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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

478 replies

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 07:40

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

OP posts:
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Gwenhwyfar · 12/04/2025 09:31

With Molly Campsie, I don't think it's the styling tips. I think she's just tall and beautiful so she looks good in most clothes. The styling is only a tiny part of it.

noquinoa · 12/04/2025 09:31

isthismylifenow · 12/04/2025 08:14

There have been so many posts on here over the years about how proud people are that they don't iron, and no-one can tell. Or no-one cares etc.

But it is very noticeable to me, and it can make or break an outfit imo.

It is just the final touch to looking polished.

Yes to this. And also so many posts about how it doesn’t matter washing whites and colours together, noone can see a difference anyway. Eh, yeah we can!

polkaloca · 12/04/2025 09:32

Proportions help hugely so you can be small & not particularly slim but if perfectly proportioned you will look good. Being tall and slim helps but again if your proportions are off the what you wear matters. And then some people just have that knack of looking effortless, it's quite rare though.

McCheck · 12/04/2025 09:32

Does she wear earrings? A pair of studs can pull it together. And good eyebrows.

OhHellolittleone · 12/04/2025 09:33

I feel you. I’ve bought jeans (not a big wearer usually), plain ts and plain jumpers with the idea that I’d look ‘weekend effortless’ but I just look like I shouldn’t even open the door to the postman. I think accessories help - an expensive bag and gold jewellery on top of a plain outfit can help. And nice hair/ skin … I just end up looking fat. Which is a shame as I’ve seen plenty of girls my size looking good - I think it’s proportions, my weight hangs on my lower belly (Wah, babies and genes!) and bum so I just look wide in jeans.

Gwenhwyfar · 12/04/2025 09:34

noquinoa · 12/04/2025 09:31

Yes to this. And also so many posts about how it doesn’t matter washing whites and colours together, noone can see a difference anyway. Eh, yeah we can!

Did you see my post above? I iron everything except underwear and I still look wrong. Ironing is not the biggest part of it. Also, I iron because I quite like it. If I didn't, I'd probably only iron a few shirts and leave the jeans as it makes very little difference anyway.

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 09:34

McCheck · 12/04/2025 09:32

Does she wear earrings? A pair of studs can pull it together. And good eyebrows.

Yes, simple studs always!

OP posts:
polkaloca · 12/04/2025 09:36

With Molly Campsie, I don't think it's the styling tips. I think she's just tall and beautiful so she looks good in most clothes. The styling is only a tiny part of it.

I don't know who she is but googling her she is just dressing in that generic classic style. She has good hair and expensive accessories but doesn't look particularly effortless to me.

Watermill · 12/04/2025 09:37

I iron everything and still look like a jumble sale.

I blame my H cup chest. It’s very hard to look chic with boobs that size.

polkaloca · 12/04/2025 09:39

Ironing is not the biggest part of it.

Agree, one of the most stylish women I know is an older French relative in her 70s. She doesn't really iron much & can be in the garden in messy clothes but she will still look chic. She can clip her hair up in seconds and it looks good whereas mine just doesn't do that.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/04/2025 09:40

If you are tall and slim and have a ‘good face’ and decent hair, to be honest you can look good in a bin bag- I’ve got a friend like this - the only thing that doesn’t suit her is what I would call more ‘low cut ‘ styles that look best if you’ve got something to ‘fill it out’

honeylulu · 12/04/2025 09:41

There's some really useful tips on this thread. I'm not naturally stylish and look scruffy a lot of the time. I wear all black almost have helps slightly as everything matches and it's "classic".

I also think some people just have a natural knack of putting an outfit/ look together. A couple of people I've worked with were like that and I asked where they got their clothes from as I was convinced they must spend a fortune but it was usually a mix of well made distinctive looking stuff from vinted and plainer type stuff from Primark. They both always wore their hair up (very neat high ponytail or up do) which added to the "polish". Maybe that's another style trick if you don't have naturally glossy, swishy hair.

Bellshellss · 12/04/2025 09:41

I always look a state, no matter what I’m in.

I was bridesmaid once where the bride spent a fucking fortune on designer dresses and I still looked like I’d slept on a park bench in it.

EdithBond · 12/04/2025 09:44

The key is finding your own style. What suits you and you feel good in. Clothes that are well cut. What looks good on one person will look awful on another. This is where people often go wrong. They see clothes on someone they know, a model or mannequin and love the look, but it won’t necessarily suit them, due to shape, colouring, personality etc.

A good tip is find a person in the public eye who has a similar shape and colouring to you. Then look at what they wear and replicate that. Not necessarily exactly, but as a guide. They’ll likely have a stylist for some occasions, so you’re basically nicking the stylist’s advice for free!

I get basics from really cheap stores, e.g, Primark. Their cotton t-shirts (£4 ones rather than £2) keep their shape very well. I always wear skinny black jeans and they usually look good wherever you get them. I’ve tried more expensive places (when I had money) and it didn’t make much difference. Over half my stuff is second hand.

Also agree about ironing. I store stuff unironed. But press everything just before I wear it. T-shirts, jeans, the lot. Always inside out. I wash stuff inside out too and line dry. It stops it fading and is better for the fabric. Try to buy natural fabrics (cotton, linen, wool), as they always look and last better. Good undies are a must as they determine how things hang on you.

Finally, I don’t buy much and rarely get rid of clothes. I’m late 50s and still wearing stuff from my 20s. Not trousers as I’m not that skinny any more! Plus, occasionally wear my nan’s 1930s shoes and an early 80s new wave dress of my mum’s. Other than really faddy things, most stuff never goes ‘out of fashion’ (e.g. striped Breton tops, black and white dots, black leather jackets etc.)

pelargoniums · 12/04/2025 09:46

• Ironing
• Good healthy skin, hair and nails
• Washing & drying & generally taking care of clothes properly – bright whites, dark darks, removing pills from woollens, repairing buttons lost etc
• Fit of clothes – what suits your proportions, but also not wearing too-tight stuff and hoping you’ll slim down into it, or hanging on to your comfortable maternity jeans so you can eat a big lunch (guilty)
• No yoghurt spills from small children, no ladders in tights, no scuffs on shoes

Issa lot of effort which is why I don’t bother: sometimes I try, but invariably the moths and the toddlers undermine my work within days…

polkaloca · 12/04/2025 09:46

No!! Being tall makes it very difficult to find clothes that are actually long enough, and fit properly... or even wear women's shoes

I'm tall ish (5 ft 9) and like having long legs. I'm a size 6 shoe but lots of shops do 9s.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/04/2025 09:46

Does she have a fairly small bust? I'm quite slim but with massive norks and all my clothes just seem to hang over them and then straight down, making me look as though I have absolutely no shape at all (I have a really small waist, dammit!) It has the effect of whatever I put on looking like a sack. I envy those who can wear fitted clothes that fit them all over, rather than having to 'buy for the boobs' and accept that my top half is going to look like a beach ball.

TheStigarette · 12/04/2025 09:50

Its the quality of the fabric too. Was it cashmere? Expensive jeans?

BlumminFreezin · 12/04/2025 09:51

I don't think it's much to do with the specific clothes tbh.

The only thing the clothes need to be is clean, unrumpled and well fitting. Whether it's a ball gown, a designer business suit or primark joggers.

That sense and appearance of put togetherness comes from the rest of you - clean, glossy hair, nice skin, good makeup (or no makeup...just not too much or poorly applied), a slim figure, a great posture.

Shaggyinkcap · 12/04/2025 09:51

Oh my goodness I’m so glad to have stumbled upon this thread, I’ve been having the exact same thoughts/dilemma/existential crisis. I had a colleague until very recently who is exactly the same - mid-50s and always looks so put together and clean - and not even very boring “classic understated french” either, she wears some quite trendy things but never looks like she’s trying too hard or trying to be young. Again though, she is very petite and has money.

I had to laugh at all the early commenters asking “is she tall?” I am 5’11” and an hourglass 12-14 which on paper sounds grand but nothing. ever. fits. Even if you manage to find a garment that’s long enough, there’s never enough room in the shoulders, or the waist sits too high making every dress an empire line, and you end up looking really scruffy as a result. And don’t even talk to me about shoes.

I have just started a new job in a more creative sector and I want to reinvent myself a bit (away from the comfy jersey dresses and cardigans I’ve slipped into), this thread is inspiring me to spend the weekend going through my wardrobe (and sorting my nails and eyebrows!).

wizzywig · 12/04/2025 09:52

Some people just know what suits them and that's not me.

TheseCalmSeas · 12/04/2025 09:53

Can you link the Next set please OP? Sounds fab!

ParrotsAteThemAll · 12/04/2025 09:53

Knowing what colours suit you is a game changer. So many people (myself included) wear too much black and it’s not as flattering as we think. I can’t afford to ‘get my colours done’ but I’m using online tools to put a wardrobe together that doesn’t make me look ill or washed out!

Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 12/04/2025 09:54

Some people are natural scruffs, OP. I'm one. Doesn't matter what I wear, I look like a country bumpkin dressed for a day out in town.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/04/2025 09:59

@BlumminFreezin yep posture is rarely mentioned ( mines awful by the way - I put it down to big boobs ) there’s a woman here in Bath I see around a lot- probably mid 50s - not that slim but reasonably tall, subtle tan, well groomed, great hair, good skin, clearly simple style but good quality - she always looks so effortless but the stand out thing is she has amazing posture and an elegant kind of purposeful but casual walk - if you know what I mean - whereas I always look like like I’m scurrying somewhere with my head down and an assorted mish mash of clothes depending what’s nearest to hand - I’m very jealous!! I do suspect though money comes into it - !!