Husband failed interview for own job, panicking!

[UpsetAtInterview]

Name changed for this one. My husband has been on fixed term contracts for 4 years and interviews came up for permanent positions. He placed high in last years interviews and just missed out on a job, but the wait list ran out so there was a new round in interviews. He was in a pissy mood leading up to it, annoyed at having to re-interview again. He just found out he failed the interview. We're now facing a cliff edge financially as we can't get by on just my wage and his contract finishes in 6 weeks.

I'm so angry at him. I was the breadwinner until our first child turned two. Then he got this job and it was great, he doubled his salary just as the cost of living increase hit so we were okay. I worked so hard for years, I even did interviews heavily pregnant to get us in a good position financially and he's just thrown it all away because he couldn't get out of his own way and actually apply himself for a few days. He didn't take the prep seriously and was blindsided in the interview.

He's devastated, doesn't want to go back to work for last few weeks of his contract, doesn't want to complete his remaining projects. I am trying to comfort him and can see he's emotionally fragile but I just want to scream at him 'Why did you let us down? Why didn't you do the work to make sure your family is looked after?'. I wouldn't mind if he tried his best and it didn't work out, but he didn't. Am I unreasonable to be so angry? Should I tell him? Should I just try and help him get a new job first?

She hasn't been saying any of this to him (yet) so why are people dumping on her?
Half my family including DH are Civil Service. If he's eligible to apply for internal jobs under the terms of his branch/arm's length organisation/ whatever it is he should be in with a shot at finding SOMETHING next. The interviews/reapplications are never just formalities. There are strict rules about fair competition. He should have known that honestly. I don't think refusing to go back or deliberately underperforming are great ideas because chances are he may need to work for the CS again depending on what he does.

"Blame culture attitude", what kind of waffle-speak is that? If you mean she's blaming him, yeah, I think she is. But it seems it might well have been partly his fault so blame is not entirely inappropriate.

Civil service or not the law still applies. If he finishes his contract he has the right to be treated as a permanent employee. That means they can make him redundant but they cant just terminate the contract. HR may not have woken up to this or it may be the interview panel were told you cant keep him on more than 4 years, missing that it is 4 years or more.

You can feel angry at him for not doing more prep but you need to point out the law to him. ACAS advice line https://www.acas.org.uk/contact

I know you feel angry but I'm sure he feels shitty enough without being guilt tripped. He needs support, not telling off - he's a grown up and can take responsibility for his own mistakes. Or I'd hope he can!

Are you saying he's been with the samecompany for over 4 years?

What is the civil service? I’ve never understood!

So you don’t think being gainfully employed is an obligation to your family? That’s a weird take but ok.

Everyone will go through periods of joblessness in their career, but the obligation bit comes from doing everything you can to stay employed and provide for your family. The OP’s husband did not do this when he blew off the interview. He didn’t even try!

@UpsetAtInterview ughhh… I get the frustration at your husband and the situation and also get the frustration of not being able to say the obvious to him and having to be supportive of of his dumbass self. Hang in there.

That’s not how civil service interviews work. You have to prepare.

You seem to be putting a lot of the blame for this situation down to him not trying for this interview. But he failed it previously, when presumably that wasn't the case?

Maybe this is a sign that it's not right for him, and time to move one? Perhaps he isn't cut out for the role, or they don't like him, or whatever.

This might be exactly what he needs to find something better.

Again, a load of shit.

All an employer has to do to avoid this is have objective justification. They have 2 clear ones here:

1. Project Work
2. Covering maternity leaves

I think the employer already knew who they wanted for the position even before interviews. Four years fixed term is very odd.

I do find it ridiculous that someone who has already proven themselves (by still being in the contract job 4 year's later) has to interview. This didn't happen year’s ago. I got some great jobs by being contract first then permanent with no more than a query as to whether I’d like to go permanent. Why is everything so complicated nowadays with jobs?

I just saw it was fixed term but I assume they could have got rid if incompetent before then.

Absolutely, interviewing for your own job every year or whatever, it's a sign of a shitty workplace. Either they want him or they dont, it's so bad we accept it's ok to be on fixed term contracts permanently (no pun intended) and people should just roll with it.

OP, I think your husband needed that to be able to look for better jobs with companies that look out for their employees.

It may well be a case of they have 4 permanent jobs and 8 fixed term contractors to fill them. So they will pick the 4 who do the best in the interview or the 4 they like the best and fudge the interview scores

I work in the civil service and already have a prepared bank of answers for most of the questions which come up. I no longer need to spend hours racking my brains for STAR examples.

The issue at the moment is there are very few jobs coming up and the scores that are needed are extremely high. I can tweak my answers to make sure they cover as much as possible but I can't claim to have done something I haven't done.

The last interview I had I was told that my experience was great and my answers were well structured, but someone else got a higher score than me. My husband told me there would be another job to apply for soon and that I should take comfort in the positive feedback, then made me a drink and asked what I fancied for lunch.

@saltinesandcoffeecups he didn't blow anything off. He went to the interview and answered the questions to the best of his ability and experience. OP has made assumptions about how seriously she thinks he took it.

He's not spent the last 6 months lying on the sofa turning down jobs he thinks are beneath him, he's been unsuccessful at an interview and instead of being supportive he's being made to feel like it's all his fault.

@UpsetAtInterview
I don’t agree with anyone giving you a hard time here. I’m completely understand your frustration. It’s about him working hard to make his contribution - and he didn’t, and that will cost the livelihood of you family, which is unfair and unbecoming behaviour, especially when you have put in the huge effort you have.

I can stand the big baby sulking after things like this happen, but just let him commiserate for a bit. The CivilServuce is going through it at the moment - so recruitment might be sparse. However, if he has 4 year permanency, he’ll go into redeployment. He’ll be offered other jobs via redeployment OR he’ll go apply for others in the CS.
He’ll gave access to FTCs in CS jobs online, so I suggest he dusts himself off and gets straight to work if he wants to stay in the game. Use the next six weeks for applications and interviews. He will be entitled to time for that.

There was fascinating thread by a woman who zoomed up the civil service ranks.

How? She dipped in and out. Civil service, private sector, civil service, private sector. She was always picked for posts because both thought they were getting something special. She never stuck around much more than two years. Was fasc how both panels thought they had hit the jackpot

This is really quite common. Having knowledge of “both sides” makes you a valuable resource really and a very attractive hire!

Government departments - DWP, MoD, Home Office, Cabinet Office etc.

I hate people saying they’re angry at other people not achieving. I missed out (not really, she gave me a soul destroying list of how I wasn’t suited) on a well paying job and was relieved and happy when I found a much lower paying job that suits me more. Dh was more than a little bitter that it meant we weren’t on what he thought he would be and I was pretty pissed off that all talk of my job was bitterness with no congratulations that I’d found a job after searching for so long. If you love him be supportive (I don’t mean financially, I mean be there for him)

Then that's what @UpsetAtInterview must do asap Fresh meat so to speak.

I understand you're angry. But in fairness to your husband, he may simply not be competent for the role by comparison with other candidates, which isn't really his fault. I get he did no prep, but in all truth, if he was able for the role, he should have been able to give a decent account of himself regardless, given he does it every day. You may be right and prep would have swung it, but reality is, you don't know. I'm sure he's feeling pretty gutted anyway, so I don't think screaming at him is going to help, and certainly won't change your situation.
As to whether you help him get a new job or not, realistically, what can you do that he can't? He's an adult who should be able to find and apply for jobs within his capabilities without help. There isn't any point in you helping him to get positions that would be otherwise out of his reach, as you can't do the job for him, so he needs to find the level at which he can succeed on his own. If it were me, I'd be a listening ear and supportive of his efforts, but be encouraging him to act for himself.

I think you've just failed your interview as a caring and supportive wife sadly. I know you thought it was a full time role but it was actually a rolling contract. Best not burn your bridges and try to interview elsewhere?

As a customer, I would say he’s become complacent and could do better.

Many in the Civil Service could do better and the public have been suffering at their hands.

It’s about time for a bloody good clear out of personnel and give jobs to those with drive and service commitment.

I think you've just failed your interview as a caring and supportive wife sadly.

woeful thing to say. Don’t mind these comments@UpsetAtInterview

You don’t appear angry at him for not getting the job, you appear angry at the choice he made of resting on his laurels and not putting the adequate effort in to put himself in the best position to pass the interview, when he has demonstrated he us well able to you.

His poor decision making has jeopardised family livelihood and for that your anger is legitimate. Best way forward is to encourage and onwards and upwards stride.