If you were out for a walk with your adult kids/DGC…

[oppieno]

And you stopped at a cafe for a hot drink and a cake, would you always try to pay the bill if you could easily afford it? Especially if you knew they were on less money and had young kids. I don’t want to offend anyone who might be proud, but feel it is only fair and the kind thing to do.

YABU = no, it should be split evenly
YANBU = it would be mean to not pay if you are comfortable and they are your DC/DGC who you don’t often see

Yes, I always pay.. but now they are all earning well, I accept their offers to pay on special occasions, like Mother’s Day or birthday instead of a gift.

I think it’s natural to want to pay for those who are younger and you care for. But it really depends on who earns what. My DM’s been struggling for work recently and I’ve treated her more than usual. If she’s working, she treats me.

My parents are very comfortably off and will usually treat us, which is lovely and we're very grateful. Finances are tighter for my in-laws so we'll normally pay for our own and they'll pay for theirs and that's absolutely fine too.

Yes. Unless one of them had specifically said “I’ll get this, mum.” I do love it when they do that-because I love that they are adults.

Older relatives would normally pay. I’d offer but they would insist. I have a childless uncle who gives me pocket money when he sees me a couple of times a year. I’m 45!

I always do. And my. Mum pays for me :)

We pay for our DDs and partners when we're all out together. We're at a very different stage of life and much more disposable income.

However, what are your feelings on bringing a bottle when they're invited for dinner at ours? They rarely bring one but tend to drink a lot of ours 😁

Yes I always pay. I want to. It's a Mum thing I think.
I remember going on a bus with my mum when I was in my 40's and she paid my bus fare !

We have a 75/25 ratio.

I'm a high earner and I like to look after my mum, but she also has her pride (and tbh, is not on the breadline), so we have a slightly unequal split.

It's about knowing when to pick your battles.

I can’t really afford it but I still always pay as my kids have even less money!

My parents always paid the restaurant/cafe bills when we got together and my IL's were the same. I would pay if I took my dc out (young adults).

I couldn't afford to pay but have paid for my DM when I stay with her. I split the cost when adult DC stay with me (they don't offer to pay for me and they're working ft !).

We always pay the bill if we go out to lunch with our adult children. They aren’t poor ( no grandchildren yet) but they all have mortgages to pay and we don’t.
We also used to pay when we took my parents out because we knew they had very little money and we were well paid.

I’d pay. If I didn’t want to pay for everyone I’d say