Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF's have been using my mums house as a hotel!!

620 replies

CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 18:07

My dm died last year. Her house is currently empty and we're in the process of selling it (on the market but no buyer yet). The house next door is owned by a couple. I knew that DM was friendly with them, but (apart from first names) I don't really know them at all. I'll call them "Jean and John" for this

I went round yesterday to check on the property (we live about 45 mins away) and to do some gardening. When I entered the house I noticed immediately that there was a strong smell of cigarettes. Dm didn't smoke so I thought that was very strange.. 🤔

I went into the kitchen and there's dirty dishes in the sink!? My next thought was that squatters must have moved in. I went back to my car and called Dh and then 101 for advice. The police said they could come out but it would likely be a few hours (at least) before they turned up.

Dh arrived and went into have a look. Nobody appeared to be in the house. No obvious signs of a break in, though there's clothes and stuff everywhere. So we decide, ok fine - let's take this as a warning and get the locks changed before the squatters come back.

I called a locksmith and he's in the process of changing the locks. As he's doing this another neighbour from across the road (let's call her "Anne") comes over to ask what's happening. I explain that I think we've had squatters in the house.

Anne then proceeds to tell me that Jean and John (from next door) have currently got family visiting from abroad at the moment.

But it seems rather than pay for a hotel, The CF's been letting them stay in mothers house!!! 😡😡😡 Anne has seen them coming and going since they arrived on Friday. She didn't have our contact details to check with us, but assumed we'd given permission because they seemingly had a key. We had no idea that they had this key.

When the police eventually turned up we explained all this. They went round to speak to Jean and John but they weren't at home. Said they would try again later in the week. We've bagged up the relatives things and left them on their doorstep (I wanted to burn them but DH talked me out of it). 🙄

Will they police be able to charge them with trespassing or something similar? Or are we just going to have to accept that we were (admittedly) stupid for not changing the locks in the first place and move on? I'm beyond angry with them. 😡

OP posts:
Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 15/04/2025 18:19

I am shocked - what CFs!!😡

So sorry to hear of your loss & now for this to happen!!!😡

Luckily you've now changed locks so they can't get in again.

Presumably 'Anne' now has your phone number so that she can tell you if any further infringements?

I'd also ask the police to keep an eye on the property - not that they have the person-power to do so. But if you send them an email you will have the evidence for your insurance company to show that you made all steps to keep your property safe if any damage done. Also please get the numbers for the officers who visited - just in case. Don't want to worry you, but smoking could cause a fire & you need the evidence that you've taken all steps possible to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

SoloSofa24 · 15/04/2025 18:19

What would have happened if the estate agents had brought a potential buyer round to view while the uninvited guests were there?

I wonder if they were planning to give you any money for the electricity and hot water they have presumably been using? And if their cigarettes had caused a fire, would your insurers have paid out?

I would send a very clear, formal letter to 'Jean and John' explaining how unacceptable this was and asking for compensation for utilities, professional cleaning (it can take ages to get the smell of smoke out of a place) and the cost of replacing the lock.

murasaki · 15/04/2025 18:19

You did change the back door locks too?

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/04/2025 18:19

That's outrageous. The cheek of some people!

I think if it was me I'd be sticking around until they get back. The satisfaction of having them try the key and not gaining entry....until you open the door to confront them....would be priceless.

viques · 15/04/2025 18:19

I think you were very generous to give them their stuff back. I would have been inclined to sort through and sell any decent stuff to pay for the gas and electricity they had used and as payment for your “ hospitality “.

purplecorkheart · 15/04/2025 18:19

I would have probably just left the stuff inside and changed the locks and let them contact you or break in and then press charges.

However being sensible you have done the right thing. I think in the UK you would have to declare a dispute with neighbours if you want to sell so I think you have handled it will.

My sympathies that you have to deal with something like this when you are grieving. Please do not blame yourself for not changing the locks, few of us would in your circumstances.

Broadswordcallingdannyboy1 · 15/04/2025 18:19

Although the neighbours were CF, I would actually have been relieved that it wasn't swatters!

arcticpandas · 15/04/2025 18:20

How awfully disrespectful ! I bet they didn't tell the relatives that they didn't have permission. They ought to have returned the keys immediately the cf!

unlikelywitch · 15/04/2025 18:20

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 18:18

Apart from changing the locks I would also put up cameras and swap details with Anne.

This 👆🏻

NeringaCS · 15/04/2025 18:20

HorsingAround2022 · 15/04/2025 18:16

That is shocking! I would certainly hope that they would be charged with trespassing at the very least.

Trespassing isn’t a criminal offence, apart from in very specific circumstances - you can only be charged with trespassing if you did not leave when asked to do so and caused serious damage or major disruption to the function of the place you were occupying.

The ability to charge people with trespassing under those conditions is new - it only dates back to 2022 and was introduced to manage Just Stop Oil-type protests at oil refineries/arms factories etc.

There’s zero chance of trespass charges for OP’s mum’s neighbours - they’re not still there and they haven’t caused serious damage.

Love51 · 15/04/2025 18:21

Sorry for your loss and the disturbing behaviour of your neighbours (and their friends, although they may not have known). Just a thought, does the law say you have to declare any disputes with the neighbours when selling? In your shoes I'd check that out before proceeding as you are planning to sell. Best of luck!

Fullofpudding · 15/04/2025 18:22

I take it they will be paying the gas, electricity and water they have used too.

vandelier · 15/04/2025 18:22

If they had asked, would you have agreed for them to use the house?

Maybe they were great friends of your mother and helped her out a lot, do you know what the relationship was like? They do have keys, but so do many good and trusted neighbours too.

However, I think it was very very cheeky of them to do this without asking. But I bet they never thought you would arrive. Would you have visited much since you lost your mum? At the end of the day, they took a chance and lost.

I'd leave it now. Not worth pursuing, just chalk it up to experience. No real damage done, the house will be sold and you will soon no longer have any connection with it. That would be my approach anyway.

Ener · 15/04/2025 18:22

I would go round there

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/04/2025 18:23

SoloSofa24 · 15/04/2025 18:19

What would have happened if the estate agents had brought a potential buyer round to view while the uninvited guests were there?

I wonder if they were planning to give you any money for the electricity and hot water they have presumably been using? And if their cigarettes had caused a fire, would your insurers have paid out?

I would send a very clear, formal letter to 'Jean and John' explaining how unacceptable this was and asking for compensation for utilities, professional cleaning (it can take ages to get the smell of smoke out of a place) and the cost of replacing the lock.

I'd guess though that Jean and John could just say 'nope, nothing to do with us, Anne must have been mistaken, don't know what she saw but nothing to do with us.' And without some kind of proof that they were involved where do you go from there? They might even say that late DM gave them permission to use the house 'whenever they wanted' if they were caught with proof that it had been them using the house. Then they'd do the 'oh, we didn't realise that YOU didn't want that arrangement to continue....'

CFs gonna CF, sadly and they will have ALL the excuses if you catch them red handed.

Shetlands · 15/04/2025 18:24

If the house is empty, your house insurance could be invalid. If you haven't already done this, you can insure an empty house with a specific policy.

loropianalover · 15/04/2025 18:24

What a low and dirty thing to do to a grieving family.

Don’t know if there’s anything you could do legally but honestly in this situation I’d be seeing if a local paper or some rag like Daily Mail want to do a piece and embarrass them.

Runningoutofpatiencefucksandmoney · 15/04/2025 18:25

Wow, that's next level CFuckery

ImWearingPantaloons · 15/04/2025 18:25

Cheeky rude inconsiderate twats. How dare they????!!!

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2025 18:26

CFery to the max
However, I am not sure if they have done anything illegal.

Original poster
CustardCreamsfortea · 15/04/2025 18:26

No sign of Jean and John and the relatives yet. We've swapped details with Anne and she's going to keep us updated (and an eye on the house). She's on our side and was absolutely horrified when she realised what they'd done.

OP posts:
UrsulasHerbBag · 15/04/2025 18:26

What goes through people’s minds to think this is ok? As pp suggested, ring doorbells and a burglar alarm. Sheer brass necked cheek.

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 15/04/2025 18:27

Cheeky cheeky bastards!

I know you've changed the locks but might be worth getting a camera put up at the front and back, until the house is sold.

Wonderberry · 15/04/2025 18:28

You should get a ring doorbell too for safety so you can monitor the property remotely. The neighbour won't always be there.

murasaki · 15/04/2025 18:28

I hope it rained on their belongings.

Swipe left for the next trending thread