To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

[Upsetbetty]

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

I work it someone like this. It’s money. Simple
money.

Her husband has his own business and is clearly doing well so she has pots to spend on herself. No primark for this person. I mentioned her husband’s business because she does a very low paid job and looks so much better than almost anyone else at work who all earn a lot more.

She has new clothes all of the time plus she clearly irons them.

I look like a scruffy carthorse next to her!

She is super nice as well.

That's interesting, OP, because my teen daughter always tells me off for putting white long sleeved Ts under everything. (I am always cold.)

I think some people just have the 'polished' gene . I remember working with a friend/colleague years ago. One day we were wearing exactly the same pair of nice 'work' trousers and plain shirt. (Different departments in a very big organisation.) We are the same height; roughly the same weight. She looked lovely, I think I looked tatty/scrawny.

I think she always accessorised with nice jewellery and had lovely golden skin and 'done' hair. My hair is/was always a bit crap, I have not great skin which is also pale. I don't know, I just think it was interesting, the difference with the same clothes.

People watching in St Tropez last year made me come to the conclusion, the more white or cream you wear, the wealthier you clearly are! It’s a sort of uniform.

There were plenty of quietly elegant women (and men) dressed in simple white tailored linen trousers, crisp white shirts, discreet gold jewellery, understated designer sunglasses and those Lady Dior black handbags with the D.I.O.R charms subtly tinkling as they walked by.

Whenever I wear white, it’s inevitable it will only be an hour before I am also wearing tomato ketchup, coffee or soup as a matching accessory.

Everybody who is saying about tall & slim or petite people and those with good figures is correct. There’s an elegance there which makes clothes hang beautifully, and good posture helps too.
Also finding the right fits for you and things which suit your shape is important.
Ironing ? I don’t. But I do shake my clothes vigorously when they come out of the washing machine, dry them hanging perfectly flat and neatly, then fold and store or hang on decent hangers, without crushing in the wardrobe. I’d say most people wouldn’t have a clue I don’t iron !
Quality items is the key if you feel you need a boost further than what your regular clothes give you. They needn’t be super expensive. Good basics from COS, Arket and even H&M’s more premium collection are great core items. Get your foundation garments nailed, then follow through to the rest of your outfit. These items will look more expensive due to the fabric compositions and styling detail.
Avoid cheaper clothes with synthetic fibres, they look cheap and will not wash & wear so well. Unfortunately so many stores still thrash out tons of fast fashion polyester rubbish !
Accessories can make or break your outfit, even if the rest is perfect, so invest in a few classics.
Finally, it’s the hair and make up. Keep it clean and simple, it doesn’t need to be OTT, just nicely done.
Once you start you will soon find your new style - it’s ok to take tips and ideas from others, IRL and online, who you inspire you - you will soon learn to make it your own and everyone will be coming to you for help ! Have fun with it most importantly, if you feel confident you will look great !

I have spent all morning trying on all my clothes thanks to this thread!

I had a breast reduction last year (went from a 32HH to a 32DD) and now need to find a new style as before I was dressing to hide my matronly bosom.

What are describing is a big fashion look right now (the white collar just about showing), so I would assume she has a bigger than average interest in style and fashion.

I probably used to look a little scruffy in my 20s and now I'm probably 'that' person in the office.

What do I do differently now:

• Good slow lifestyle, good health and daily routine, which leads to a healthy weight and skin/hair/ nails on good condition
• Actually care about what I wear and have simple stylish outfits lined up (=not think hard about what to wear, or throw on what is available)
• Read premium fashion magazines but also consider what suits me, not wear trends. So i know where to get the best quality, best fitting clothes from, but I'd still never follow random trends, e.g. the big white sports socks look is a hard NO, I'm not an LA influencer
• Trial and error, e.g. certain brands cater for my body shape, others don't, I stick with what works
• Know about what's out there in beauty, but again, selective. I have treatments that make me super low maintenance on a daily basis, i.e. wake up with great skin and hair, just put some cream and lippy on and good to go. I now have very good products that I've discovered through established beauty writers, anything India Knight praises is gospel
• Clean and well-groomed at all times
• As others have said, CONFIDENCE. And HAPPINESS

Takes me about 10 mins to be ready and out the door after my shower, so it's genuinely effortless.

I love beauty and fashion, I don't do it to look good for anyone, I just embrace it, enjoy it, let it entertain me, it's a hobby, basically.

Get stopped by strangers, friends and even beauty professionals what I do/ wear to look the way that I do.

I remember someone writing on social media that 'looking hot is a full-time hobby' and they're not wrong. I know a lot of people in fields where looking in a certain way is a requirement, and there's no way they'd get through a week without a routine that caters to looking good. The 'beautiful people' spend time in salons, gyms, know about fashion etc.

Previously I used to look a mess because I was always running around doing things/ living my life/ being busy, and my health and well-being wasn't the centre of my universe.

It's superficial but I'm the happiest and mentally most balanced I've ever been, and I think the people around me appreciate how I've finally 'put my own oxygen mask on first' and therefore can show up for them better than ever before and be a positive influence.

This! Everything is always the wrong length, sleeves, legs, waistbands and don’t get me started about shoes…

I don't think it's about being slim. I used to work at a lingerie shop, and occasionally had women coming in for a bra fitting as they were 'wearing the wrong size'. They weren't. The bras had stretched over time and were offering no support. Good shapewear can help you look more put together.

Also, there are tricks to make you appear taller and/or more in proportion. I often wear high waist trousers, skirts and shorts in a dark colour, with a lighter top (to draw attention away from my short legs). Wearing a shoe or boot with a heel and then getting slightly longer length trousers can help too. I'm convinced wearing my hair up makes me appear taller😂

Agree, this and good grooming, well fitting clothes / clothes that suit your body type

looking stylish encompasses many things though and is usually learned habit over many years, some people are very good at it and it and some people never get it right even when they try

Haha! I’d last 5 mins in white or cream. I’m a mucky pup. That’s partly why I wear black. Doesn’t show the red wine stains lol.

Maybe that’s why rich people wear that colour, because they’re not always mucking stuff out, change several times a day. And have a maid to get the stains out and do their laundering.

I think being either side of average is tricky with clothes.
I'm.under 5ft and very few petite trousers are short enough for me, it's impossible to get a midi dress, waists are in the wrong place, ditto under bust seams, necklines are often too low, sleeves are too long (which looks messy)
I can wear some kids clothes - eg plain tshirts, occasionally jeans, some sports wear, and get some items altered but it's generally a pain to buy clothes.

why do people come out with this nonsense?
It's a forum for adult women, not disney princesses.

There are lots of people who are happy and comfortable in who they are but that doesn't automatically correlate to being well put together and stylish. Thinking of women like, say, Helaena Bonham Carter or Mary Beard - I would describe their clothing style as (respectively) eccentric/fun/gothic or comfortable/academic - styles that perfectly suit their personalities and look good on them. I would not describe their ensembles as stylish "perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same" which is what OP is asking.

Not everybody would want to wear the look OP is describing, and that's okay! But if they do, telling them to wear the same clothes they currently wear but 'with confidence' will achieve sweet FA.

Anyone can wear clothes they like for a fiver from primark. OP is asking how to achieve a specific look, and, sorry, a scruffy jumper and ill fitting jeans with yesterday's milk spilt on them don't magically transform into haute couture by putting a happy smile on your face.

It's also a wealth signifier for the reasons explained by a PP. Wearing white indicates you don't have to worry about doing dishes, cleaning up after muck children etc, have someone to do your laundry and/or wear brand new clothes all the time. See also polished nails - signals that the person has spare time and doesn't need to (literally!) get their hands dirty.

I would guess that she is not a pear shape as this makes casual elegance pretty impossible.
Ironing does make a difference, boringly, as does decent fabrics. And not spilling your food obviously.
For me there are items that scream a certain kind of chic, striped Breton tops or cotton jumpers, the right shoes etc. These people also know how to wear a scarf to look stylish rather than cold or that someone has tried to strangle you. And if they turn their collar up it looks as if it is meant and stays up all day.
I have just rotated to my better weather clothes but still need layers so am trying out different combinations. And yes I need to look at jumpers and get a couple of long sleeve tees to tone. And possibly a new body😂

@LaurieFairyCake could you link the clothes colour thing please? I’ve tried to find it but it just keeps coming up with the make up! Thank you.

I think it is not always about size though. I am much larger than I want to be, but have a work colleague who is several times larger than me. She is about 5 ft 5 and must easily be a size 24 or more. But she puts everything together so very well. She wears alot of linen, and everything is in the same colour palette when she wears it. So if she is wearing blue for example everything is in a blue palette. White everything is in a white and cream palette. but everything matches - so earrings, rings, bracelets, shoes, accessories-it's all matched. On occasion it is too matchy matchy but generally she gets it right every time. I find it really interesting to see how she puts things together- i very much doubt anything is too expensive- jewellery for example is just plastic beaded things.

She is the same with her house though. She has a storage unit and changes her decor according to season.

I don;'t really have the inclination to do anything like that. But I certainly admire her dedication and commitment.

Good naturally coloured and flatteringly cut hair, good skin/ natural makeup, well shaped eyebrows and clean manicured nails are the essential foundation to looking effortlessly put together before even adding clothes and accessories.

Then the clothes must be well fitted and flattering for your body shape, not be dated, the colours and shape of the clothes must be cohesive, the fabric shouldn’t have lint, fluff rips or visible dirt, and bonus points if the material is good quality rather than synthetic.

What I think sets someone apart from being well groomed to also looking stylish is wearing basics that have a bit of flare (e.g. a classic trench in dark leather fabric, a classic white collared shirt with a zip rather than buttons/ pleats / kimono shaped, a denim maxi skirt with a front split). It’s those little unexpected twists on classic quality pieces that elevate a look and make us wonder why an otherwise simple outfit looks so stylish.

My own personal style icons are Audrey Hepburn (surprise surprise) and Doris Day. I would love to have had their style: neat, simple, well turned out.

No matter how hard I tried though, my hair wouldn’t stay in place, my make up faded, I’d drop something on my top. It’s been a big disappointment in my life 😁

Can anyone post a photo of a white collar just showing..Or am I missing something? 😂 Isn’t that just a certain look that has been forever, I remember it from when I was a teenager.

I’ve lots a lot of weight, changed a lot of things about myself and these are the things I’ve consistently got the most compliments on:

• Getting my teeth whitened - I’ve always had straight teeth, but they were yellow. Smoking, coffee, and genetics. Quit smoking, saved all my ciggie money and got them whitened. People kept complimenting me and they couldn’t put their finger on what I’d done. Genuinely wish I’d done it earlier. If I could go back I’d have had it done as soon as I had a spare bit of money.
• Getting a hair routine that actually works. I’ve got curly hair and it’s quite wild and big. Recently, my niece has been watching a lot of tick toks as she has similar hair, and she told me basically I’ve been doing my hair wrong. Normally I wouldn’t take that from a 16 year old, but her hair looked great so I just took her advice. It’s a lot shinier now and less frizzy, it also lasts for days. That’s probably what I got the most compliments on.
• Changed from black eyeliner to brown.
• Stopped dying my hair and went back to natural colour.
• Getting my eyebrows professionally done - I don’t pay anymore because I can do it myself and maintain the shape she gave me, but this was such a game changer.

It’s weird, but the little changes got more attention than the big ones. Also, I think staying close to your natural colouring does people a lot of favours. Getting your teeth whitened is probably the easiest one imo. Never thought I cared I had yellow teeth until I saw my pearly whites. Also all these things make it easier to just get up and go. Be high maintenance to be low maintenance kind of thing.

Idlikethingtospiralintocontrol

you go through the match 2 me process and then it gives you make up Plus clothes colours when you scroll down

mines has given me 37 primary colours

https://www.whowhatwear.com/fashion/trends/white-t-shirt-under-jumper-trend

I think I look pretty well put together most days and requires v little effort. I gave up wearing makeup apart from concealer last year. I'm a size 10 & have highlights in my hair which helps my appearance massively. I met my dd's friend's mum for the first time & she was dressed very casually but her outfit looked very put together - designer jogging bottoms & trainers, puffa coat & sport socks that came over the bottom of her joggers! I think I'd look a bit of a tit in that but it really suited her. Maybe wearing what really suits you helps?

Another friend is slightly overweight, around 5' 2" but she always looks very well turned out and attractive. Her makeup is always perfect and she usually wears a dress. Again, it compliments her shape. To me she always looks confident in herself

I used to work with a woman like this. She could have made a bin bag look good. I remember walking behind her and another woman who had spent a fortune on her clothes; designer everything, while my colleague was in jeans, trainers and a t shirt, and she just looked so much stylish and put together than the designer woman. Admittedly, she was (is), tall, slim and gorgeous, but the other woman wasn’t exactly a King Edward potato.

I have a Teacher relative that's only 4'10 & petite with great hair,face & posture etc. I've no idea where she buys her clothes but she shines & stands out in a room,just gets noticed.She always wears heels though for special occasions but also wears flats for work,shopping etc.