Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take child with chicken pox to an outside event today?

474 replies

summerlovingvibes · 12/04/2025 10:15

Husband has one opinion and I have another. WWYD?

Day 5 of chicken pox for oldest child.
I have 2 other younger children with no signs as yet. But neither have had in the past so probably will get it.

Some scabs starting to form but also still some fresh spots.

Today is booked to go to an outside running event (for kids) this afternoon and we have paid £60 total for this with all children. It was booked mainly for the oldest one who loves to run, but the younger ones will also come and enjoy so I had to buy tickets for all. Outside run with parents, refreshments, few little stalls etc.

Unfortunately oldest one knows about event and has been excited all week - told him about it 2 days before CP started so didn't know to withhold the info.

Would you still take him? Planning on going just for the run, will try to avoid being too close to others. Don't know any other children / parents going so not going to be "chit chatting". Won't go to the stalls / mix and mingle. Will do run then leave.

Husband has one opinion and I have another. WWYD?

OP posts:
FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:29

Shouldbedoing · 12/04/2025 10:27

We don't routinely vaccinate for chickenpox in the UK

Show quote history

We should do. My children are half Spanish and their grandad is a doctor. He is amazed it's not offered routinely in the UK.

Dramatic · 12/04/2025 10:29

InWalksBarberalla · 12/04/2025 10:23

Yeah but once you've had chicken pox it means you are at danger of having shingles later. If you don't ever get chicken pox you can't get shingles.

Show quote history

Yes but over 90% of people will get chicken pox anyway. Not saying op should go because of course you shouldn't with an actively poorly child but almost everyone gets chicken pox.

nonmerci99 · 12/04/2025 10:29

FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:28

Yeah, I thought it was a price worth paying for my two. I think it was £150 each. It's not a surprise cost, so it's something you can save for from when you're trying to get pregnant, if money is an issue.

Show quote history

Not everyone can afford it or justifies the cost. I think it’s very presumptuous to suggest parents of multiple children should be paying for the chickenpox vaccine as a matter of course.

To the OP, you cannot take a child with chicken pox to any event.

Dramatic · 12/04/2025 10:30

FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:29

We should do. My children are half Spanish and their grandad is a doctor. He is amazed it's not offered routinely in the UK.

Show quote history

I've heard it's being recommended now so might be in place within a few years

TickTockPolly · 12/04/2025 10:30

Given that everyone needs to either catch Chicken Pox or be vaccinated at some point in their lives and that either (generally) provides lifelong immunity then I think the convention of keeping infected children at home is stupid. But given that it is convention then people will judge you so I wouldn’t go.

pizzaHeart · 12/04/2025 10:31

no you can’t take your oldest child to this event and maybe it makes sense not to take youngest as well especially as the oldest is more keen. Aldo it’s a great lesson for kids that sometimes we can be unwell and it affects our plans. Nothing unusual about that.

Can you call to organisers and ask for a refund, at least partially?

Flybee · 12/04/2025 10:31

summerlovingvibes · 12/04/2025 10:28

Thanks everyone, I will relay all these opinions and lovely language to my DH to show how strongly people feel.

Won't be replying to individual comments - there's too many and some have been quite rude. I never said this was my opinion, I asked what would you do.

So there's been enough answers for me to show DH it's not just me thinking we shouldn't go.

Don't worry, OP. I think most people were aware that it was your DH's view, not yours.

Tinklyclock · 12/04/2025 10:32

FuckedOverByBuilder · 12/04/2025 10:24

As someone with a Transplant, please please please please please don’t go

several years ago, I took my son to an outdoor picnic party for another child. Unknowingly one of the other children had chickenpox and the mother had bought them thinking outside would be fine. His spots were on his body and not really noticeable so I spent some time around him. The next day I started to come out in the shingles it was that quick. This spread all over my face and I still have desensitisation around my eye, scarring in my cornea, which meant I needed glasses afterwards and scarring on my forehead. I’ve also never felt more ill.

I know there is only the rarest of chances there might be someone there immune compromised but you just never know and for that person it can be life changing please please don’t do it

You can't catch shingles from chicken pox. However nobody should be exposing others to chicken pox by mixing in public.
You can catch CP from someine with shingles.
You could have caught Cp though which would have been very dangerous for you.
Being immunosuppressed is so tiresome.

FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:32

nonmerci99 · 12/04/2025 10:29

Not everyone can afford it or justifies the cost. I think it’s very presumptuous to suggest parents of multiple children should be paying for the chickenpox vaccine as a matter of course.

To the OP, you cannot take a child with chicken pox to any event.

Edited
Show quote history

Not presumptuous.
It's just a matter of priorities. People's are different.

WhatMe123 · 12/04/2025 10:32

You can't really as it can be dangerous for certain people, people on chemo, pregnant women etc

CautiousLurker01 · 12/04/2025 10:33

Absolutely unreasonable given there will likely new newborns, pregnant women and possible persons with compromised immune systems. Beyond selfish to put other people at risk when you DC has an active case.

But you know that, don’t you?

Weirdaf1 · 12/04/2025 10:33

Lemons1571 · 12/04/2025 10:22

I’ll be the one to go against the flow here. If you are able to distance from people and stand as a group well away from any spectators, then I can’t see who could catch it in an outside environment.

i did the school run with a poxy child in the buggy with a rain cover on. Didn’t have any choice, as no one to do it for me. No village here unfortunately. So we left the house because we had to.

i suppose the issue starts when someone needs the loo etc…

Surely that's such a different scenario itisn't really relevant.
The OPs child has chicken pox, still infectious of course he shouldn't attend an event.

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 12/04/2025 10:33

FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:17

Too late now, but why didn't you get them vaccinated?

Chicken pox can be dangerous for some people, as I'm sure you know. I don't know if being outside is any kind of mitigating factor? If it's not, and there's a chance they could pass it on, I wouldn't go.

Exactly this, why do people fail to vaccinate their kids for chicken pox? It's cheap, effective and saves a lot of unnecessary suffering.

PrimoPiatti · 12/04/2025 10:34

That would be dangerous and irresponsible, what are you thinking....?

Herewegoagain84 · 12/04/2025 10:37

My god there are some selfish people out there! You know the answer - why are you hoping people will absolve you of guilt? It’s resounding, but no doubt you’ll still do what you want.

ByCoralDreamer · 12/04/2025 10:37

The closest we have come to your child getting chickenpox before an event was when our youngest got chickenpox a few days before a holiday abroad. We were treating it like mad, in the hope it would be completely scabbed over in time. However, the day before the flight there were 2 active spots that hadn't scabbed over, so we made the hard decision to not go away.
Telling the children that we would not be going was awful, but we did it because it was the responsible thing to do. There were so many tears shed but we knew it was the right thing to do. Anyone around us could have been severely impacted had we chose to take the flight. The active spots were on the back so could have been easily hidden. We told the children that there would be another holiday, just like your children will have another event to go to.
Sometimes, we make plans that get thrown in the air because you have to consider other people around you. Make the right choice. We did because we didn't want our sick child to potentially severely impact someone else. Our conscience is clear. Our child got better. We went on another holiday and we didn't impact anyone else with a highly contagious illness.

InWalksBarberalla · 12/04/2025 10:38

Dramatic · 12/04/2025 10:29

Yes but over 90% of people will get chicken pox anyway. Not saying op should go because of course you shouldn't with an actively poorly child but almost everyone gets chicken pox.

Show quote history

90%- really!! That's crazy. It's a notifiable disease where I live and I don't can't remember hearing about anyone having it since I was a kid.

itsgettingweird · 12/04/2025 10:39

I’m glad you aren’t planning on going. Or at least taking oldest.

CP sucks but good news is for most it’s mild and they only get it once.

Violetmouse · 12/04/2025 10:41

I have a daughter who needed chemotherapy for cancer when she was 5. Chicken pox for her could have been fatal. Could also have resulted in delaying treatment - which would have worsened her prognosis too.

Please don't take infectious kids out.

iwanttohide · 12/04/2025 10:42

When I was pregnant with my DC2, we went to meet my friend and her DD in the park. Our girls spent couple of hours running around, and the next day my friend rang to tell me that her daughter came up with chicken pox spots all over her that morning. My daughter caught it, too, and I ended in hospital in isolation for a week.
It’s dangerous for other people. Your younger children are probably active carriers now. Don’t be selfish.

Londontown12 · 12/04/2025 10:43

Dangerous for pregnant people as well !

TickTockPolly · 12/04/2025 10:43

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 12/04/2025 10:33

Exactly this, why do people fail to vaccinate their kids for chicken pox? It's cheap, effective and saves a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Show quote history

I am very pro the vaccine, got it for my children and recommended it to many others. But I can still understand why not everyone does. Lack of affordability is the main one. And lack of awareness of its existence, insufficient understanding of the benefits or how to arrange it. Not everyone has our means.

monkeysox · 12/04/2025 10:43

Sirzy · 12/04/2025 10:17

You don’t go. I don’t see why it’s up for discussion

This

Delphiniumandlupins · 12/04/2025 10:44

FrodisCapering · 12/04/2025 10:28

Yeah, I thought it was a price worth paying for my two. I think it was £150 each. It's not a surprise cost, so it's something you can save for from when you're trying to get pregnant, if money is an issue.

Show quote history

The people I know who have vaccinated for chicken pox weighed the cost against having to take annual or unpaid leave for possibly two weeks.

OP all three children are likely infectious. It would be very irresponsible for any of you to go. Hope you and DH had it as kids.

ilovesooty · 12/04/2025 10:45

Lemons1571 · 12/04/2025 10:22

I’ll be the one to go against the flow here. If you are able to distance from people and stand as a group well away from any spectators, then I can’t see who could catch it in an outside environment.

i did the school run with a poxy child in the buggy with a rain cover on. Didn’t have any choice, as no one to do it for me. No village here unfortunately. So we left the house because we had to.

i suppose the issue starts when someone needs the loo etc…

That was a necessary activity. This is an optional one.