Husband failed interview for own job, panicking!

[UpsetAtInterview]

Name changed for this one. My husband has been on fixed term contracts for 4 years and interviews came up for permanent positions. He placed high in last years interviews and just missed out on a job, but the wait list ran out so there was a new round in interviews. He was in a pissy mood leading up to it, annoyed at having to re-interview again. He just found out he failed the interview. We're now facing a cliff edge financially as we can't get by on just my wage and his contract finishes in 6 weeks.

I'm so angry at him. I was the breadwinner until our first child turned two. Then he got this job and it was great, he doubled his salary just as the cost of living increase hit so we were okay. I worked so hard for years, I even did interviews heavily pregnant to get us in a good position financially and he's just thrown it all away because he couldn't get out of his own way and actually apply himself for a few days. He didn't take the prep seriously and was blindsided in the interview.

He's devastated, doesn't want to go back to work for last few weeks of his contract, doesn't want to complete his remaining projects. I am trying to comfort him and can see he's emotionally fragile but I just want to scream at him 'Why did you let us down? Why didn't you do the work to make sure your family is looked after?'. I wouldn't mind if he tried his best and it didn't work out, but he didn't. Am I unreasonable to be so angry? Should I tell him? Should I just try and help him get a new job first?

I think you're wrong. It doesn't matter who he is employed by, they are not above the law. You were very quick to dismiss this information.

I've worked in HR. Trust me, there's a good chance they didn't want him for the job before he even walked in for the interview. It doesn't matter what prep he did or didn't do, if the current employee in that post isn't given the job it's already been predetermined.

Perhaps he wasn't doing a very good job and the role was above his capabilities. However it's usually down to personal preferences of managers. They like a different employee more, they owe someone favours or they have a silly personal grudge against the original person.

Yes, HR is supposed to be there to keep things neutral but in practice it's just smoke and mirrors. A group of senior managers all pre-agree their picks and deliberately score candidates more harshly than the others. As a HR rep sitting in on interviews I couldn't do anything about this. The conversations probably go on privately and a panel score is a collective thing, it doesn't matter if I score people fairly as all the scores are added together and I'm outnumbered. Raising my concerns about the obvious bias led to severe penalties. That's why I left HR.

Berating him for his failure will absolutely not help his self esteem through this next job search. You need to be inspiring him and lifting him up to do better, not dragging him down into self loathing. Nobody is motivated by screaming criticism.

It's why my friend left HR too

He doesn’t have permanent employment rights.

There would be POTENTIAL for 4+ years, but it is very easy for employers to avoid that and the civil service complies perfectly with the rules for avoiding it, like most other large businesses. As long as the employer has objective justification there is absolutely no automatic rights.

I've nc for this too. My DH was in a similar position recently, except he had been in a permanent job for 10 years. He was always moaning about his manager and how she didn't like him. When he was at risk of redundancy his colleagues all went out and applied for other jobs, as well as being in the redeployment pool. He didnt. He just kept relying on applying for jobs in the same organisation ( under the manager he didnt get on with who had scored him far lower than his immediate line manager) and was and appealing decisions, which is fine if he was doing other things too but he wasn't, then was massively depressed when he was rejected. He's been going from one short term contract to another ever since. We have older kids and we can deal with it ok but with less money, and it will mainly be me paying for most things, but if I had 2 toddlers I'd be well pissed off too. Will you save on childcare for a bit if he stayed at home until he got another job? Make sure he's not sitting around watching telly while you work full time and do all the home stuff too.

Please actually ensure you understand the law before you state these things with confidence. An employer can easily avoid the 4 year rule as long as they have objective justification- something the civil service & most other large businesses do perfectly.

Yes, this is the case in the university sector too.

But. People in this situation are entitled to redundancy pay when their FTC comes to an end if it's more than two years.

Exactly. He needs to swallow his pride. It is just a job, and business. He needs to change his mindset. It is not about him but what works better for the company. He will need a good reference.

@Ficklebricks your whole post, completely accurate.

@UpsetAtInterview do, please, take heed of this;

"Berating him for his failure will absolutely not help his self esteem through this next job search. You need to be inspiring him and lifting him up to do better, not dragging him down into self loathing. Nobody is motivated by screaming criticism"

You weren't in the room. You don't know what his interview was like. He'd interviewed before for this, he knew the process already and wouldn't need to prep the same for it. He could be ranting to you about how annoying it was to have to do this again but be perfectly polite in the interview.

It's depressing to be rejected and he's having a moment. Then he needs to start looking for jobs.

I have qualified this in earlier posts.

and I used the word “if” in this one as it isn’t clear whether it has been 4 continuous years. The OP clearly isn’t interested in giving any info which is actually helpful in order to advise.

I would be considering if he ever had a chance, the civil service have to cut thousand of jobs.
Coming from a HR background I've known many interview questions asked purely to stump a candidate.

If he was there 4 years he's in a grey area of employment law when it comes to his payouts if his role ends up being one to go.
They will be looking at costs and may well be doing a pre cull of employees.
It's very possible to make up a permanent job, have people apply and then gave them all fail, honestly most people have no idea of the stuff that goes on in higher management, there's nothing fair or right about it.
Cut him some slack, he will know he needs to try harder, sit down together and look for something else.

Dear @UpsetAtInterview This is such a difficult stressful situation. I totally get why you’re angry especially as you’re working so hard.
i think a few days of him wallowing, hitting rock bottom, being angry with himself, prob feeling ashamed … are allowed. Work from home today and tomorrow and then trying to forget over Easter, do something different have some fun.
Then, after Easter, with your support and morale boosting - he has to return. He has to finish his projects and ensure his references are good. He should look at any redundancy possibility. After two years in a consistent employment - even if contractual - certain employment laws kicks in - I’m not an expert but it’s worth him looking into it (Union/ solicitor)
Then whilst working and finishing up current contract, he can ease off a little and interview for other jobs. He can set himself his own tasks / updating CV, signing up with recruitment agencies, LinkedIn up to date, get as much advice as he can in portraying his skills, support you in the home, keep himself busy and purposeful.
It sounds like he let himself down and is angry and ashamed - he knows what he’s done -but he’s prob fed up with the interviewing when he done so well and his salary had increased. maybe the private sector may suit him if he doesn’t like all the bureaucracy.
If he doesn’t have work straight away - then he steps up to support you whilst looking, volunteering, keeping fit so he doesn’t get down and his CV is full.
I wish you both lots of luck - you sound like a great team and I hope you can find a bit more strength and patience!!! X

Continuous or not is irrelevant. Employers can avoid the automatic rights as long as they have objective justification for the contracts, which is something the civil service do perfectly, and is really easy to do particularly with project work as OP has mentioned this is.

I think it sounds like as he was 6th last time this interview was a formality so he didn't need to prep for it. He's made a bad mistake but getting angry with him won't help him move on. Help him prep for next interview. He'll be feeling shit ATM. Help him find other ncies to apply for.

I agree, that's why I haven't said a word to him about being upset. I've been supportive and kind and I'm venting my anger here instead. I want him to find a job he loves that he is happy with. I'm just angry and annoyed at being put in a precarious financial situation beyond my control when he could, and has in the past, done better.

@Ficklebricks That's an interesting viewpoint, thanks for replying. He works in a team, a few of them went for the interview and placed on the wait list. It was open to outside candidates too. The department head led the interview panel and she doesn't particularly like him. It could have been as simple that she just want as generous with scoring his answers as someone else would have been.

If this were the other way round this forum would be outraged at the husband ‘how dare he not support you after you didn’t get a job interview’. It’s totally unacceptable to be angry at him. Frustrated that he didn’t get the job, anxious for the future, wishing he were better - all fine. But angry? You chose him, you know his skill level, your bed!

I understand your frustration that he didn’t do enough prep. The odds were high and he should’ve tried his best for the family.

However, it’s too late now. The key now is finding a solution. He needs to speak to his employer and ask how long he has left on his contract, whether there are other contracts or roles available to him, following four years good service. If it’s looking likely he’ll have to leave within weeks, he needs to urgently apply for other jobs, signing up with agencies for his field etc. Could he even consider consultancy while he finds something else?

While he must be beating himself up, he needs to start looking for solutions. While you must be frustrated with him and worried, you need to shift your focus from blaming him to supporting him to find a solution. That should be the priority for now. Once the immediate financial threat of him being jobless has been overcome, you can then process and work through the tensions it’s caused in your relationship and what he’s learned for the future (i.e. put more effort into interview prep).

OP I would be furious if he had not prepped and been complacent with the interview but putting that aside, he should challenge this with his employer as if he been on continuous fixed term contracts in the same role for 4 years he has the right to be made permanent unless there is a good business reason not to and there isn’t a collective agreement in place with the union not to do this

www.gov.uk/fixed-term-contracts/renewing-or-ending-a-fixedterm-contract

He made a mistake and probably feels awful about it, so having a go at him won't help. I can understand it is hard to continue the contract, having been rejected, but he needs to try. And start looking for new jobs. It's pretty awful to be on a temporary contract for so long, unless you're in the mindset of being open to new opportunities.

I know someone who recently assumed they'd get a promotion but lost out to a colleague who prepped much better. It's a lesson that always prepping well is essential.

Again, he absolutely must go back. Finish his projects. Do a great handover. Leave a tidy space.

Confession - I did that the day I was fired from an unsuitable contract about ten years ago. Made everything nice and straightforward as possible for the next person to pick up the crappy task.

And my last contract was at the same place I had a previous one eight years before. Memories can be long. Never burn bridges, always nurture relationships and contacts. Networking MATTERS.

Time for him to look up and over his laptop. Rest and recover from this, dust himself off and start over. It takes courage and resolve - and a supportive positive partner will help him through this.

The experience will probably do him some good. Make him more aware, realistic and prepared.

Yup I could go back to my substantive post this time but it would be a pretty significant pay cut and my previous role no longer exists so I don’t know what I would be doing. I didn’t have the same luxury in the NHS - I was made redundant based on continuous service and had to find another job.

He has been on an extended fixed term contract for 4 years in the same team covering a number of maternity leaves. It was initially a 12 month maternity leave fixed term but he's been kept on to cover other gaps in the team. As have others in team on fixed term contracts.

I agree with other PP's, there is very little likelihood of getting anything beyond a redundancy payout. I've been in the public sector for over a decade and I've never heard of anyone on a fixed term being made permanent without going through an interview process.

I joined the civil service as maternity cover and was then made permanent without a further interview (I had a managed move to another role). This was allowed because I was originally hired under fair and open competition and it was a lateral move.

Sorry, meant to say: was he hired under fair and open competition originally?