Would you feel a little guilty (wheelchair plus bus thread)

[Soubriquet]

I have poor mobility. I really need a power chair and I’m saving up for one but today because I was going bus, place, bus, I took my rollator.

Going there was fine.

Coming home…well, if I had my wheelchair it would have been difficult. There were 3 buggies on there. Two in the buggy space, one in the wheelchair space. The woman in the wheelchair space watch me struggle on, and just snappily said “mind my fucking pushchair will you” so yeah. There was also an elderly man with his own rollator.

The next bus would have been an hour later and no guarantee it would be any better.

I know bus drivers are allowed to force people off, but I also know that sometimes, people
will not move. However, I would have felt slightly guilty if one of the women had to get off with their pram. Stupid I know, but I guess I’m soft like that.

Would you have felt guilt?

Also, what would you have done if you had a wheelchair and someone refused to get off? Not much you can do is there?

Taxi is not an option in this case.

It was a one stop bus - park and ride to city centre.

People are very selfish. WC users should have priority, I don't know why people buy ridiculous pushchairs when they travel by bus.

If she did bump the pram it wouldn't have been deliberate. There was no excuse for the way she was talked to, but you don't even acknowledge that.

“mind my fucking pushchair will you”

Do you think this was an acceptable thing to say to a disabled person even if they did accidentally bump the pram on a crowded bus?

If so, I think it's you who's going to get people saying how awful those people are, not the OP.

I'm horrified by the attitude of people. Having a buggy has made me more sympathetic to the plight of wheelchair users, not less. Every time the pavement is blocked by bins / cars parked on curb / other obstacles, I thank my lucky stars i can bump up and down the curb without having to retrace my steps to find a drop curb. Every time I struggle to get my buggy somewhere with small steps that I'd barely notice on foot, I think how awful it must be to have no option available. Accessing toilets aswell. I cant believe that anyone would actively make a wheelchair users life harder. We're not all like these knobs, I accept my buggy is an accessory to make my life easier, not a necessity, wheelchair users should take priority.

You only have to look at the thread started by a teacher concerning the vile behaviour of some pupils to see how this will play out. Plenty of posters on there saying they would not move their child for anyone else to sit down.
These children then grow up to be adults. They won’t move, why should they? They have been brought up by parents instilling in them that they are more important than anyone else.

I’m wondering if OP misheard ‘mind my fucking pushchair will you’ as it seems like an oddly aggressively thing to say to someone for no reason.

You've lived a sheltered life haven't you Nomas - I've heard plenty of people rudely and angrily snark to 'mind my... whatever the fuck it is' at a stranger for no bloody reason.

I am sure the OP is perfectly capable of hearing and understanding what was said to her and I don't see anything to imply otherwise in her posts.

I've encountered a lot of hostility and negative comments, on the buses and here on MN, on my issues with buses. I've even been accused of disliking buggy mums. That's not true. It's the self entitled attitudes of some buggy mums that I dislike. Every one should realize that life is crap for anyone in a wheelchair. For my part if I am waiting for a bus in my powerchair and someone in a manual wheelchair also needs the same bus I let them board and wait for the next bus. When I'm on the bus and hear the driver refusing a buggy because I'm in the space I call out to the driver and say there's still room for them. It's all about prioritising and respecting one another's needs.

Whaat? Really, what a daft comment!

I wouldn’t have felt bad at all, I’d have got on and waited in the aisle for her to move. If it had held up the bus and the rest of the passengers that would have been buggy woman’s choice.

Back 20 years ago there was a woman who'd get on with her DS and his pram. Almost every time a passenger would be happy to take the pram whilst the woman walked up the steps with her DS. I don't remember anyone complaining because they needed a hand.

Which bit? Care to expand?

People are generally more entitled and angry as you have experienced from that comment, and bus drivers can’t force people off to make space- the ruling is that they have to make effort to clear the wheelchair space, they can stop the bus from moving on- ask pushcarts to be folded etc not force people already onboard to get off.
With people’s growing sense of entitlement and risk of aggressiveness from passengers, bus drivers just don’t bother and leave passengers to sort it out themselves.

Oh, that's a brilliant thing to do. I would have paid good money to see their faces when they realised!
I mean, I'm sorry, and angry' that you were treated badly, but as an act of revenge, it was priceless.
As for the entitled, selfish woman with the pram, @Soubriquet . What a bitch.

The OP mentioned mobility problems. Pretty sure they don't affect hearing. You must live a very charmed life if you never come across "oddly aggressive" people. Or perhaps it is something only us people with disabilities have to contend with (my hearing is fine btw). I have been sworn at for refusing to move seats on a plane (that I paid for - paid extra for - to be seated in a place suitable for my disability) because mum wanted her child beside her, sworn at for not moving fast enough (also use a rollator at times), and even sworn at for "skipping a queue" because I was in a wheelchair and in the disability track!

What are you feeling guilty about? Nothing happened, you all got in the bus no one got kicked off. This is a none issue.

I've had to get off a bus with my pram to give way for a wheelchair user. Absolutely no guilt was expected - those are the rules and the disabled person has priority (there were already other buggies in the buggy space when I got on so I used the wheelchair space, which you are allowed to do subject to giving way to a wheelchair user). It's the only time it has ever happened and was a minor inconvenience at most. It's far easier for me to get around than most wheelchair users, and they will (mostly) still need their wheelchair after my children outgrow the buggy. The other woman was horribly rude to you OP

You really don't need to explain disability to me, I’m a full time carer for my disabled mum.

But everyone is capable for mishearing something.

And plenty of people have been sworn at for refusing to move for entitled people on planes, whether disabled or not.

Why would the single buggies have to fold just for you?
I have a disabled kid and a smaller toddler and used a double buggy for a looooong time and Id never expected anyone to accomodate for us. They were on the bus first and had the right to have the buggies there without having to fold because it was convenient for you sadly. You dont know what was the situation of those parents, maybe they too waited for a long time to get on the bus and felt stressed.

Why do you feel guilty? 1) she was really rude and 2) you weren't using a wheelchair so weren't causing any of the crush anyway, the 3 pushchairs were.

I think there's a combined responsibility on bus users to make themselves as flexible and compact as they can and on bus drivers to enforce rules once that has happened as far as is possible.

And maybe also a 3rd responsibility on travel companies to make more space om buses. A lot of people can stand so why can't more/all seats be flip up to allow more flexible spaces? In a city it's no big deal if someone has to wait for a couple of buses or walk a couple of stops. But where I live there's 1 bus a day from the village to the nearest city. That's it. And it takes about 30 minutes with very few stops. Must be a nightmare for people with no car who can't guarantee they will be allowed on.

That’s a bit harsh. Wouldn't you want to help someone with 2 tiny newborns and a 3yo on her own?

As a disabled person whose been in this experience before, I’d of pointed to the disabled sticker for that area and said “move.”
They can fold their buggies.

That makes it ok then, that people swear at the able bodied too? I do not assume that someone cannot hear what is said to them - why are you doing so? You are questioning the OP's veracity. You have no cause to do so.