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Original poster

Friends Boyfriend Is Lazy And A Womaniser

59 replies

CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 01:55

A close friend of mine met a man last November.
He is about 13 years her senior and she is having doubts about him.
He lives on his own in a one bed HA flat.
He doesnt drive he hasnt been in employment since 2002 he doesnt seem to have and skills or formal qualifications.
He has epilepsy but its managed by meds.
He has asked if he can live with her she owns her own home outright a nice 2 bed new build semi.
Im thinking he wants to move in with her then after so long claim he has rights to some of her capital etc.
Also he thinks he is gods gift his best friend said he always had many girlfriends and flings but none owned property or had a career like my friend.
He is 58 in October.
Is it bad to think he is a loser?.
He goes to bars nearly every night too.

OP posts:
DrummingMousWife · 12/04/2025 01:58

She should run like she is on fire and not look back

TheSandgroper · 12/04/2025 02:18

1). Tell her to wake up to herself. Now would be good.

2). Nothing else you can do.

ShouldIEvenBother · 12/04/2025 02:22

A 7 days a week bargoer (presumably he's not sitting in there drinking lemonade), unemployed, who she met in November and he wants to move in... 5 months later to her nice home... of course he does. 😂

Thank the lord she is having doubts.

Justcallmebebes · 12/04/2025 08:31

She'd be a fool, but so would he to give up a HA flat.

Although it doesn't sound as though he has a habit of good decision making

toomuchfaff · 12/04/2025 09:07

DrummingMousWife · 12/04/2025 01:58

She should run like she is on fire and not look back

Nailed it

I'd be asking the friend if there's a reason she's ignoring that he dresses in red flags.

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 09:13

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Potential freeloading cocklodger in the making. If he's not working is he going to be sitting round her place gaming or something all day whilst she's working to pay the mortgage? How much will he be paying towards her bills and how will he pay it - is he on benefits?
She should raise her standards and make sure he doesn't get a key!

MathsMum3 · 12/04/2025 09:30

I can't believe you and your friend are even thinking twice about this. It would be a terrible move on so many levels. Please advise her very strongly against it.

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 13:01

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 09:13

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Potential freeloading cocklodger in the making. If he's not working is he going to be sitting round her place gaming or something all day whilst she's working to pay the mortgage? How much will he be paying towards her bills and how will he pay it - is he on benefits?
She should raise her standards and make sure he doesn't get a key!

She doesnt have a mortgage she owns her home outright has done for five years now.
I dont know how he gets away with not working I thought the government are cracking down on these type of people?.
I asked him why he doesnt work his answer was he is scared of having a fit in public. Horse shit I have a uncle with epilepsy who works for himself part time as a electrician.
I asked what trade he trained for when he left school he said he tried work as a labourer on a building site but it didnt work out.
He tried jobs like office work for the HMRC too but that didnt work either.
He has a daughter he had aged 18 but has never even met her he didnt want children. He has a picture someone gave him of her as a newborn in his flat.
To me he seems really strange. He always dresses in a black suit with a leather tie when he goes out in the evening.
I have met him 3 times.
He has never wanted to live with someone until now.
He is like a throwback to the 70s his attitude towards women.
He known he is getting older and I think thats why he wants my friend younger than him own house good job etc.

OP posts:
AudiobookListener · 12/04/2025 13:10

After reading the title, I thought I might suggest you stay out of your friend's business. Having read the full post I'm now thinking you must spend the weekend barricading her front door.

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:13

May be wrong but I thought you shouldn't drink when taking epilepsy meds? Especially if his epilepsy means he can't drive. Now he's ageing he's looking for a nice young nurse with a purse especially as he's NC with his DD (who is 40ish?) I wonder why else he'd want to give up a HA flat (presumably his benefits pay for his bills etc) and live with your friend. Would it affect his benefits if he moved in with her so she'd have to foot any bills herself?

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 13:27

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:13

May be wrong but I thought you shouldn't drink when taking epilepsy meds? Especially if his epilepsy means he can't drive. Now he's ageing he's looking for a nice young nurse with a purse especially as he's NC with his DD (who is 40ish?) I wonder why else he'd want to give up a HA flat (presumably his benefits pay for his bills etc) and live with your friend. Would it affect his benefits if he moved in with her so she'd have to foot any bills herself?

Edited

He has never drived he doesnt have a licence.
This morning my friend phoned me and said he told her yesterday that she should consider herself lucky he has never wanted a serious relationship with anyone before.
He doesnt even wash his own clothes he takes them to a launderette for a service wash.
His sister washes and dries his bedding once a month she is younger than him by six years.
He has a younger brother (47) who is married with a son who owns his own business he gives him a bit of money every week which he uses for his nightly pub going.
I think he is a tosspot.
My friend did say to me today she doesnt want him moving in her house because he is lazy.
Also he told her he has been asked to attend a job focused interview at his local job center and asked his brother to fund a solicitor if they say he has to come off benefits and get into work.
I am sure he has some kind of autism or spectrum disorder.
He seems incapable of anything useful and a peter pan.
He also thinks he looks like a young Rock Hudson and tries to emulate Sean Connery in his ways.

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 12/04/2025 13:30

He's obviously a non starter but for some reason men like this seem to find women. Like you say he's had many girlfriends.

BCBird · 12/04/2025 13:32

This sounds like freeloading. If a man told me I should think myself lucky he wants to be with me, I'd be tempted to run. Who does he think he is? I would not be letting anybody move in with me under these circumstances

Catchingrays · 12/04/2025 13:34

58? Well he’s not going to change now is he? Your friend knows exactly what she is getting.

She could get stuck with him though if he is prepared to give up his HA flat as he will have nowhere to go if it doesn’t work out.

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 13:35

He’s a useless wanker. I’m his age and I would rather slam my flaps in a car door than touch him with a bargepole so why a woman over a decade younger would find the lazy cocklodger appealing beggars belief.

Seriously it’s better to be single forever than settle for setting her bar in the gutter with this loser.

Terrribletwos · 12/04/2025 13:37

What exactly does your friend see in him? He sounds like an old deadbeat.

Womanofcustard · 12/04/2025 13:37

He would be mad to give up his HA flat - I think he would be thinking about sub-letting it. More income!

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:39

Maybe he wants to move in with her then as if he comes off benefits and has to apply for JSA (who'd employ him with his lack of consistent work experience?) he wouldnt be able to afford to stay in his flat? Hence the cocklodging move onto your nurse with a purse friend?

The reason he's probably had lots of fleeting girlfriends is that they dont last long once they realise they can't fix him.

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 14:06

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:39

Maybe he wants to move in with her then as if he comes off benefits and has to apply for JSA (who'd employ him with his lack of consistent work experience?) he wouldnt be able to afford to stay in his flat? Hence the cocklodging move onto your nurse with a purse friend?

The reason he's probably had lots of fleeting girlfriends is that they dont last long once they realise they can't fix him.

He thinks he is gods gift hence many girlfriends.
Even his best friend said that.
When he was in his 20's he had three different women in a month.
God knows what they saw in him.

OP posts:
treesandsun · 12/04/2025 14:08

If he has his benefits cut for not being willing to work - his rent on his HA flat will not be paid and he will eventually be asked to leave if he cannot pay. He is lining himself up with somewhere else to live where no rent is needed and he will be unable to contribute to bills etc.
I would tell your friend to tell him - no I do not want you living here - this is my home only. No reason is needed - it is her preference.
God knows what she sees in him.

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 14:09

He even thinks that I fancy him.
Im married with my own home older hubby.
He is going for women with their own homes now he is older.

OP posts:
JHound · 12/04/2025 14:10

I never understand women dating much older men but the man is a bum. The while point of dating older men is they are meant to have their shit together, be more mature and financially stable.

To date an older bum boggles my kind!

singlewhitetrashheap · 12/04/2025 14:11

He sounds disgusting and she needs to get rid.

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 12/04/2025 14:12

Apart from only changing his bedding monthly he sounds utterly delightful.

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 14:15

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:10

I never understand women dating much older men but the man is a bum. The while point of dating older men is they are meant to have their shit together, be more mature and financially stable.

To date an older bum boggles my kind!

Agree. Older men never appealed to me but I can understand the appeal if they have their shit together and have a maturity about them.

This one a lazy useless man waste of space - how these dregs seem to get a string of women is beyond me