One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

That's pretty cruel imo. One day old is still getting used to the shock of being in the world and probably the trauma of birth. I'd like to see an adult human cope with that intense change. Pretty shit actually.

I think younger bodies are way more resilient to the rigours of birth and a public meeting where everyone gets to ask questions and hold the baby means they all don't descend on her house separately. Hopefully mum and baby will be left in peace if that's what they need now.

I went to Tesco on the way home from hospital as we were hosting a barbecue for several friends

Babies are portable. Yes no smoke or stress. Took no 4 to NY at 6 weeks along with older 3 - she'd already been in a London hotel for my 40th birthday at 3 weeks. She was in Dublin at 9 weeks and in Bahamas at under 4 months. DH worked abroad - we travelled on airmiles when we could. She's 21 now and not showing any signs of stress. The pub will be fine.

She's 17 OP! She is still going to have the energy of a 17 year old.

I don't see any issue. In fact, I did similar things. Not at 1 day old as I was unable to leave hospital for 8 days but we certainly didn't rush home to block out the world and do nothing. She'll figure out her limit and when it's time to rest for both of them.

My eldest will be 26 this year. When I was pregnant my husband was still in the military. All the soon to be mums went to a baby class on a Thursday night. The woman running it said something along the lines of “I see all the new mums out on base when their babies are just a few days old. Ideally you should be staying at home for the first 2-3 months”. Months! Obviously nobody listened to that advice…

I don't have children but newborn babies have a weak immune system. In a lot of cultures babies don't tend to leave the home for about 30 days.

Look, life doesn't stop just because one has a baby. If she feels up to it, have at it. Let her be.

Let her do her. You do you. Mums don’t need people judging them. They need love support & acceptance

I haemorrhaged the day after I had DD so I’m glad I didn’t go to the pub 😂. I was however, in less pain then than I was 3 days later. It’s like my brain finally got the message and realised what had happened and I couldn’t sit down for a week with piles, then once that got better after speaking to the GP, my stitches got sore!

Maybe she’s doing things while she can 😂

My last pregnancy I had twins at home at 9:05 and 9:08am and was out shopping for tea and school run same day. I think some of us are made of stronger stuff haha

I think this is it. You have an image if what teen parenting is like, but her experience doesn't fit. So it feels odd to you. It is grand though. After my second c section, I was on overnight, out around 6 next day, stopped at m and s for olives and deli stuff for easy dinner.

Next day I was out for afternoon tea for a family member's significant birthday. It was all grand. I think people need to respect the needs of the mother, ask before doing or organising stuff, ask whether help is needed, especially if they are alone or lonely. Loss is a lonely place.

I dont really think it's an issue

Those same cultures likely have more family help. You can't stay home for 30 days if you have another child to get to school and the such like.

Babies also need to build up their immune system. Not to mention considering mums mental health, cooped up inside for 30 days isn't going to be a good thing for most.

Dd1 is 27 we took her to a cafe at 3 days old (in a shopping centre too!) I had been out of hospital for 2 hours max.

Dd2 I don't recall when she was first out but I know she was the "oldest" she was also a homebirth so I don't even recall her first day "out"(sorry dd2)

Ds went to do the Christmas shop at 2 days old in a huge Sainsbury's. I sat with dd2 watching cartoons while dh and dd1 shopped checking in regularly.

Dd3 i took on the school run 2 days old. I knew from experience I would have a week of agony as my milk came in (I get a LOT) so took the one day where I could show her off to do so. She like dd2 was a homebirth

For the 17 year old I think good for her if she wants to and at least they had a good meal. Mine were sleepy the first few days so ideal time to do so. However I will also admit I am not one of those that want time alone with my baby. I think the more to love on the better. Mil and fil has cradled the oldest 3 within hours of their birth mil also for dd3 (fil passed away month before her arrival) my friend held dd2 at 3 hours old its a core memory for me. 25 years on I can see her vividly in my mind holding her looking at me smiling as she said "this is only the 2nd time I've held a 3 hour old baby" first was her ds.

We didn’t go to the pub but we did go to lunch in a cafe when DS was a day old. I had had absolutely not sleep for several days (labour then first 24h with a Velcro baby) and was beginning to feel like I was going mad so leaving the house was a much needed reset.

What exactly is the problem with a baby being in a pub, especially since the smoking ban? Do you fear it is going to absorb a bottle of whisky by osmosis?

I think it's great for everyone to be alert to the likelihood that a brand new mum won't feel up to going out immediately. But if they do feel up to it, why not?

I was back and forth to the hospital on the bus once or twice a day from less than 24 hours after giving birth to each of my children. There was an element of need there (one needed to go to the breastfeeding clinic, and the other was very unwell). However, I'd have got a taxi or had DH drive me if I'd felt the need. I felt pretty well though, so long as I could get multiple naps per day, and the fresh air was good!

Giving birth doesn't have the same effect on everybody.

No, you were judging her. It’s okay to admit that, just own it.

Not your baby - not your concern.

I was at an ice hockey match at the weekend where there was a 5 day old baby and new mum in the crowd.

Can't you see that staying close to home the first few days was your preference? Just as being in a pub is your cousin's preference. There's no rule. It's hard to imagine you are old enough to have a 19-year-old and you haven't run across people who choose to do things differently than you do. And what was the relevance of your cousin's age? Do you think it's more or less acceptable for a 32-year-old mom to take her baby to a pub than a 17-year-old? Your cousin may be young but she's old enough to know if her fanny hurts. You literally came on here to get other people to agree that your cousin is doing something wrong. If that's not judgy I don't know what is.

YABU if the Mum felt ok and up for it. We sat outside a pub and had a (0% for me) pint with DS when he was 4 days old. It might have been earlier but I’d been in hospital 2 nights. Also a big episiotomy, FWIW, and I was 40, so her age is not a factor here.

I’m sure the mum felt fine - plenty of people do.

That said, an environment with loads of people isn’t a great choice for a very young newborn. The immune system certainly has some developing to do and such a young baby is more vulnerable than say a 3 month old.

If the pub is busy, it’s a poor choice for a newborn due to vulnerability/immature immune system.

We were told in our antenatal class to avoid people for 3 weeks so the babies immune system could develop. Obviously not everyone can do that, but going to the pub is hardly essential. Quite sad if people can't put their baby first for at least a few weeks