To think letting kids eat McDonald’s weekly is borderline neglect?

[BeAlertBeaker]

It’s not “a treat” if it’s regular.

My DD9 has a weekly takeaway treat with me (could be Mcds, Dominoes etc) and she's very healthy. Eats plenty of fruit, veg, grains etc the rest of the time amd will often choose fruit over sweets/crisps as a snack.

It's all about balance

I think this is a ‘wind them up and watch them go thread’.

I sincerely and genuinely hope you're right. Because parents like the OP truly terrify me. They really literally scare me. I know they really think they're right, but the serious harm they do is unforgiveable. I really, really, really hope this thread is a fake/troll.

Unless there is a rare group of children who like Salad and veggies

Not to humble brag but my 2 actually do like veg.

But as a neglectful mother I force feed them McDonald's every week

This thread is the most hilarious example of competitive Mumsnet I've seen. Not only do we have judgement raining down on parents who have the temerity to get in a convenient takeaway once a week, but you also have people 'confessing' to a weekly takeaway but desperately mitigating it with hand-polished organic veg with snails from the garden every other meal!

What a ridiculous load of nonsense. If your kids are thriving, they get some fruit and veg in their systems every so often, and a takeaway or freezer food means you're able to stay sane amid the impossible equation of family duties - who bloody cares?

My sons dietician told me to feed my child more mcdonalds 🤷‍♀️ he needs to up his protein and chicken nuggets are the only meat he will eat. He's got ARFID.

What would have been neglect is if we ignored his needs and didn't listen to medical advice though.

I voted YABU because a) I think as you have observed, your choice of words are unnecessarily hyperbolic and b) I think you are barking up the wrong tree re unhealthy food.

If you look at the nutritional content of a MacDonalds on their handy calculator it is no worse than any other processed food of that style, whether take away or from the freezer section so as part if a balanced diet shouldn’t be a problem.

The real risk to health is ultra processed food - some of which is not even food.

Ultra Processed Food is defined as having ingredients you would not normally be able to obtain as a domestic cook.

I have to eat gluten free and so read all ingredients in everything and some popular, ‘healthy’ marketed items like low sugar/low fat etc can be full of all sorts of gunk. The cumulative effect of which we don’t yet understand but it is increasing joy obvious that is causes inflammation and all sorts of issues.

Absolutely right. I was never allowed McDonald's (or any other fast food) as a kid other than at other kids birthday parties. Sweets were limited too. As soon as I was old enough I was at McDonald's constantly. Gorged on chocolate and in my mid 30s I'm struggling with weight and other issues because of it.

My kids have McDonald's or a takeaway weekly. It isn't forbidden food and therefore I don't think they will gorge on it like I did. In fact my oldest who is almost 18 loves things like salad and is so much more likely to choose healthy options than I was.

15y DS eats McDonalds probably once a week - teen boys do eat too much junk food. He's also a competing athlete, runs 60km a week and has a sub 16 min ParkRun. The rest of his meals are incredibly healthy, unprocessed protein, carbs, fruit and veg, and dairy. He's in superb shape, strong and lean, I'm not in the slightest bit bothered if he has a burger and fries once a week. I certainly don't think he's neglected.

The fish and chips after a pony ride wasn’t "presented as a cherished occasional treat". The poster said it was nearly every Friday for several years.

Interesting how you’ve interpreted that. Perhaps the beach and the pony made it somehow more acceptable to you.

I think context matters tbh.

My kid is on the skinny side so I'm fine with a near-weekly McDonalds or chippy. Gets fat into him and we don't add salt etc. so I don't think it's that bad honestly.

But if a child is obese and parents are still giving a lot of junk food I do personally think that's neglect.

There are waaaaaay more calories and fat in the offerings from our local middle-class gentrified independent sandwich place.

DS likes the idea of McDs but has never once finished a meal there, so the nutritional impact on his diet from going occasionally is minimal. 6 chips and a sugar free fruit shoot. However, the convenience for me is also extremely minimal, because it means I have to make him some proper food later.

They're dead to me since they discontinued the sour cream dip anyway.

This is the kind of thread which makes MN look ridiculous and out of touch as well as cause unnecessary stress to normal but insecure parents who believe they have to be perfect.

I’m unsure of the OPs motivation in doing this but what I’m 100% sure of is that she is not perfect in every aspect of her life.

I also find the parents who do performative perfection are often far from it, they are projecting what they wish to be and know deep down they aren’t.

Why bother asking the question when you have clearly made your mind up?

Being fed is not neglect. I can think of other things more classed as neglect than a weekly McDonald's. I can't imagine social services would be at someone's door over a mcnugget happy meal. Why do we need to demonise food. I say neglect would be when a child is not getting enough to eat over what they are eating. i just can't get my knickers in a twist over a maccies once a week. And why can't it be a treat even if it's once a week? Who made you the treat police?

There’s never any in between on MN, it’s always one of two extremes. You either eat nothing but UPFs or you eat not a single trace, and boil roadkill instead of using an Oxo.

Can I add that if this constitutes neglect then most children who have school dinners must also be neglected because they’re also generally processed crap.

It was about how culturally we’ve reached a point where weekly fast food for kids is so normal that even questioning it gets labelled as snobbery or insensitivity

Weekly fast food was normal 50 years ago when I was growing up. Weekly fish and chips on pay day without fail. It’s not a new thing, the thing that’s changed is the sheer variety of fast food available and lifestyles which mean families are running to stand still.

It’s not neglect, borderline or otherwise. And suggesting it is has nothing to do with wanting a discussion and everything about provoking a response.

The poster did actually say they had WEEKLY fish and chips not just once in a while.

I had McDonald's or pizza every week as a child and it's a great memory. My dm cooked healthy meals every other night. It was a break from the norm for her aswell as us. We're all healthy adults. I probably take my kids once per month. We need treats in life or life becomes extremely dull. Yabu.

Most of the things I ate as a kid for treats, I can’t stand now. But I ate them because we were poor so in the context or genuinely shit food, McDonalds once or twice a year was a treat and likely healthier than the processed and sugary Tesco value crap we ate at home. I imagine it’s the same for most kids - as their taste buds develop, they’ll like other food/ restaurants better.

Regardless, McDonalds in and of itself isn’t what causes obesity- it’s the wider health and lifestyle of the family that causes obesity. And being super strict around food can also lead to other issues.

Parenting is so hard these days because we have people on forums like the OP advocating for perfection when good enough should be adequate. Life is already stressful as it is - as long as the kids are loved, in an emotionally and physically stable environment, and have a balanced diet (which can include a weekly McDonald’s), I think that’s fine. Who are we to judge other parents trying their best?

This thread is the most hilarious example of competitive Mumsnet I've seen. Not only do we have judgement raining down on parents who have the temerity to get in a convenient takeaway once a week, but you also have people 'confessing' to a weekly takeaway but desperately mitigating it with hand-polished organic veg with snails from the garden every other meal!

And of course their DC are all super skinny/competitive athlete/hollow legged who would rather inhale humous but sometimes slum it at McDs.

Make your own. Tin of drained chickpeas, garlic, anything else you want. No oil.

Anything else you want?
Lard and sugar it is.

That poster clearly said their dripping in fat chips were weekly. Not a one off memory. Is that ok because it was someone who had a pony so you’re less likely to label them as neglectful? Is your issue a class thing in some way maybe?

Exactly.

I think some parents dictate what their kids don't like in food to others, when the kid has never tried it. Or make their kids say "I don't like" instead of "I have never tried that".

Had friends who said they don't like something but actually never tried it. Myself, parents and others asked them to try these foods out and actually most liked them.