One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

It doesn’t mean you never go out or see other people, or do normal things. It means that precious time after the birthis used to be with baby and family, and to recover physically and mentally. As for sitting around doing nothing, no one can do that with a new baby!

What is with all this “precious” and “tiny human” and “nests”
drivel? It’s cringeworthy. My first wasn’t remotely “precious”. He screamed all the bloody time except when he was out in the sling and if I’d been forced to stay in the house “bubbling” I’d have gone insane.

Guess what, I still managed to love my children and be a good mother in spite of our many trips to the pub.

Once again it is all just PFB nonsense about hiding away in a cocoon. When you have older children and toddlers you have to get on with life and baby has to slot into the madness. IME in the first weeks babies are just like these little sleeping jacket potatoes that just snooze through everything and anything and really don’t care where they are. Very portable and easy to take into cafes or round shops, I’d say make the most of it.

But can’t you just do you and not worry about what other people want to do? I couldn’t give a fuck whether a new mum wants to sit around gazing at her new baby, or whether she wants to meet friends at her local for a glass of wine. Neither is unacceptable, as long as baby is fed, warm and clean. I personally didn’t ever feel the need to sit at home recovering from birth. Why should I have to?
Most of the naysayers on this thread don’t have that opinion, though. They seem to think that unless you’re at home, taking in hushed tones with the lights down low, you must be on social service’s radar.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels like that about those words! I have a quite visceral reaction to them - they make me physically cringe.

Firstly, Flat white, of course all babies are precious ( traditional meaning) and tiny humans! It’s just that I wouldn’t want to share that special time with others for a while. They’ll get to meet the world soon enough.

Are babies not precious, then? What is your definition? Perhaps precious has a different meaning to you.

There is a lot of unscientific nonsense in this thread.

New born babies are born with mothers antibodies circulating. Their immune system is not fragile. As long as you have all of your vaccinations your baby will be protected until its vaccinations. If you are an anti vax mother, then sure be more careful with your baby.

The womb is VERY noisy. It is not a calm oasis. That is why those white noise machines exist, because coming from a noisy womb to a quiet room can be disconcerting for a baby.

It is true that traditionally babies used to be kept in the home for a month with their mother. There is limited evidence that this does reduce the risk of post partum haemorrhage and complications. Remember there would not have been any screening of at risk mothers, and getting outside the home meant hard labour like washing clothes by hand, farming, scrubbing floors. It is good practice to avoid heavy labour for at least a month after giving birth, preferably six weeks. Sitting in a pub having a meal is NOT hard labour.

Every birth, every mother, and every baby is different. Do what feels right for you.

It's just rather twee sounding.

I never had this feeling of wanting to be in a bubble or there being some sacrosanct time that needed to be respected where we hid from the world at home. I just wanted to be out and about enjoying our new life.

That doesn't make me any better a parent than someone who does want to stay at home. And it doesn't make the stay at homers any better either.

My babies were lovely and I adored them. Those words and phrases - precious/tiny human/ family bubble are twee and make me cringe.

I was at Costa about 36hrs after my second was born. I had an easy delivery and wanted to get out, and she slept through the whole thing. I went to the little Sainsburys the day after she was born too. With my first I had an awful delivery, recovering at home for a couple of weeks and couldn't walk, so there was no way I could have done it then. As long as baby was happy I would think it's ok.

I know as I start typing this I’m going to come across badly, but I do confess to a slight twinge of judginess when I see or hear of women doing what I deem to be too much too soon. It’s each to their own I know, and as long as it’s not harming anyone it’s clearly none of my business, but there we go.

I think it’s a combination of things. Annoyance at a society that expects women to carry on like it’s no big deal, a sense that with some women there’s a smidgin of showing off going on, frustration that it feeds into the idea that, in the case of CS, major abdominal surgery can be recovered from in a couple of days (would you catch a man wandering around Sainsbury’s doing the family shop after abdo surgery?) and maybe a tiny bit of jealousy.

How rude

I always assume when people stoop that low it's coming from a sense of their own deep insecurity. @flatwhiteextrahot sounds perfectly chilled and happy to acknowledge her baby was hard work which didn't stop her loving him entirely. @boldamberduck is the one coming across as overly defensive and desperate to prove how much she loved her precious babies.

Women are different though and will make different recoveries. Even after a c-section with twins, I didn't want to sit around at home for weeks on end and I felt well enough not to so i didn't.

I'm not sure how many women are going out with the intent to ''show off'' either. They are likely just going about their business and it's more about the other person's insecurity.

So rude and delusional. You’re basically saying if a parent doesn’t want to spend their time staring in awe of their precious creation at home with no outside visitors, barely bloody moving it sounds like, then they’re not a loving parent. Absolute bullshit. And newsflash your newborn is not the cute adorable bundle you thought no one actually thinks they’re cute theyre potatoes for the first week or so. And my kid is literally a model so i often look at her and think wow you’re beautiful. As a newborn… erm….

God forbid a woman wants to ‘show off’ or be complimented on something she’s done, we should all be hidden in the dark staring solely at our newborns, only breastfeeding and not communicating with anyone 😂

Would it have been better if she'd gone to a restaurant for a meal instead of a meal at at pub?

@BoldAmberDuck

you can be a loving mother and not hole yourself up indoors for weeks on end in a “little family bubble” postpartum. The latter sounds very boring.

Leave her be

Its all a learning curve, never mind for a mum aged only 17

That’s your interpretation - it’s not what was said!

Because of your very obvious sense of superiority, coupled with a smug self-righteousness. HTH.

Methinks thou dost protest too much.

I'm such an unloving mother because not only did I go out in public right away, I went out in public and formula fed! The horror!!!

😂