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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF's have been using my mums house as a hotel!!

620 replies

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 18:07

My dm died last year. Her house is currently empty and we're in the process of selling it (on the market but no buyer yet). The house next door is owned by a couple. I knew that DM was friendly with them, but (apart from first names) I don't really know them at all. I'll call them "Jean and John" for this

I went round yesterday to check on the property (we live about 45 mins away) and to do some gardening. When I entered the house I noticed immediately that there was a strong smell of cigarettes. Dm didn't smoke so I thought that was very strange.. 🤔

I went into the kitchen and there's dirty dishes in the sink!? My next thought was that squatters must have moved in. I went back to my car and called Dh and then 101 for advice. The police said they could come out but it would likely be a few hours (at least) before they turned up.

Dh arrived and went into have a look. Nobody appeared to be in the house. No obvious signs of a break in, though there's clothes and stuff everywhere. So we decide, ok fine - let's take this as a warning and get the locks changed before the squatters come back.

I called a locksmith and he's in the process of changing the locks. As he's doing this another neighbour from across the road (let's call her "Anne") comes over to ask what's happening. I explain that I think we've had squatters in the house.

Anne then proceeds to tell me that Jean and John (from next door) have currently got family visiting from abroad at the moment.

But it seems rather than pay for a hotel, The CF's been letting them stay in mothers house!!! 😡😡😡 Anne has seen them coming and going since they arrived on Friday. She didn't have our contact details to check with us, but assumed we'd given permission because they seemingly had a key. We had no idea that they had this key.

When the police eventually turned up we explained all this. They went round to speak to Jean and John but they weren't at home. Said they would try again later in the week. We've bagged up the relatives things and left them on their doorstep (I wanted to burn them but DH talked me out of it). 🙄

Will they police be able to charge them with trespassing or something similar? Or are we just going to have to accept that we were (admittedly) stupid for not changing the locks in the first place and move on? I'm beyond angry with them. 😡

OP posts:
blubberyboo · 15/04/2025 20:26

Sammysquiz · 15/04/2025 19:27

Get yourself ready for J&J making up some stories about how your mum agreed this with them before she died.

Dealing with grief plus all the associated admin is so hard, and selling a deceased parent’s property is heartbreakingly hard already without any extra crap on top, Hope you’re doing ok OP.

It wouldn't matter what DM had agreed whilst alive. Any such arrangement ends upon death as the property moves into new ownership. They needed permission from OP as the beneficiary of the estate.

Whatevernext9 · 15/04/2025 20:30

What is ‘CF’?

Mudkipper · 15/04/2025 20:31

Cheeky Fucker.

FOJN · 15/04/2025 20:31

NeringaCS · 15/04/2025 20:21

They absolutely could accuse OP of stealing - she was effectively made an involuntary bailee, which bestows on her a duty of care for the items and a duty to return them. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the law.

Show quote history

It seems you are correct. I would argue that dumping them on the neighbours doorstep where they could get stolen is not fulfilling a duty of care. Keeping them securely locked in the house would be much more sensible.

I'm quite happy to be an arsehole with cheeky fuckers so I'd hold onto their possessions until they'd paid up.

Hastentoadd · 15/04/2025 20:32

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 18:07

My dm died last year. Her house is currently empty and we're in the process of selling it (on the market but no buyer yet). The house next door is owned by a couple. I knew that DM was friendly with them, but (apart from first names) I don't really know them at all. I'll call them "Jean and John" for this

I went round yesterday to check on the property (we live about 45 mins away) and to do some gardening. When I entered the house I noticed immediately that there was a strong smell of cigarettes. Dm didn't smoke so I thought that was very strange.. 🤔

I went into the kitchen and there's dirty dishes in the sink!? My next thought was that squatters must have moved in. I went back to my car and called Dh and then 101 for advice. The police said they could come out but it would likely be a few hours (at least) before they turned up.

Dh arrived and went into have a look. Nobody appeared to be in the house. No obvious signs of a break in, though there's clothes and stuff everywhere. So we decide, ok fine - let's take this as a warning and get the locks changed before the squatters come back.

I called a locksmith and he's in the process of changing the locks. As he's doing this another neighbour from across the road (let's call her "Anne") comes over to ask what's happening. I explain that I think we've had squatters in the house.

Anne then proceeds to tell me that Jean and John (from next door) have currently got family visiting from abroad at the moment.

But it seems rather than pay for a hotel, The CF's been letting them stay in mothers house!!! 😡😡😡 Anne has seen them coming and going since they arrived on Friday. She didn't have our contact details to check with us, but assumed we'd given permission because they seemingly had a key. We had no idea that they had this key.

When the police eventually turned up we explained all this. They went round to speak to Jean and John but they weren't at home. Said they would try again later in the week. We've bagged up the relatives things and left them on their doorstep (I wanted to burn them but DH talked me out of it). 🙄

Will they police be able to charge them with trespassing or something similar? Or are we just going to have to accept that we were (admittedly) stupid for not changing the locks in the first place and move on? I'm beyond angry with them. 😡

I’m furious for you!

The below is from an Irish website so not sure if it applies, but where ever you are located there is possibly something similar

The Constitution protects the inviolability of a citizen's dwelling house. There is a right to sue for trespass, even though no damage or loss has been actually suffered damage. A person can become a trespasser if he stays on land after the consent to enter has ceased.

It is at the very least trespassing in my opinion, there could also be damage to property by smoking

NeringaCS · 15/04/2025 20:32

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2025 20:23

The problem with people saying she should have chucked their stuff in the bin is twofold.

Them being there without the OPs permission doesnt give her the right to do that she could get into trouble herself, and they may not actually know that the OP didnt give permission. If Janet and John told them that it was all fine and above board, why would they question that? I would if say my mum told me something like that.

So it may not be the guests fault at all and they dont deserve to be treated badly if they genuinely thought that they were there with permission.

Absolutely agree on not throwing their stuff away - OP is effectively an involuntary bailee in that scenario which bestows on her the legal responsibility to look after and return the items.

Also agree that it’s possible the guests weren’t told they didn’t have permission - though even if they thought they were allowed to be there, smoking in the house is out of order.

Lavender14 · 15/04/2025 20:33

TeenLifeMum · 15/04/2025 18:17

I can’t stand the smell of smoke. I’d get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill! I’m furious on your behalf.

This^ I'd go through them for a shortcut and send them the invoice for a deep clean. There's no way they didn't know that was seriously out of order.

Original poster
CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 20:37

Anne's just called. They are back and not happy! Lots of shouting and John trying to kick the front door in 😡 Police have been called and we're on our way. Will update later

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2025 20:39

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 20:37

Anne's just called. They are back and not happy! Lots of shouting and John trying to kick the front door in 😡 Police have been called and we're on our way. Will update later

Bloody Hell OP, really stressful for you I am sure
I hope it goes as well as can be expected

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 15/04/2025 20:41

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 20:37

Anne's just called. They are back and not happy! Lots of shouting and John trying to kick the front door in 😡 Police have been called and we're on our way. Will update later

They aren't happy?

The damned nerve of them.

Hope it all goes as smoothly as it can op.

PearlyShamps · 15/04/2025 20:41

Oh blimey!!! Their CF'ery is astounding

Jazzyted · 15/04/2025 20:41

Oh my goodness! Hope you’re ok and police can resolve it for you x

SweetBaklava · 15/04/2025 20:42

Wow this takes CF-ery to a whole new level!!! I actually can’t believe it. What planet are they on 😱

Katrinawaves · 15/04/2025 20:42

They are trying to kick the front door in! They sound completely insane.

murasaki · 15/04/2025 20:42

Trying to kick the door in is outrageous, if it wasn't bad enough already. I hope Anne, who seems lovely, filmed that.

Hastentoadd · 15/04/2025 20:43

PearlyShamps · 15/04/2025 20:41

Oh blimey!!! Their CF'ery is astounding

Beyond astounding, they seem to be behaving as if they have a right to the property!!

SauvignonBlanche · 15/04/2025 20:43

What a cheek!

Emptyandsad · 15/04/2025 20:44

Presumably they've used electricity and gas which you will have to pay for - so there is a form of theft that has taken place

BlackCoffeeAndSugar · 15/04/2025 20:44

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 20:37

Anne's just called. They are back and not happy! Lots of shouting and John trying to kick the front door in 😡 Police have been called and we're on our way. Will update later

Wtf!!!!!

BlackCoffeeAndSugar · 15/04/2025 20:44

Emptyandsad · 15/04/2025 20:44

Presumably they've used electricity and gas which you will have to pay for - so there is a form of theft that has taken place

Good point

pizzaHeart · 15/04/2025 20:45

FuzzyPuffling · 15/04/2025 18:17

I'd have left the belongings in the house so they had to fess up and grovel to get them back.

This ^

Therewasacat · 15/04/2025 20:45

Don't get out of your car until police are there also

PinkPonyClubber · 15/04/2025 20:45

Major CFs. So glad you caught them doing it. Hope all goes well with the police.

MelainesLaugh · 15/04/2025 20:45

I can’t believe they have the nerve to be annnoyed!!

DancingNotDrowning · 15/04/2025 20:45

Nothing surprises me when it comes to people’s ability to behave as if the world owes them everything