One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

I’m with you. I don’t think I even got dressed for at least a week after all of them. I was completely exhausted, in pain, I’d had about four minutes sleep and my breast were erupting!

Also I remember after my first (over 30 years ago) being told to keep baby indoors for 10 days. I had my 2nd 5 years later and that advice had changed.

I think it’s fine for the baby but after all of my births i was shattered!. I remember when my kids were little a pregnant mum at school did the drop off at 9am and at 3pm she did the pick up with a baby in tow 😊

Why would social services be interested in someone taking a baby to a pub?

I was at soft play the morning after ds2 was born. Easier to have the older ones running off energy with friends dc than stuck in the house. If she feels well enough then good for her

I think that we went to the pub more times in the early weeks than we normally do because it was easier to get a cooked meal. I also popped into Boots on my way home to get bottles and formula.
One of my friends was born in a pub!

Apart from being exhausted after childbirth, I wanted to take my baby home and be calm and have not too much noise around them. Pubs are not know for this.

Babies find birth traumatic, their bodies are full of cortisol, and the shock of delivery regardless of how easy or otherwise is considerable.

The stress and sometimes pain can last a few days at least - why wouldn’t you want to make a baby comfortable and warm at home, to offer a quiet sanctuary to a tiny human being that has already just endured such an epic, exhausting delivery? So their tiny bodies can regulate, their central nervous systems can settle down, they are able to start to feel secure and bond with their mother?

Their immune systems are not fully developed at all, so why expose them to so many germs? Needless germs too, because although hospitals are essential to the baby’s safe delivery, a pub certainly isn’t essential is it.

I am just speechless anyone would even consider this to be in the best interests of the baby! Clearly it is not. It is what the parents want to do, and that is a very sad start to their lives.

Oh I remember the pain of episiotomy, but then I was cut from sun up to sun down IYKWIM.

I think this is a personal one. I personally would not have had a 1 day old in a pub, or anywhere other than out for a short walk in their pram. I think I too am old fashioned. I waited about a week before taking DS1 out to introduce to people (and it was in a pub 20 years ago). DS2 I took to a family wedding at 1 week old. I remember running out on the morning of the wedding looking for something comfortable to wear because I was in pain and the clothes I had originally bought were too tight down there.

It does sound that way doesn't it?

Really, this is a pub that serves food and also evidently allows kids. It's going to be more like a cafe or restaurant, both of which often serve alcohol, than it is a spit and sawdust place.

So much unnecessary judgement and assumption in a lot of these replies.

What about families that run pubs?

Hygiene? What will baby be touching? Immune system? I presume the baby isn't licking the floor? Is it because people may pick them up? A large family at home may do tthat.an older sibling pawing at a newborn is probably worse! Once baby has mum nearby with foodsource on tap. What's the issue?

I remember I went to the supermarket with dd when she was 3 days old and the checkout lady said “She’s young to be out”. I said she was fine-in a sling under my coat and the reply was “oh, I know she’s fine-it’s you I’m worried about!”

We took dc1 to the pub when she was 2 days old, dh and I sat out in the sun and had lunch while she slept in her buggy next to us. It was lovely! I was kept in overnight with her (for her rather than me) and I felt fine. I was 19 and I did bounce back physically very quickly. Had the next one at 21 and I don’t remember what we did but I had a lot of stitches as she was a 9lb baby and came very quickly, born with her arm up by her head! With my third I was 26 and we went out for a pub lunch on day 3, was nice to be out. But I had 3 fairly straightforward births and deliveries and generally preferred being up and about as much as my body would allow. Sitting in a pub eating isn’t an arduous task and I liked the change of scenery and touch of normality personally.

Again, how is a baby that is being cuddled and fed and sleeping different when it's in a place with a few more people than at home? Babies generally sleep better with a degree of noise. I was very lucky in that after the first 24 hours I found breastfeeding really easy and was happy doing it out and about. Made no difference to my child that he was being cuddled and fed on a wooden chair while I ate with one hand rather than being cuddled and fed on a sofa while I ate with one hand

They aren't being left lying on a table in a pool of beer slops while people drip cigarette ash over them.

TBF neither are the postnatal wards that a good number of our babies are on the day after they give birth. I was in a pub for a meal the other day, and the levels of noise and people were much lower than the postnatal wards I was stuck on for a couple of days after having mine. I suspect it probably got cleaned better and more often too.

So what's wrong with that.? She needs to eat . Is there any rule saying you have to hide indoor once you've given birth?

If its germs you are worried about then think of all of the 2nd ( and more) babies that get dragged to nurseries and school runs from a day old . They have germy siblings

This is ridiculous. Pubs are fine, there is no smoking and people are generally better behaved when a baby is around. The baby can't even pick anything up to put anything in its mouth.

Would you care if it was a cafe?

I went to the polling station to vote in the Brexit referendum on the way homefrom hospital after a 4 day labour and emergency section.

It's not really for other people to say whether a new mum needs to rest. The fact that she is 17 is unnecessary information, unless you wanted to add an extra layer of judgment?

A quiet sanctuary at home? What if there are 2 other young siblings there. Won't be quiet

It is already a red flag that the parents as already putting their own wants and needs before the baby. Even on day one. It is not a good sign at all, that it hasn’t even occurred to them.

I would want to see them on a parenting class or a think first course, because it would appear they have limited capacity to put the needs of a highly vulnerable baby first.

’Showing off’ the baby aopears to take precedence over the well being and comfort of said child. I would have limited confidence in their ability to parent any children well, given that this is deemed acceptable to them.

She will be in post birth honeymoon. Her baby is finally in her arms and healthy and the birth was OK, feeling proud to show her newborn off and, not yet too sleep deprived ( or maybe she is, that can make you feel hyper). In a few days she maybe elbow deep in nappies and exhausted. I think you have to go with how you feel. It’s a good sign that she feels well enough to go out and wants to show off her newborn.
I went out as soon as I was able but had two “ouch” births and walked very slowly like John Wayne. Never forget going for a walk with my Mum and new baby. She wanted to push the pram and was marching on like a hiker. I must have said slow down one hundred times in 10 minutes. Stayed home for a few more days after that 🤣

Jesus.... she is having a meal in a pub.

Is the baby’s needs being putting first on the very first day of their life? No. Most definitely not.

This is true, to listen to some people on this post nobody ever has more than one child. I'm the 4th of 5, I can't imagine there was a lot of quiet or sanctuary available when my DM brought me home!

As this new mum is 17, fair bet she lives with family. There could be multiple other children in the household aside from her and the new baby.

Fine now that pubs aren’t Smokey. Great that she was having a meal.
I would like to think that family would also help to cook a few meals etc for her but if not then eating in a pub seems like a great idea.