Birthday meal invitation

[Nonsense10]

We have all been invited to a birthday meal out. Usually I would always make an effort despite the lack of effort of inclusion at other times from my OH's family.

However, it is at a restaurant that only sells one type of food which none of us like so declined going. Just stated we had plans already (invitation was short notice too). The restaurant also has very poor reviews.

OH has been receiving messages from his parents and siblings that we should be changing our plans.

Are we being unreasonable not to attend? The place charges per person at the table so we couldn't even just go for a drink.

Have you got any updates on this OP?
Did you reply and tell them sorry, you’ve made plans?

I told them we couldn't attend as we already had plans. OH is ignoring them

@Nonsense10Then why all the tedious secrecy? “My in-laws, who know we’re vegetarian, have organized a birthday lunch at Hawksmoor. Would we be unreasonable to decline because there is nothing on the menu we can eat?”
All of Mumsnet, (apart from the few loons who always say “You should eat meat to be polite-it won’t hurt you just this once”) “Of course you’re being reasonable- and make sure you explain why. They’ve either forgotten-although strange to forget that your own son is a vegetarian-, or they are dickheads.”

There are non vegetarian options available. We just don't like the cuisine. Me being vegetarian had absolutely nothing to do with it so it wasn't necessary to mention it 🤷‍♀️ no tedious secrecy.

If you already have plans then thats that, they type/quality of food is irrelevant

Is there really nothing on the menu you would eat? I recently went to a family meal where what I could eat was limited as I had a temporarily restricted diet but I went because it's my family member I wanted to celebrate with.

You just don't want to go which is fair enough but the excuses make you sound like hard work.

Fuck them then.

There is no menu. It's a buffet, all you can eat, one type of cuisine with limited options. You can't order anything. On top of that, very poor reviews with people saying they've been very poorly after eating there recently.

There is no "excuse". We have plans. Yes we could change them, but we also don't like the food.

I think that sounds perfectly reasonable. Just stay firm that you already have plans. Go for a day out if you have to!

Have people really never heard of a Chinese all you can eat buffet?

Yes. What I haven’t heard of is an entire family of 4 (I think) who don’t like any Chinese food at all. Or anyone who thinks a Chinese restaurant is “outing”.

I think OP has been clear in that they are invited to some stuff but not most things.

I think OP has also been clear that they do not want to go making the original AIBU redundant.

There are people you are close to that you would say sod it I will go just to be with you. These are not those people. And it’s OH’s family and he is not bothered at all.

It is what it is. They can feel upset you’re not going but you don’t have to go. You just have to accept that they might feel like that. I would probably say it as “so sorry we can’t come this time” so you might still get future invites (if you want them).

Weird, I know a few people who don’t like any of the Chinese dishes they’ve tried, several who don’t like rice/noodles. I know many many children who only ate very plain diets when they were young.

I wouldn’t pay for a Chinese buffet with bad reviews and reports of it being luke warm and I definitely wouldn’t allow my children to.

Having other plans is a reason, not an excuse.

This level of pettiness is what's ruining Mumsnet. Why on earth does it matter? Posts like this are ridiculous and exhausting.

I was happy to go and happy to change plans, until they announced where they were going 🤷‍♀️

I was polite in my response and said hopefully next time

How is it petty trying to clarify what OP meant?