AIBU to take child with chicken pox to an outside event today?

[summerlovingvibes]

Husband has one opinion and I have another. WWYD?

Day 5 of chicken pox for oldest child.
I have 2 other younger children with no signs as yet. But neither have had in the past so probably will get it.

Some scabs starting to form but also still some fresh spots.

Today is booked to go to an outside running event (for kids) this afternoon and we have paid £60 total for this with all children. It was booked mainly for the oldest one who loves to run, but the younger ones will also come and enjoy so I had to buy tickets for all. Outside run with parents, refreshments, few little stalls etc.

Unfortunately oldest one knows about event and has been excited all week - told him about it 2 days before CP started so didn't know to withhold the info.

Would you still take him? Planning on going just for the run, will try to avoid being too close to others. Don't know any other children / parents going so not going to be "chit chatting". Won't go to the stalls / mix and mingle. Will do run then leave.

Husband has one opinion and I have another. WWYD?

I used to work with a lovely guy whose face was very disfigured because his mother caught chicken pox while pregnant.

His face was so disfigured no amount of plastic surgery was ever going to fix it.

Please tell your DH it's just not acceptable to risk doing that to another human being.

Make him Google the impact of chicken pox on unborn babies.

What if someone is immunocompromised though?
if you’re saying people with chicken pox can go out, that means those people have to stay in
the infectious person needs to stay in otherwise the vulnerable people can’t risk going out

mine is lifelong, it’s not a temporary thing and if I’m exposed to chicken pox I have to drop work and spend ages faffing about getting to haematology etc etc

Young babies and toddlers aren’t the risk factor. The risk factor is immunocompromised people.

Outside like a hike in the hills or woods where there aren't many other people - fine.

Outside to an event where there are lots of people in close proximity, breathing hard etc - not fine.

You don’t get shingles from chicken pox.

Hence why I said “for most”

I'm well aware for “some” it isn’t.

I was encouraging the OP that most likely once spots have scabbed he’s done and dusted with it. Short term disappointment with a high chance of that being it.

Really wasn’t hard to read the words 🙄

That is not remotely the same 😂

No. It’s shit but you just can’t.

It’s impossible to never have chicken pox, whether that’s via infection or vaccine.

That's extremely selfish of you to even consider taking them.

And those who are immunocompromised? They just stay at home forever or gamble with death?

Agree. I don't know why the misinformation you can only catch it once persists. I've had chicken pox multiple times (several times as a child then several as an adult, and it was only less severe the last two times). DS has had chicken pox twice.

...and people wonder why so many kids are repeatedly off school sick with viruses.

Mine were, pretty sure every town has a pharmacy

I’m very relaxed about most things like this, but I wouldn’t be taking my child to that event.

Really disappointing but maybe one of you could stay home and the other can take the others. The others are probably incubating it though!

But there’s evidence that being around children with chickenpox strengthens your resistance to shingles, in people who have had chickenpox before. So not taking the chickenpox child isn’t to protect people from shingles, it’s to protect vulnerable people from catching chickenpox if they’ve never had it or the vaccine before.

The OP has said that the push to go is coming from her husband. She doesn't think they should.

Won't be replying to individual comments - there's too many and some have been quite rude.
Probably because you didn't go on the NHS website or any other decent medical website (Mayo Clinic) which would explain how dangerous it is to unborn babies, pregnant women themselves, newborns, older people, those undergoing cancer treatment - not just for cancer but automimmune diseases. The list is MASSIVE.

I suggest you read up on other childhood illnesses so you are better prepared as responsible parents. This is why people are giving you "rude" comments. The information is easily accessed and very clear.

I can’t imagine being so selfish and stupid personally.

You don't go out until all spots are scabbed over. I absolutely wouldn't go, there could be pregnant women there who are at risk of catching it and their babies getting fetal hydrops. I wouldnt risk it, it is also hugely uncomfortable with the itching.

OP, stick to your guns and dont let your DP take your kids to this event
Its unfortunate that your oldest has CP, and disappointing/upsetting for you all but he needs to be responsible and not put anyone else at risk.

Normally having CP once confers immunity, however it is possible to be infected a second time, particularly if you were very young at the time of your first CP infection, or had a subclinical/mild response that did not allow protective antibodies to develop. Having CP for a second time is also associated with immunosuppression and immune deficiency

Shingles is a reactivation of the CP virus that lies dormant within the dorsal root ganglia after infection, and can reactivate at any time. Its reactivation is often associated with immune suppression, stress or concurrent illness.

What gets me is how many times parents seem to be aware exactly what the right thing to do is but will say it’s a difficult decision because of the wants of a child. I increasingly find parents are pandering more to the demands of their children even if it could potentially, as here, place others at harm or them into debt due to buying things they actually can’t afford but don’t want to disappoint the child. Not saying children’s needs shouldn’t be considered but I think instead of trying to explain the situation and hold firm against the wall of tears, too many people seemingly don’t want to anger their children. I’ve had past relationships where I’ve been gob smacked how many men are scared of alienating their kids if they don’t attend their every whim!

If my immunocompromised son came within a few metres of active pox he would need to take oral antivirals for two weeks. If they caught chicken pox it would be minimum two weeks in hospital on IV antivirals, if they were lucky. Please have a duvet day instead.

For me, it wouldn't be a cost issue.

This is only anecdotal and one child, but it would be enough to put me off having the chickenpox vaccination.

My godson was in hospital after an accident and the little girl in the bed next to him was in there because she had had the chickenpox vaccination, when she was exposed to chickenpox she had still picked it up and it had gone internal and still external because her body was fighting off it going external due to the vaccination. Her mum was distraught., obviously, but she was a nurse herself and had felt strongly that she was doing the right thing getting her vaccinated. The people we taught lost all the use of her limbs and whatever speech she had had she went from an act of little girl. To a little girl who was basically bedridden.

How common that is, I don't know, but I was definitely enoughto put me off getting the chickenpox

Bit strong! I read your words as most people will get it mildly, and you only get it once.

Not most people only get it once and only get it mildly.

that is incredibly rare and is definitely not a risk that people need to be concerned about.