Page 3 | LOUD husband- I'm either going mad or he's doing it on purpose.

Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 14/04/2025 20:34

SInce DH turned 50 it's been a rapid descent! He's rude to people, unbelievably loud and seems to demand constant attention even if it's negative. He's as deaf as a post, was told by the GP and a hearing aid centre that he needed hearing aids but won't have a bar of it. As a result, he's got no idea how L O U D he is all the time. Loop earplugs (Engage type) are in my ears from when he gets up to when I got to bed. I could cheerfully murder him when he's eating. And the sniffing/throat clearing. DEAR GOD.

Canttakeitanymore1 · 14/04/2025 20:41

I tell you, living alone is true bliss.

tictactoo · 14/04/2025 20:44

Op he sounds just like my mother shes the same always as been it had nothing to do with her age.
The noise you say he does i just could not put up with it it would send me in a rage.

flower858 · 14/04/2025 21:06

I have just seen your age but was about to say are you pregnant? 🤣🙈 I am and I have less tolerance to that crap now and have to walk away 🙈 he needs to sort it out but maybe to help you some loop earplugs x

BountifulPantry · 14/04/2025 21:19

Seek revenge? What annoys him?

OldCottageGreenhouse · 14/04/2025 21:38

I’ve never understood loud sneezes. Why aren’t these people keeping their mouth closed when they sneeze? You won’t explode! And you certainly don’t suffocate!

EmmaWoodhouseOfHighbury · 14/04/2025 21:43

He's probably trying to annoy you because you're not giving him enough sex. That's always the reason men misbehave.

Borgonzola · 14/04/2025 21:44

I didn’t know we have the same husband!

BaseDrops · 14/04/2025 22:30

EmmaWoodhouseOfHighbury · 14/04/2025 21:43

He's probably trying to annoy you because you're not giving him enough sex. That's always the reason men misbehave.

Giving him enough sex? What decade did this come from? He’s not on his best dating behaviour which would be the logical way to encourage OP to get it on.

planthelpadvice · 14/04/2025 22:43

I know this isn't funny, but this thread is making me giggle. I am hugely sympathetic though. I'm reading it upstairs in bed accompanied by the stressful soundtrack of my husband unloading and re-loading the dishwasher down in the kitchen.

Littlejellyuk · 14/04/2025 22:54

goingdeafithink · 13/04/2025 21:38

Over the past 6 months or so, my husband has been getting louder and louder in our home.

We have wooden floors upstairs and he walks so heavily it makes the ceiling light shake downstairs. He burps very loudly without any attempt to make it quieter or masked. He likes canned soft drinks and slurps like he's sucking the liquid out of the hole viciously. He makes a kind of smacking noise with his lips after every slurp of tea or coffee too. He coughs and sniffs for about an hour after waking up every morning. His sneezes make my ears ring.

I genuinely sometimes look at him with shock at the sheer amount of noise he makes. We've been married for nearly 10 years and I swear it's never been like this until last year. Whenever I ask him to be quieter, or ask if he realises how loud he is, he either passes it off as a joke or gets grumpy and says something like 'Can't even exist without getting told off'.

I'm at a point where I have to leave the room, or I flinch physically when he's being noisy. It makes me quite angry and upset, feeling like it's deliberate somehow. On the days he's in the office and not at home, I feel so much more relaxed (we both do 3 days at home each week, but not the same days as each other). I don't know if I can carry on living like this.

I haven't rtft yet, sorry, but I had similar with my hubby a while back.
Turns out he had sinus issues and tinnitus, which affected his hearing.
I got him hayfever tablets, saline net pot rinse, which helped to clear out his sinuses and and he went to the doctor for ear drops and nasal spray (and his hearing improved).
He genuinely didn't think his snorting and mouth breathing and so forth was loud.
He was pissing me off with the sheer cacophony of his existence 😆
Send your fella to the GP, and/or buy ear defenders (like I did) for some peace, or else you will want to slap him when he slurps or snores 😆

StrangerOnline · 14/04/2025 22:57

I thought you’ve caught ‘the ick ‘ as soon as I read this.
Probably brought on by the fact that he has stopped making any effort to be polite.

The coughing and sneezing can’t really be helped nor, to a lesser extent, the walking heavily but the burping, and the slurping while drinking is just rude. Especially as it is not as bad while you’re out in public.

No idea how you address it though. If he just takes it as you being grumpy and moaning and isn’t listening to you seriously then I think things will just get worse and worse.
Sorry

Littlejellyuk · 14/04/2025 23:27

Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/04/2025 18:50

Completely understand. My DH has always been loud but my God its out of control now. Constantly clearing his throat and coughing. Everytime he answers the phone to anybody he coughs before saying hello, so rude. He yanks every door handle, slams doors and wardrobes. Sings and puts on music at 6am in the morning when getting ready for work. Talks to the cats like they are living in a different country. Slams their litterbox when he moves it to the hall. Brushes his teeth and chokes himself on the toothbrush because he needs to brush his tongue so rams toothbrush to back of his throat. Moisturiser and hair gel is also violently opened and closed. This morning alone he plodded up the stairs like a baby elephant four times before he went to work, went outside and opened and closed the front door three times, slammed every door on the car three times, knocked down the ironing board. Came into our bedroom four times banging around, pulling out drawers and sliding the slide wardrobes. Took all my strength to not scream at him to fuck of out of the house and stop being a noisy inconsiderate p*k. Sorry rant over, feel better now.

I've just cried pure tears from laughing 😂

Littlejellyuk · 14/04/2025 23:34

You could always fight fire with fire?
Maybe start farting loudly, followed by scratching your arse when he's next to you slurping his fizzy pop? If he complains about the unladylike behaviour, then burp and say I only behave like a lady when there is a gentleman present. 😆

Humpsr · 15/04/2025 00:06

Have you children?
If not, make your plans.
He sounds like an uncouth pig.
You rightly have the ick, it will only get worse.
That he can turn it on and off is a huge issue.
Tell him and if he refuses to work with you, have a think.
Your ick will turn into revulsion unfortunately.

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 15/04/2025 00:30

Peony1897 · 13/04/2025 21:49

As men get older they do become of the mindset ‘I’ll do what I like’ and they seem to intrude more in spaces as if to prove they’re dominant. I was on a train this evening and a man of about 60 got on, he spent the entire ride noisily clearing this throat, coughing, humming and whatever else, in a silent carriage. I think it’s a male domineering, attention seeking ‘you will notice me’ thing

That's really interesting. I have an elderly neighbour who makes a lot of noise of exactly this kind. I can hear him very loudly when he goes up or down the building stairs. Never thought it was a male thing, but now that you mentioned, I've never seen an elderly woman doing the same...

Topseyt123 · 15/04/2025 02:23

None of this would really register on the radar in our house.

I am quite a loud sneezer (and often farter too), as is DH. We each just blame the other and laugh about it. We used to blame the dog, but he is sadly no longer with us

We're all different though. If you don't like it then you don't, I suppose.

Fannybycandlelight · 15/04/2025 08:15

Toodaloo1567 · 14/04/2025 08:42

Older men do develop problems with being too loud. Probably due to hearing loss. Enormous sneezes, excessive throat clearing, trumpety farts, window-shattering coughs and ick-inducing slurping, mulchy chomping and lip smacking when eating. All you can do is make him aware that he has become noisy. My worry would be that he is letting his guard down at work. Loss of inhibition is also an early sign of dementia, btw.

Oh noooo ! Please stop it !

I've just read this and spilled my tea with laughing.

Has my husband moved into your house?

(If so I wish you would keep him - and the trumpety farts 😆)

LovelySG · 15/04/2025 08:20

My husband is loud. Bursts into a room, talks really loudly, has music on - too loud - wherever he is, coughs like a seal at the circus, telly volume too loud, shouting at sport on the telly.

I fantasise about stabbing him.

mewkins · 15/04/2025 08:36

Cctviswatchingme001 · 14/04/2025 18:50

Completely understand. My DH has always been loud but my God its out of control now. Constantly clearing his throat and coughing. Everytime he answers the phone to anybody he coughs before saying hello, so rude. He yanks every door handle, slams doors and wardrobes. Sings and puts on music at 6am in the morning when getting ready for work. Talks to the cats like they are living in a different country. Slams their litterbox when he moves it to the hall. Brushes his teeth and chokes himself on the toothbrush because he needs to brush his tongue so rams toothbrush to back of his throat. Moisturiser and hair gel is also violently opened and closed. This morning alone he plodded up the stairs like a baby elephant four times before he went to work, went outside and opened and closed the front door three times, slammed every door on the car three times, knocked down the ironing board. Came into our bedroom four times banging around, pulling out drawers and sliding the slide wardrobes. Took all my strength to not scream at him to fuck of out of the house and stop being a noisy inconsiderate p*k. Sorry rant over, feel better now.

This sounds horrendous but the "violently applying hair gel' did make me laugh.

Inhave no tolerance for this level of noise and I remember my mum asking my dad why he was being so LOUD.

Fannybycandlelight · 15/04/2025 08:40

Maybe play him this op ?

outofofficeagain · 15/04/2025 08:47

My DH demands attention like a toddler. It’s exhausting.

constant talking out loud to no one in particular, stomping around the place etc.

He makes the mirror shake when he comes to bed and turns the light on even if I’m asleep. Does Duolingo loudly the minute he wakes up.

I’m sick of asking him not to and now sleep with an eye mask and noise cancelling ear plugs/headphones.

I often wear noise cancelling headphones around the house.

I’ve explained to him that I’ve become very sensitive and to noise 🤔 so if he wants my attention he’ll have to ask me
something directly.

I think some men become obsessed with taking up space.

thestudio · 15/04/2025 11:40

Men whistling comes from exactly the same place.

It makes my blood boil.

Mountainfrog · 15/04/2025 11:51

I would go with misphonia plus peri depending on your age. It’s also possible that he is getting louder but the rage/panic/needing to leave the room bit sounds like misphonia. It’s really common.

Alwaysinamood · 16/04/2025 09:57

I doubt it’s his hearing. They’re all Neanderthal animals at this age. My husband is the same, he’s disgusting. We went for a walk in the lakes and he kept blowing his nose out on the ground cos he had no tissues. He farts all the time, belches, I can hear him eating cereal through closed doors and I have to constantly tell him to close his mouth sometimes. They must all descend back into apes or something. He’s always stomped around heavy footed drives me mad.