops.

This 👆

I know someone who was on part time hours at work and had interviewed for full time hour post 4 times before being offered the job.

Not sure why because this person is amazing at their job, bends over backwards and always gives 100%.

Sometimes your face just doesn't fit .

I don't see why you are angry at your dh, he tried but didn't get it. There are other jobs, he needs to sort himself and get applying.

Your attitude is terrible.

Honestly, no. I've been in these hiring discussions. Five finalists for one job, we agree all of them could do the job well, so the final decision comes down to extremely marginal things. In no way are the others not good enough.

Completely agree with this. OP, you’re being very unreasonable.

Thanks everyone. It's civil service so I don't think that they have the same rules for fixed term contracts, that's why they have interviews and wait lists every year or so. It's not unusual for someone to be fixed term for years until permanent positions come up. The person who got 2nd on the list is in his team and this is their 6th interview for a permanent position.

He's never failed an interview before, he was 6th on them last wait list and they only filled 5 positions so I think he thought this interview was just a formality. It's really knocked his confidence and he doesn't think anyone will hire him at the same salary now.

Families are supposed to be a team. You each contribute what you can for the common good. Sometimes one of you needs extra support and the other has to carry them for a bit. But you do it because you love them, and you know when you need their support, they will be there for you.

The law very much applies to the civil service.