Would you feel a little guilty (wheelchair plus bus thread)

[Soubriquet]

I have poor mobility. I really need a power chair and I’m saving up for one but today because I was going bus, place, bus, I took my rollator.

Going there was fine.

Coming home…well, if I had my wheelchair it would have been difficult. There were 3 buggies on there. Two in the buggy space, one in the wheelchair space. The woman in the wheelchair space watch me struggle on, and just snappily said “mind my fucking pushchair will you” so yeah. There was also an elderly man with his own rollator.

The next bus would have been an hour later and no guarantee it would be any better.

I know bus drivers are allowed to force people off, but I also know that sometimes, people
will not move. However, I would have felt slightly guilty if one of the women had to get off with their pram. Stupid I know, but I guess I’m soft like that.

Would you have felt guilt?

Also, what would you have done if you had a wheelchair and someone refused to get off? Not much you can do is there?

Taxi is not an option in this case.

I am past the age of buggies on buses now, but I always worried about having to get off, if there wasn't enough space.

Mainly because of how the ticket issue works.

If I've paid for a single ticket (ours just say "central zone") and I have to get off to make way for a wheelchair user, would I then have to pay for another ticket on the next bus?

On mat leave, I was often down to pennies at the end of the month, so couldn't have afforded a second ticket. I could walk into town, but the hill back up, with a buggy, would have killed me.

It never happened to me, but I always worried about it. I'd have given way if needed, but do wonder if there are people who wouldn't give way because of similar worries.

In my day the driver would give you a ticket to show you'd already paid, no problem. I'd be surprised if that has changed.

I'd fold the buggy though.

When we had to get a buggy, it was recommended that the umbrella pushchairs were not used until the DC were 1 year old.

The two part buggy we has was slimline, but needed two hands to collapse, plus I'd have it stuffed to the brim with the food shopping, including over the handle clips. I'd never have been able to collapse it on the bus in my own, and I've never seen anyone ever help someone else collapse a buggy on a bus.

It'd would only be feasible to get off. Which is what I would have done, as even collapsed, I'd have had two parts of a buggy, numerous shopping bags and DC.
It was easier once DC were over a year, and we did have an umbrella pushchair.

It would be polite to fold to allow the mum with tiny twins with tubes up their noses who can’t fold and hold two prem babies at the same on if they are able to fold their buggies.

“Kindly” this is a shitty response.

My 9 year old son is a wheelchair user and I drive so it isn't an issue most of the time as we have a Motability car but we actually used a bus the other day and the driver was fantastic, two pushchairs were already on and they got told to move and he refused to move the bus until one of them moved. One of them started arguing that it's either two pushchairs or two wheelchairs and he simply pointed to the sign that said wheelchair priority. She moved but refused to get off the bus so was in the aisle with the pushchair, the driver shrugged and started driving again.

I’m a full time carer for my disabled daughter. We talk about what she faces all the time. I still don’t fully appreciate what it is like to be a disabled person. To be stared at all the time, to be the obvious person in the room, to have to ask for things just to exist in a way ableds don’t, to be made to feel like a nuisance when you ask for reasonable adjustments

Plenty of people have been sworn at on planes, but for a disabled person that it yet another time they have to deal with it. They’ve had to deal with that on top of navigating the airport, finding space to wait, trying to get someone to understand no they can’t just wait in the 2 hour check in queue to get a wheelchair tag, waiting for special assistance to come to them, worrying about whether they will turn up, having people tut at them for being able to board early, waiting for the ambilift to get them to the plane, having people stare at them whilst they tried to get to their seat, wondering if their wheelchair will be intact at the end of the flight, not being able to use the toilets… the list goes on. If the worst thing that happens to you that day is being shouted at by an entitled person for not moving, then you’re doing ok comparatively.

I have never experienced anyone being vile to my daughter when we are out, but I’ve experienced enough ill will and ignorance to know it definitely exists.

Where does it say they were tube fed, or is it something you added for extra dramatic effect?
And are you 100% sure the babies on the bus were 100% healthy? Maybe their mums were not feeling well, were disabled, maybe their kids were disabled or just waited for an hour on the bus and had the same right to be on it. I mean sad reality but no one is more entitled to a space on the bus than someone who is already on it.
A polite thing would nto be to expect for everybody to bend over backwards just because it's convenient for one person.

They were premature, I didn’t add all the details but they looked premature - 5lbs and 4lbs big at the time. Either way, if one mum is clearly struggling why would other mums not help? I think it’s a fair expectation to expect kindness at a time of difficulty. To be fair the tubes aren’t the reason I couldn’t hold two babies while folding a buggy and managing a 3 yo, that was more that I’d not evolved into an octopus.

I would have thought that the sensible situation is that the people in wheelchairs or using a rollator, with reduced mobility should take precedence to fit onto the bus, but I imagine in reality the bus driver is more likely to refuse people getting on than ask people to get off.
The woman with the pram was very rude and when I'm on the bus with the pram I usually fold it if my baby isn't asleep to give more space to others.
I don't think you have anything to feel guilty for.

What I don't understand is this 'I was here first' attitude from pushchair users. It's not a case of who was there first,it's a case of wheelchair users having priority! Disabled charities and groups fought long and hard for easier access to public transport (buses where the step can be lowered, wheelchair spaces) and the understanding was that if the wheelchair space wasn't needed by a disabled person,then pushchair users could use it. This has gradually eroded over the last 20 years to 'first come,first served'. A few months ago,I actually heard a woman with a pushchair on the bus saying when she was asked to move for a wheelchair, 'You do know that pushchairs have priority?'. A case of if enough people say it often enough,it starts to become 'truth'.

I came to mobility issues later in life. My experiences are very similar to your daughter's. She has my deepest sympathy for her experiences so young. Unless there's a radical change in people's attitudes it can only get worse.