Leaving Teenagers all on their own

[Annabel12134]

Please I need advice and be kind with your words.
AIBU to leave teenagers (15 upwards) on their own without no parents at home for 5 months now to take up a job 500 miles from home.

A relative was supposed to stay with them in my absence but it didn't work out.

My mind has not been at peace with leaving them all on their own but at the same time I have no savings and financial help. The job market is brutal now, i’m scared of not finding a job if I should quit and go back home but at the same time I am scared that there is no parental guidance for the kids and its dangerous leaving them on their own. I am very confused, one mind says I should quit and go look after my children and the other mind says what if I don't find a job in our area what would we all feed on. WHAT SHOULD I DO? All advice is appreciated.

It's difficult to see how this is appropriate.

How many teenagers aged 15 and upwards? Do they get on? Are the older ones willing and capable of taking charge?

What happens in five months? How available are you when you're away? How often will you go home to them?

How old is the oldest child and are they happy to take on a position of parental responsibility? What would happen if your youngest needed medical treatment that needed parental permission?

I couldn't do it. So far and for so long. 15 is still a child. That's so difficult for you but I don't think that would work.

No, you cannot do this. I thought you were going to say something like for a weekend. Five months is far too long.

I would not willingly leave a school aged teen without everyday parental guidance and support, no matter how self-sufficient they make themselves out to be. At 15 they need someone adult to rely on and have their backs. Even if older siblings are around, I wouldn't be happy to do this for more than a week at a time.

Based on the detail here, absolutely not.

How many teenagers?
What ages?
what sexes?

Are they working? At school?

If they are all at school, I can’t see anyway that this wouldn’t be raised as a safeguarding issue.

Absolutely not.

I think they should come with you if they are under 16. You can't leave a 15 year old without a parent.

Sorry, no, not at 15. 99% of the time, it's when something goes wrong that they will need an adult.

Eek I thought you would be talking about a week away! Which would be fine. But 5 months, no. And I’m pretty relaxed. A 15 year old will still need parental support in many ways.

Take them with you
but no, you cannot do this for 5 months

No, you can't do this. Its very risky, and youd be leaving your children open to exploitation by all sorts of people. Why can't you take them with you?

No.

We need to know actual ages. If something happend to them or they told the school that they are home alone for 5 months it could be reported to social services and come under neglect.

What happend with the person who was staying with them?

Can you come back and claim uc for you and the children whilst you get back on your feet? It may not feel ideal but people do manage. And its better than leaving the kids alone

I thought this would be a week, two weeks at a real push. Five months? No way.

I absolutely wouldn't do this. I'm sorry you've been let down, but 5 months is far too long at 15.

No it obviously isn't ok to leave them for 5 months! They will be open for all sorts of exploitation. And children that age are not always good at making the right choices or looking after themselves.
I can't believe you need to ask that
If you can't take them with you and you have no family to care for them you have no choices but to turn the job down .

I think you’ll be risking social services involvement by leaving minor children to live alone for months on end. Even more pressing is the fact that children need their parent(s)’ presence whilst they’re growing up and they’re likely going to feel neglected if not abandoned, contributing to a worse relationship between you and them. You should definitely not do this.

Are you really asking if you can leave a 15 year old on their own for 5 months?! Or have I misunderstood? If not, sorry but that's completely crazy! Absolutely not.

Absolutely not! Far too long!

And if the high school found out I am pretty sure they would refer this to social services. (I hope they would, it's neglect)
5 months is nearly half a year of the child coping on their own.
They probably wouldn't bother to cook or even go too school.
Plus emotions are hard at that age just having an adult when things go wrong is important.

Definitely not.
Overnight or at a push a weekend would be ok ,but for 5 months I would absolutely not have left my DC on their own at that age even though they were very sensible .

That's neglect

I'm reading this with interest. My own parents moved out of the family home when I was 14 (nearly 15) and I was trafficked by a family friend at 15. On the surface, I grew up in a nice respectable family. I was a pretty competent child and everyone thought I was completely fine looking after myself. But you really are still a child at that age and need support from time to time. That feeling of invisibility from this time has stayed with me for life.

no you can’t leave your 15 year old for 5 months while you’re in another country

Either take them with you or find a job nearer home.

I'd find a job nearer home. If you're employable there, you're employable here.