Leaving Teenagers all on their own

[Annabel12134]

Please I need advice and be kind with your words.
AIBU to leave teenagers (15 upwards) on their own without no parents at home for 5 months now to take up a job 500 miles from home.

A relative was supposed to stay with them in my absence but it didn't work out.

My mind has not been at peace with leaving them all on their own but at the same time I have no savings and financial help. The job market is brutal now, i’m scared of not finding a job if I should quit and go back home but at the same time I am scared that there is no parental guidance for the kids and its dangerous leaving them on their own. I am very confused, one mind says I should quit and go look after my children and the other mind says what if I don't find a job in our area what would we all feed on. WHAT SHOULD I DO? All advice is appreciated.

if I should quit and go back home

Are you already abroad? Who is with your children now?

I’m afraid I’m with them. I left mine for 3 days recently- their Dad lives close by, and even that was not great.

Would you be able to get home every weekend?

5 months?!?

Surely this can't be real?

Obviously you can't do that!

Absolutely not. You can't leave a 15 year old with no parental figure for months. An older sibling may be able to make sure there is food in and clean clothes but they can't parent.

No of course you can’t. You will have to get a different job.

Of course not.

No, it is neglectful. Teenagers still need their parents.
A weekend would be fine

5 MONTHS??
No. From the limited information you have given it sounds completely inappropriate.

So a relative has been staying with them but that hasn’t worked out. You are employed 500 miles away. Currently they are at home without supervision.

Im sorry but I agree with previous posters. You need to resign and get back. The 15 year must be either sitting GCSEs this summer or studying for them next year. They do need direction and consistency at home.
and then there is the summer holidays.

I feel for you but I don’t think you have a choice unless you can co-opt an alternative suitable guardian.

I’m sure this is illegal.

They're children ffs.

Do you think leaving them to their own devices to study for their GCSEs, a key milestone for them, and hoping for the best, is good parenting?

This has to be a joke post. No one sane would leave their kids alone for 5 months. They would get taken into foster care if social services found out!

I had friends who's parents left them in similar circumstances aged 16. It didn't go well. One house was 24/7 party central, one became extremely isolated and seriously depressed. And that was with people checking in with them regularly.
Can your under 18s move in with a relative? Can them come with you? You have to find an alternative.

No reply from OP - what a surprise. Another bloody wind-up thread.

Your kids would never go to school again. It will become a party house and their boyfriends and girlfriends will be moving in

You cannot seriously be asking this question.

Go home and take care of your children.

Thank you all for your response. I have not been responding because I am emotionally down.

Maybe it's your gut feeling telling you to go home to your children. Your obviously not happy and its probably your mum instincts saying this is not right. You and your kids are better of together. They need you and I think you know that really. Go home.

We really need more information, how many of them, what are their ages, how far away are you, can you travel home for some weekends, can they join you in a couple of months

Do you have a partner/husband? Where is the children’s father?

No definitely not.

How can they? What about school etc?

Well obviously you would need to enrol child on school nearby. It is not going to be easy but is better than leaving them without their parent 500 miles away!

Are you in the UK op?

Joy Horville, is that you?

Depending on the age of the eldest (assuming over 18), a couple of weeks would be fine. Five months, not so much.