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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think letting kids eat McDonald’s weekly is borderline neglect?

350 replies

BeAlertBeaker · 14/04/2025 09:26

It’s not “a treat” if it’s regular.

OP posts:
4timesthefun · 14/04/2025 11:20

My parenting seems to be on a spectrum from borderline neglect to perhaps quite attentive. I have four children, and three of those children are in elite sport, the oldest 2 have competed at a national level in their chosen individual sport. Unfortunately they aren’t doing the same sport, which increases the logistical challenge. Our afternoon/evening schedule is intense and both my husband and I have needed to make changes to our careers to facilitate it. They are ultimately driving their sport commitments, but one of my sanity savers through the week is the drive thru dinner on a Tuesday, as that’s the worst night in the week. I’m not going to pretend it’s a healthy choice, but I don’t actually care. They are all very fit, healthy, and lean. I probably tip right into proper neglect though, as the weekly fast food dinner isn’t the only bit of junk food they have through the week. Someone quickly call child services, as mine would also consume a chocolate or an ice cream through the week….. maybe even both!

CleverButScatty · 14/04/2025 11:21

WhySoManySocks · 14/04/2025 09:33

YANBU.

To everyone saying it’s a treat, I doubt that the kids who eat McD regularly eat unprocessed food rich in fruit, vegetables and protein on other days.

How are you making that link? Plenty of families will cook a healthy meal each evening for 6 days and on the 7th have fast food because of activities/socialising/a rest night for parents.

OtherCoraline · 14/04/2025 11:28

YABU and my DC don’t have it weekly.

Katemax82 · 14/04/2025 11:33

WhySoManySocks · 14/04/2025 09:33

YANBU.

To everyone saying it’s a treat, I doubt that the kids who eat McD regularly eat unprocessed food rich in fruit, vegetables and protein on other days.

Mine do

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 14/04/2025 11:59

BeAlertBeaker · 14/04/2025 10:20

You’re probably right, no parent gets everything perfect and I’m not claiming to be the exception. We all have blind spots and areas we could improve on.

But acknowledging that no one is perfect shouldn’t mean we stop having honest conversations about habits that have become culturally accepted but might still carry long-term consequences, especially when children are involved and don’t have control over those choices.

This isn’t about policing individual parents. It’s about questioning whether “normal” always equals “harmless.” I think it’s possible to reflect on that without pretending we’re flawless ourselves.

Why not discuss and reflect on something that you could improve on, then?

MissJeanBrodiesmother · 14/04/2025 12:02

If you want to discuss why in our culture people in general eat unhealthy food then do that. Your post was aimed at parents. It also specifically said it was neglectful.

Mumrun25 · 14/04/2025 12:17

Huge respect OP. You've come under a barrage of fury and you're sticking to your guns to deliver your point. Love that.

Is a weekly McDonald's neglect? no it isn't.

But do I agree with everything else around the point you're making? Yep I do and it's horribly uncomfortable - because it doesn't have to be Macdonalds - it can be anything fast food ultra-processed related. Have I had to reflect recently on what I feed my child? Yep. Is holding the mirror up to yourself fun, (particularly when the person in the mirror has a BMI over 30)? Nope. Is making changes difficult? Yep.

Ultra-processed foods are becoming now what smoking was. A huge cultural shift is slowly taking place and along that journey comes first the outrage, where people are being forced to reflect on choices they've made and their way of life. They will push back and argue till the cows come home on their right to make those choices. This is what happens when a way of life we enjoy comes under threat.

How many people here defending the weekly big mac would defend parents smoking inside around small children? Not many. But go back to the 1980 - 1990s and parents would have been reacting in much the same way they are here - outrage - I work hard, I've been ill, smoking is my one last pleasure, it calms me down which helps me be a better parent, both my parents smoked and it never did me any harm, you're a horrible judgmental person, you're haughty etc etc. Rinse. Repeat. Ultra-processed food.

Are people who do the weekly Friday fast food blow out putting their kids behind those parents that don't in terms of health? - yeah they are.

It's not neglect, it's not even close to neglect, but it is a detrimental outcome for yourself and for your children. Burying your head in the sand will only keep it at bay for so long - just like with smoking. It's coming for us. We are no longer going to be able to hide behind the 'everything in moderation' lie we've been sold. This food is just bad on every level that no amount of moderation can undo - in the same way there is no 'smoking in moderation'.

Equally, let's be really clear - people who are indulging their kids with a weekly fast food burger are not giving them organic carrot sticks and home-made lentil soup the rest of the time. Call a spade a fucking spade. If you're alright with the macdonalds then you're alright with the microwave meals, the fish fingers, the frozen pizza's, the fake pasta sauces, the bread that has more chemicals in it then actual ingredients etc etc. You're entire diet is predominantly Ultra-processed with a nod to some cucumber sticks and a couple of pieces of broccoli that make you feel like you're exempt from the conversation and can talk about 'in moderation'. All the while type 2 diabetes continues to sky rocket.

The stark realisation that we can no longer hide from, is that we're poisoning our children with shit food and lining the food companies pockets with profits from our child's future health related misery because we couldn't be arsed to cook or we've failed to realise that cooking isn't putting something pre-packaged in an oven.

Time to wake up. When you do - you can't go back to being blissfully unaware. You can't go back to whacking those two slices of Hovis 50/50 bread in the toaster like you're meeting your child's fibre needs when you realise you're actually lining their guts with ingredients you can't pronounce listed on the plastic wrap.

I've just been through it. You come out the other side battered.

But let's also be really clear - it's not neglect, but then again, neither is smoking around your child....

GCAcademic · 14/04/2025 12:18

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 14/04/2025 11:59

Why not discuss and reflect on something that you could improve on, then?

Oh come on! Where's the fun in that? It's much more satisfying to judge other people!

telestrations · 14/04/2025 12:21

It really depends on what they are eating, what activity it is following and what the rest of their week looks likes.

Chips, a very small burger or a happy meal after swimming or football practice in a week mostly made made up with healthy home cooked meal is fine imo. Whereas feeding your kid mostly UPF, fast food and ready meals because you can't be bothered to cook isn't.

macaroniandcheeze · 14/04/2025 12:24

Gloriia · 14/04/2025 09:33

'Personally I wouldn't give mine it weekly but as part of an overall healthy balanced diet its not the end of the world'

The kind of people who take their kids to MacD's every week I doubt give them an overall healthy balanced diet the rest of the time.

What a ridiculously snobbish comment. You think a parent who grabs a quick McDonald’s after their child’s swimming lessons once a week doesn’t provide home cooked meals the rest of the time?!

macaroniandcheeze · 14/04/2025 12:26

I hope all the people bemoaning how unhealthy McDonald’s and other fast food is don’t feed their children any processed meats in their “healthy” home made meals, no sausage and mash, burgers on the bbq in summer, or bacon sandwiches, as they are known carcinogens.
Because this is definitely about health right.. not class / socioeconomic status. …

Pickingmyselfup · 14/04/2025 12:30

I've never known any parent in reality get this het up about food. Most parents I know are trying their best and don't beat themselves up if their kids have a McDonald's weekly.

Last weekend we were away so Friday night was chicken nuggets in a pub, Saturday morning breakfast was sausage, fried egg, lunch a McDonald's, dinner a Pizza Express. Sunday lunch was more chicken nuggets, pasta, dinner snacky stuff since nobody was particularly hungry and we were late back.

They are still alive, I haven't had social services knocking on my door telling me I have been neglecting my children.

luckylavender · 14/04/2025 12:31

Loads of people on here who have no clue what neglect is

Mumble12 · 14/04/2025 12:31

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2025 10:41

Neglect having chicken nuggets and chips once a week

wow

you are so lucky don’t know the true meaning of neglect in kids

no food - clean clothes - being abused - being ignored - emotional mental physical abuse to name a few

mini blondes 8 prob has one every 2weeks or so.

Sometimes god forbid once a week on a Friday after school on the way to her private gym lessons that I pay a lot for

total neglectful mummy here then. Holds hands up

I commented similar on yet another ridiculous thread about McDonalds. I had 3 dd's all elite gymnasts for 10 years. We definitely had McDonalds on the way home from training more times than I care to count. They were all excelling in their sport because the rest of their meals were well balanced and nutritious. But to be honest, its chicken/beef and potatoes. It's hardly like slinging them a bag of toxic waste and saying crack on is it!

Geneva12 · 14/04/2025 12:44

Well you better call ss on me and my DH then as we ave a McDonalds every Thursday. DH picks us up one on his way back from DD’s football practice.
he does this because there is no time to eat before practice and it’s too late to cook a full on meal when we get back before the DCs bed time.

Suzuki76 · 14/04/2025 12:59

Dramatic · 14/04/2025 10:47

Absolutely right. I was never allowed McDonald's (or any other fast food) as a kid other than at other kids birthday parties. Sweets were limited too. As soon as I was old enough I was at McDonald's constantly. Gorged on chocolate and in my mid 30s I'm struggling with weight and other issues because of it.

My kids have McDonald's or a takeaway weekly. It isn't forbidden food and therefore I don't think they will gorge on it like I did. In fact my oldest who is almost 18 loves things like salad and is so much more likely to choose healthy options than I was.

This is completely true. There is all this (bullshit) about how junk food is a British thing, absorbed from the USA. And yet supposedly, for example, French women don't get fat. I did a year at a French university and the McDonalds on campus was always rammed. The student body subsisted entirely on junk and cigarettes as soon as they got out of the house.

LazyDayInTheGarden · 14/04/2025 13:01

Mumrun25

Totally agree.

mbosnz · 14/04/2025 13:07

My kids did eat fresh, from scratch, good food every other meal. Weetbix, yoghurt and fruit, or wholemeal toast with eggs, for breakfast, then wholemeal roll with salad and meat filling, plus fruit, home made baking, for lunch, then cheese and fruit for afternoon tea. With meat, or fish, plus five+ veges for dinner. Water and milk for drinks.

They also had a Friday night takeout. Just like every Saturday, when I was a kid, we had fish and chips.

I'm a little uncertain what about that constitutes neglect.

The ones I worry about are the ones with juice in their bottles. I guess we all have our 'things'.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 14/04/2025 13:44

You have no idea how excited we were when DS ate a burger for the first time and liked it. He's autistic, largely lives on pizza, cheese and ham subs and plain pasta with cheese - so basically carbs & cheese - and he'll also eat chicken, fruit and cakes (he eats a lot of avocado).

Anytime he willingly tries new food is exciting, and if he actually wants to eat it again and add it to the list of foods he likes? Internally I'm throwing a party, while on the outside making out like its no big deal.

takealettermsjones · 14/04/2025 14:20

Quite right, and in addition, people don't realise how neglectful it is to let them drink bottled water, because of the microplastics. But obviously you can't drink tap water because the rust particles are carcinogens, so now we just drink pickle juice out of the jar. It does seem to make you more thirsty; I've gone through enough jars to start making and canning my own jam. Obviously we wouldn't dream of eating it because of the sugar content, so we just use it to make glitter glue. All the kids' crafts have gone mouldy now but that's the organic life.

I only realised a few years ago that it's not a good idea to go out too often, either, what with all the air pollution. What a fright I had when I realised! But it's ok now as I don't let my kids out any more - they just stay in their rooms next to an air purifier. They miss their friends but it's definitely the best outcome for their lung health.

I also got rid of screens completely when I read online about the dangers of too many pixels. I flung my tablet straight out the window - it did hit the postman over the head, but better that than let him anywhere near my kids with his germ-ridden so-called "letters." We don't use screens any more; I'm using a giant torch to send this message via morse code to a bloke who lives down the road. He used to be a fisherman so he knows how to translate my letters of light into the devil's dots, and post them on my behalf. He tried to drop off a fish pie as a thank you gift for my thank you gift (a pristine copy of "Sick of This Shit" by someone called T. L. M. Jones), but obviously we can't eat anything with that much mercury, so we fed it to the neighbour's turtle dove.

Gloriia · 14/04/2025 14:36

takealettermsjones · 14/04/2025 14:20

Quite right, and in addition, people don't realise how neglectful it is to let them drink bottled water, because of the microplastics. But obviously you can't drink tap water because the rust particles are carcinogens, so now we just drink pickle juice out of the jar. It does seem to make you more thirsty; I've gone through enough jars to start making and canning my own jam. Obviously we wouldn't dream of eating it because of the sugar content, so we just use it to make glitter glue. All the kids' crafts have gone mouldy now but that's the organic life.

I only realised a few years ago that it's not a good idea to go out too often, either, what with all the air pollution. What a fright I had when I realised! But it's ok now as I don't let my kids out any more - they just stay in their rooms next to an air purifier. They miss their friends but it's definitely the best outcome for their lung health.

I also got rid of screens completely when I read online about the dangers of too many pixels. I flung my tablet straight out the window - it did hit the postman over the head, but better that than let him anywhere near my kids with his germ-ridden so-called "letters." We don't use screens any more; I'm using a giant torch to send this message via morse code to a bloke who lives down the road. He used to be a fisherman so he knows how to translate my letters of light into the devil's dots, and post them on my behalf. He tried to drop off a fish pie as a thank you gift for my thank you gift (a pristine copy of "Sick of This Shit" by someone called T. L. M. Jones), but obviously we can't eat anything with that much mercury, so we fed it to the neighbour's turtle dove.

That is all very amusing but we all know there is a massive obesity problem in this country putting a huge drain on nhs resources.

To eat crap occasionally is of course fine but to frame it as a regular treat does encourage unhealthy eating habits. I wonder how many people who go weekly <and probably more> are overweight/obese?

CheeseAndHamToastieAndCrisps · 14/04/2025 14:44

I’ve just bought my child chips and cheese for lunch as we were out. Someone refer me to social care.

notedbiscuits · 14/04/2025 14:51

I tell you what is neglect.

Last year when we had 30c temperatures, I saw a baby dressed in a snowsuit screaming its head off as was suffering from being suffocated. What sort of parent dresses their babies in winter clothing in the very hot summers?

ConnieHeart · 14/04/2025 14:53

Pickingmyselfup · 14/04/2025 12:30

I've never known any parent in reality get this het up about food. Most parents I know are trying their best and don't beat themselves up if their kids have a McDonald's weekly.

Last weekend we were away so Friday night was chicken nuggets in a pub, Saturday morning breakfast was sausage, fried egg, lunch a McDonald's, dinner a Pizza Express. Sunday lunch was more chicken nuggets, pasta, dinner snacky stuff since nobody was particularly hungry and we were late back.

They are still alive, I haven't had social services knocking on my door telling me I have been neglecting my children.

Yeah I find it hard for me & my kids to have a balanced diet on holiday. We were in Lisbon last week. Dd1 (21) was OK dietwise but dd2 (16) didn't want breakfast as she was waking up too late, and as we were out all day every day her lunches consisted of McDonald's, egg & chips and pizza. Dinners weren't much better but they did tend to have a bit of salad with them. I'd get her to eat some fruit before we went out in the evening but she was getting 1-2 portions of fruit/veg a day. I even struggled & was craving some veg when I got home!

takealettermsjones · 14/04/2025 14:54

Gloriia · 14/04/2025 14:36

That is all very amusing but we all know there is a massive obesity problem in this country putting a huge drain on nhs resources.

To eat crap occasionally is of course fine but to frame it as a regular treat does encourage unhealthy eating habits. I wonder how many people who go weekly <and probably more> are overweight/obese?

To eat crap occasionally is of course fine

😮

Oh, no. They've got you too. It is not fine, it is neglect.

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