Page 4 | One day old baby in pub

Frenchie01 · 2025-04-09T22:27:02+00:00

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

Daschund1 · 10/04/2025 01:09

I took DD18 to a football match at four days old . DS was playing and DH was at work. I know I'd been shopping before that.

snackatack · 10/04/2025 01:09

If you have had an episiotomy - then moving around a lot will be painful -and can have consequences. (infections and longer healing times). A natural birth can be far more forgiving. Those who have not experienced one - will not understand.

I don't think you are being old fashioned. with my first the 'narrative I was fed' was that it was normal to be up and about - and showing off the baby - I still regret doing too much now. I'd been cut and stitched - I felt dire

When my second came along (I had a natural birth - just stitches from tearing) and in comparison it was a walk in the park. Second time round I was more confident and spent far longer taking things at my own pace and felt better for it.

Christmasbear1 · 10/04/2025 01:09

@SouthLondonMum22
Whilst that's true they'll have family members helping, a day old baby wont have an immune system. People will be wanting to hold the baby. I've never seen people wash their hands properly in public toilets and they'll be touching the dirty cups/utensils at the pub and then touching baby. There's thirdhand smoking as well. People will smoke outside but it will still linger on clothes, hair and skin. Read about it online.

People can do what they want with their babies. Unless necessary, I wouldn't take a day old baby out let alone to a pub.

viques · 10/04/2025 01:13

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 09/04/2025 23:31

It's ok as long as the baby sticks to halves or shandy.

And the pub has comfy stitch friendly seats!

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2025 01:18

Tbrh · 10/04/2025 01:07

We were told in our antenatal class to avoid people for 3 weeks so the babies immune system could develop. Obviously not everyone can do that, but going to the pub is hardly essential. Quite sad if people can't put their baby first for at least a few weeks

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I was never told to avoid people for the first few weeks with mine. The NHS doesn't have any guidelines or recommendations about it either.

fiorenza · 10/04/2025 01:21

Tbrh · 10/04/2025 01:07

We were told in our antenatal class to avoid people for 3 weeks so the babies immune system could develop. Obviously not everyone can do that, but going to the pub is hardly essential. Quite sad if people can't put their baby first for at least a few weeks

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Years ago a friend of a friend was told this, but she wanted to show her first baby off. The baby caught something, and was rendered basically a vegetable. Lived in a home and died at age three.

That's an extreme case, I am sure, but I often think of her. I think it is insane behaviour to take a day old baby to a pub, regardless.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2025 01:22

Christmasbear1 · 10/04/2025 01:09

@SouthLondonMum22
Whilst that's true they'll have family members helping, a day old baby wont have an immune system. People will be wanting to hold the baby. I've never seen people wash their hands properly in public toilets and they'll be touching the dirty cups/utensils at the pub and then touching baby. There's thirdhand smoking as well. People will smoke outside but it will still linger on clothes, hair and skin. Read about it online.

People can do what they want with their babies. Unless necessary, I wouldn't take a day old baby out let alone to a pub.

Depends if any of those smoking would be holding the baby. If they are family members, that's going to be an issue no matter where they are.

OP also doesn't mention how busy the pub was.

BlondiePortz · 10/04/2025 01:22

We did this to have lunch then when out daily from then on

BlondiePortz · 10/04/2025 01:23

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2025 01:18

I was never told to avoid people for the first few weeks with mine. The NHS doesn't have any guidelines or recommendations about it either.

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Same

Tarkan · 10/04/2025 01:34

DC2 (now 17) was less than a day old when I had to take DC1 to nursery. Brand new baby was handed around all the nursery teachers for cuddles and many kids were excited to see the baby too. A pub is probably less germ-ridden than that would have been (especially in February).

We lived beside the nursery at the time at least as I was full of stitches but their dad (thankfully now my ex) wouldn’t do the nursery run and I ended up walking a couple of miles that day as we had prepay electric and gas meters and he “didn’t know how to top them up” so if I hadn’t gone then we wouldn’t have had any heating, hot water or any way to cook. That was probably the worse thing for my recovery than having to do the nursery run.

TappyGilmore · 10/04/2025 02:05

I don’t remember ever being given any advice about how long to keep the baby home for. We stayed in hospital until day 3 and then were left to get on with it. Didn’t go out until day 10 due to being in the fortunate position of not needing to go out, and then went to an open day at a community health centre and a cafe.

But I would stay home for as long as possible. I was always quite shocked by how many people, including complete strangers, would stick their heads right into the pram for a look. Especially primary school age children!

ThisFluentBiscuit · 10/04/2025 02:34

EasterOnTheHorizon · 09/04/2025 23:36

Brilliant!!🤣

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I don't have kids and I thought the same until three seconds ago!

I'm sure if used to be the case 2-3 decades ago. 🤔

Toddlerteaplease · 10/04/2025 02:45

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 09/04/2025 23:31

It's ok as long as the baby sticks to halves or shandy.

🤣

elliejjtiny · 10/04/2025 02:47

Sounds fine to me. I felt high as a kite the day after ds1 was born and I could easily have done this. With the others I was a lot more tired.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 10/04/2025 02:56

I gave birth at 5pm and was home by midnight with the second dc. BBQ was lit and wine was poured. Was at the rugby club a few days later. With dd1 I was slower off the mark.
Good on her for getting out.

MrsEverest · 10/04/2025 02:56

We stayed close to home for a while because of concern about viral illnesses but that was more about us feeling anxious really.

As a young mum she’ll have plenty of opportunities to be judged over all sorts of things why start on day one with something so innocuous?

GrandTheftWalrus · 10/04/2025 03:15

When dd1 was born when I was put into my room it was snowing so I think we waited a few days after going home before I went out. Also had stitches etc.

Dd2 was born on my floor. Didn't need stitches and was only in overnight as her temp was low. She was in the supermarket about an hour after we were home as dh sent me to bed and he took her out.

Dd1 was at my mums by pure coincidence

ohdearagain2 · 10/04/2025 03:55

Same with my sister at 18 - in fact she had to move house the next day after birth despite having stitches and was refusing help! I insisted on helping anyway - she even wanted to drive a car full of stuff to her new place. I stopped her. I guess young bodies bounce back more quickly

Xcellentaligat · 10/04/2025 04:03

I can’t see any harm at all in this. Good luck to them.

mathanxiety · 10/04/2025 04:14

@Frenchie01there's nothing wrong with your reaction. I'd have raised my eyebrows too.

There's nothing laudable about putting that sort of strain on your body so soon after childbirth.

Cherry8809 · 10/04/2025 04:16

Christmasbear1 · 10/04/2025 01:09

@SouthLondonMum22
Whilst that's true they'll have family members helping, a day old baby wont have an immune system. People will be wanting to hold the baby. I've never seen people wash their hands properly in public toilets and they'll be touching the dirty cups/utensils at the pub and then touching baby. There's thirdhand smoking as well. People will smoke outside but it will still linger on clothes, hair and skin. Read about it online.

People can do what they want with their babies. Unless necessary, I wouldn't take a day old baby out let alone to a pub.

This.

It would be a side eye from me.

Seems pretty sad that they couldn’t make it more than 24 hours before frequenting their local.

QuickPeachPoet · 10/04/2025 04:39

I took mine to Costas on the way home and to church on day 4!
Loved both experiences

BlondiePortz · 10/04/2025 04:43

Galaxybisc · 09/04/2025 23:29

I don’t think it’s ideal for the baby

Please explain exactly why? and seperate to this isnt it up to the mum to do what she feels she can do? the idea that every single woman is bed ridden for weeks and needs to be locked away is laughable, not all women are the same

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 04:45

It’s very far from ideal for the baby. They will have been through the shock of being born and will be trying to acclimatise and adjust to the world, and they will need to feel safe and secure with the mother, so their central nervous system can settle down.
Being in a busy, noisy pub with people drinking around them is really sad, and depending on the pub potentially dangerous too.

I wouldn’t consider taking a tiny newborn into a pub or anywhere boisterous. It would be the last place I would choose. I would judge someone harshly for doing this, they are not putting the baby first..

DappledThings · 10/04/2025 05:43

We were in Sainsbury's on the way home, a cafe on day 3 and pub on day 4.

I felt fine and wanted to be enjoying being out and about. Baby was either in the pram, in a sling or on me feeding. Perfectly safe and cosy.