New partner room sharing with teenage step kids on holiday?

[GreatFatball]

Background…

Close friend has been in a relationship with her partner since last summer. There was an overlap with her and his (nearly) ex-wife, but the ex doesn’t know this and they’d been together for the kids only for many years. They have 2 children together friend has none. As you can imagine the ex wasn’t too happy that her husband had “moved on” so quickly and has been quite difficult with divorce/child contact etc.

My friend has been well accepted by her partners family and in November they invited her to a 2 week family holiday to Disneyland for this coming autumn. Holiday would be her partners parents, siblings and their children as well as his children.

His ex was not happy learning this had been booked and sent a message questioning the sleeping arrangements stating it would be inappropriate for my friend and her partner to be sharing a room with his teenage kids.

I assumed separate rooms would have been booked but apparently not due to price… so they are room sharing with his 11 year old daughter and 16 year old son for 2 weeks! Friend thinks ex is just being difficult like she is with everything else but I can kind of see her point on this one…

Am I being unreasonable to agree with the ex that this set up is inappropriate? If not how do I communicate this to my friend or should I just not get involved!!

edit to add - partners parents are paying for all flights - then friend and her partner are paying for room/tickets/dining plan etc. I would assume he is paying more than her due to the kids but she is definitely contributing her part. She’s said it would be an extra 4k to add additional rooms for the children to share separately to them so it’s purely financial reasons why they didn’t opt to do it

Who is paying for the holiday?
Can your friend afford her own room?

i’ve added details to clarify re money :)

So, in a nutshell, bloke has an affair, tells the ‘other woman’ that he and his wife are only together because of the kids, leaves his wife (or she throws him out) and now his girlfriend is expected to share a bedroom with his 16 year old son on holiday?
Thats all kinds of inappropriate. How awkward for the 16 year old, how embarrassing for both teens to see their dad sleeping with his girlfriend. Grim.

I think it would be inappropriate yes and quite uncomfortable for the kids. I can definitely understand their mums POV but perhaps more context is needed though.

Has she met the DC yet? If so how is their relationship so far? How do the kids feel about this set up?

2 weeks is a long time to share a small amount of personal space with someone who is essentially a stranger/short term girlfriend of their dad.

Is it Disney Paris? Where the rooms have 2 double beds typically? Are the brother and sister expected to share a bed at that age?

Your friend is stupid for going along on this trip - why would she want to share a room with a 16 year-old boy, never mind the general overcrowding of two teens and two adults sharing a room for two weeks!

And regarding whether or not to say something to your friend… how have you handled this so far? Have you been telling her she’s a moron for being the other woman and stupid for believing this guy? If so be honest it’s inappropriate. If you’re going along with her and saying it’s all fine then I guess it’d be harder to say something about this holiday.

"If not how do I communicate this to my friend or should I just not get involved!!"

That. It's not your business. Unless your friend has specifically asked you for your input?

This is not an acceptable sleeping arrangement.

Weird af

I agree. It’s not like she has to go.

The whole thing sounds absolutely awful.

Appropriate wise, it’s probably manageable. Lots of getting changed in the bathroom and being properly dressed at all times but personally I’d pay four grand not to go.

"Together for the kids only for many years".
Yes I'm sure that's what he likes to say.
If she's happy to be with a man when he's still married it doesn't sound like she's going to have any issues with things like appropriate hotel room allocations. You may as well stay out of it, as it doesn't seem like she's open to any sensible advice anyway.

they are room sharing with his 11 year old daughter and 16 year old son for 2 weeks! Friend thinks ex is just being difficult like she is with everything else but I can kind of see her point on this one…

This is appalling. No way on earth should a couple of kids be sharing with their dad and his girlfriend, especially not at the age of 11 and 16.

I cannot believe your friend thinks it’s OK for her to be sharing a bedroom, under any circumstances, with a 16-year-old boy. What the hell is wrong with her?

Just me thinking that OP is actually the ‘friend’

Or a relation of the boyfriend.

This is all kinds of wrong. Those poor kids! I would not be happy about this either. I'm sure the kids will have realised that he was cheating on their mum with this woman as well. As someone else said......GRIM.

I'm just going to run away screaming here.

Nooooooooooooooooooo😟

It's none of your concern but would you not rather have better friends than some mistress?
Hopefully someone has the kids best interests centred and they haven't yet been made to meet their father's current lover.

Oh my goodness, what a ridiculous plan!

My Dad brought his girlfriend along on a holiday when I was a teen...but he at least had the decency to book her into a different hotel! That was awkward enough.

If new girlfriend must tag along, she needs a separate room, or cheaper hotel if she must. It sounds to me like they are staying in a Disney hotel...which are small and as others have said, usually just two queen size beds. If they keep her name on the original booking she will still be able to keep the 'perks' and use the hotel pool etc. even if staying elsewhere.

Eww! Those poor kids having to share a room with their dad and some random woman. Totally inappropriate.

And at their ages it's inappropriate to be sharing with each other too.

I would think if they haven't already kicked off about it, they very soon will do.

If you have teens you have to suck up the cost of an extra room. It is inappropriate in my opinion.