Not stopping stranger grabbing DD's hand

[Pixiedusty]

We were out at a nice restaurant. One of the servers decided he needed to interact with my toddler DD. She did not want to give him a high 5. He then grabbed her hand to show her how to type on the ipad where they took orders. She didn't pull her hand away but I could see in her face that she didn't want to be doing this. I was mortified but didn't know how to react. DH also didn't say anything which I'm also annoyed with him about (afterwards).

She wasn't upset about it afterwards and when we left he tried to get a high 5 from her again which she did. But now I'm lying awake at 1am thinking how could I have failed to intervened on behalf of my child when I could've so easily done so?

This very thing happened to me recently, except I was the mum and DS was the scowler. Either this is very common or we’ve met before 😄

OP, I do think you’re overthinking it, but I also understand as this is exactly the sort of thing that I would keep myself awake over. You felt as if you weren’t standing up for your DD’s boundaries (which were clearly visible to you because, as her mum, you recognised her reaction). But it really is true what PPs have said - you didn’t react because you didn’t sense danger. Your worry wasn’t based on the immediate threat but what message you felt you were sending DD, which really you can’t even be certain of. Like you said, she probably won’t even remember it - not every situation that stands out to us will stand out to our children. Give yourself a break.

But you don't need to protect your children from all the tiny things. It's the big things that matter.

I stopped visiting this thread for a while as there were some comments which were really unhelpful and just mean. Thank you everyone who had helpful things to say 🙏