Would you feel a little guilty (wheelchair plus bus thread)

[Soubriquet]

I have poor mobility. I really need a power chair and I’m saving up for one but today because I was going bus, place, bus, I took my rollator.

Going there was fine.

Coming home…well, if I had my wheelchair it would have been difficult. There were 3 buggies on there. Two in the buggy space, one in the wheelchair space. The woman in the wheelchair space watch me struggle on, and just snappily said “mind my fucking pushchair will you” so yeah. There was also an elderly man with his own rollator.

The next bus would have been an hour later and no guarantee it would be any better.

I know bus drivers are allowed to force people off, but I also know that sometimes, people
will not move. However, I would have felt slightly guilty if one of the women had to get off with their pram. Stupid I know, but I guess I’m soft like that.

Would you have felt guilt?

Also, what would you have done if you had a wheelchair and someone refused to get off? Not much you can do is there?

Taxi is not an option in this case.

So did you manage to get on the bus ok? Or have to get off and try for the next one?

Nope.

I'd have switched off my powerchair and sat there until the situation was sorted.

I'll do all I can if people are polite and courteous and helpful. Once had to juggle someone elses baby on my lap whilst a pram was folded and several people were shuffled about, so we could all fit (I was there first, they were very clearly frazzled with more kids than they had limbs and what looked like the start of a difficult day!)

Once someone starts being a cunt, I'll be one right back.

I once heaved someones luggage off a train as they'd left it in the wheelchair spot and refused to move it. They discovered this many stops later.

Kindly, OP... You weren't in a wheelchair and no one had to get off the bus or contemplate getting off the bus. We all know how threads like this go.

Woman in wheelchair space was very rude though. Sorry to hear you were spoken to like that.

I use a wheelchair.

i don’t use buses for this reason.

i live in a small town and either wheelchair or drive to stuff.

travelling longer distances I get the train and taxi. It is fucking expensive but you can pre book wheelchair spaces on trains and the staff will actually make people move luggage (very common) and buggies (less common).

This.

Years back, parents had a travel buggy they they folded and put in the luggage bit at the front of the bus. They then had their kid on their lap.
Now everyone seems to have massive travel system things (what does that even mean?) that take up a ton of room.

Yes, I got on the bus ok. Just. Has to really squeeze in there. And whilst yes I wasn’t an actual wheelchair user today it made me think about the future.

I don’t drive so I have to use buses mostly. In my town, it’s usually guaranteed ok for wheelchair users. This one was to the city which is why it was harder. I could get the train, but I would mean taking the bus into town, then getting a train, whereas if I go by bus, it’s completely free for me (I have a free disability bus pass)

I'm sorry you experienced that. Why did that woman with the buggy in the wheelchair space think it was OK to talk to you like that?

Parents with buggies need to get over themselves, fold them up, and sit with their kid(s) on their lap. Wheelchairs should be prioritised.

I've had countless times with buggies luggage and people in the wheelchair space refusing to make space for me. Now when I go up the ramp I stop in the doorway and look at them. Guess who the bus driver and passengers complain about?

No idea. Her kid was asleep so i guess she didn’t want her to wake up.

Back when my children were little and I actually had mobility, I had gotten off the bus to allow a wheelchair on. It wasn’t far for me to walk (about 20 mins). My husband and older child stayed on the bus and I met them in town. Easy

But where I was coming from was a bit different (I had taken a child to a birthday party)

She was really rude to you, I have no idea why you'd feel guilty.
I've stopped a bus moving on before because some twat thought her empty pushchair was more deserving his space than my son in an actual wheelchair.
The attitude some people have is disgusting, " first come first served" no you can fuck off and get off.

Sorry you had to put up with that today.

It's a shame when people are rude. But when there's buggies and a couple disabled folks as well, obviously there isn't quite enough space.

The woman who swore at you was awful. What did she think you'd do, smash the pushchair in half by gingerly squeezing yourself around it?

I don't know what the solution was at that time but some people just don't care about others and there's little you can do to force them to. Hopefully karma will bite them on the arse. If they weren't just having a very bad day.

This is me. I’m a powerchair user who used to use buses a lot. In practice what happens on a crowded bus, the bus driver will shout from the cab that he can't get you on. I have had people refuse the bus drivers request to move and there is literally nothing the driver can do, they just drive on. To combat this I use quieter bus stops at the start of routes thereby getting on first. This isn’t always feasible though

Back 30 years folding up the buggy was normal. Normal for me also was handing the baby to the driver while I did it!! Bet those perspex windows aren't for Covid or driver safety.. But to dodge random dc!!
People had more patience then I think...
Every Friday I ferried 4 dc onto a bus after school to do the weekly shop..

What are you feeling guilty about???

Did you accidentally bang into her push chair with your Rollator? Is that what starter off saying be careful of my pram?

At the end of the day, there is a wheelchair space, fine for her to use it Waller wheelchair doesn't need it, but the minute someone in the wheelchair needs it, she loses it. No ifs or butts.

She can choose to leave the kid in it and get off the bus or she can remove the kid and fold it. Sometimes it's not easy because there's nowhere to put the stuff you accumulate in the past year or the kid is asleep half asleep and hard to deal with. But that's life. It's a space for wheelchairs (and on our buses anyway through through things to clip into so they don't move around or tip) and she has chosen to get on a bus where the pushchair chair spaces were already full

There are restrictions on the size of mobility scooters on buses. Why aren't there similar restrictions on the size of buggies?

i have had a) a woman with a dog in a pram and b) a woman with a childs doll in a buggy push on before me on a bus. The dog owner actually was ok as she moved out of my way on the bus but the woman with the doll had to be told to collapse her buggy and have the doll on her knee. Obviously she mustn’t have been very mentally well to be pushing a doll around in a big buggy…but she would have taken the space from me, a person, if she could have

This is where the erosion of authority figures has got us. Back in the day the driver or conductor would have intervened and got things sorted so everyone could fit on board.

Nowadays they’re not going to deal with swearing woman and entitled parents.

However, the other issue is the poor bus service of one bus an hour. No one wants to get off to make way in those circumstances (I’m in London so getting off the bus and waiting for the next was never an issue. Or just walking).

I also don’t think comparisons with back in the day are very helpful - mothers and babies/toddlers are out of the house for much longer periods of time than in the past so you have a lot more kit and kaboodle with you than if you were just out for a couple of hours.

When my now 13yo was a baby I couldn't drive. I also lived in the middle of nowhere with 3buses a day in each direction. Everyone on that bus route did their bit to make sure everyone squeezed on... buggies were in every gap, children squished up on seats etc. Everyone helped each other.

Its a shame that sort of thing has been lost. I think only one piece folding buggies should be allowed on buses really.

You've done nothing wrong. Sorry you had to deal with these asshats.

I only ever tried a bus once with dc. I had a 3yo and newborn twins and was trying to use the park and ride in Exeter. Double buggy was the same size as a small wheelchair (fitted through single doorways). There was no way I could safely hold two premature babies and fold a buggy. First bus had a wheelchair so I waited for the next 2 - both had single buggies who refused to fold. I gave up and got back in my car and drove into the city centre feeling teary and stressed.

When you don’t use buses regularly you just don’t have that to hand.

But surely we all have to accept that sometimes the choices we've made to use the equipment we use, will mean there are things we cannot do.

I can't take my huge all terrain powerchair on most accessible buses, it is too big. If I choose to go out in that, it won't be on a bus.

I couldn't get my mobility scooter on a bus or a train, it was too large - I accepted that there'd be times I'd have to use either alternative transport, or an alternative aid and eventually sold it and replaced it with a powerchair.

If you rarely use buses and choose a buggy system that suits what you do normally, then sometimes you're going to have to accept you can't get on the bus. If you DO regularly uses buses then it makes sense to choose equipment that works on the bus.

Buses prevent all sorts of items going on - bikes, large power scooters, etc, why should people expect to take any/all buggy systems on there?

Disabled people have to think about what equipment they're using and where they want to take it and whether it will fit all the time every time they go out. Why do some parents think the world just has to accept that they've chosen some boat sized buggy system and everyone ought to just budge up and accomodate it?

I'm sorry this happened but I think you were being unreasonable to expect this to work. What would you have done if there'd been space and then a wheelchair user wanted to get on? Would you have got off in the middle of nowhere and walked? Newborn twins and a toddler? Good thing you had a car.