One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

So it's crowded etc doesn't really matter, it's the fact that it's a pub?

No, I'm not at all. I said that it's a possibility, which it is. That's different to saying something will happen.

You're making an assumption when you say the visit from relatives will happen in addition to the pub visit, though. The relatives could be visiting in a large and not busy pub, or indeed sitting in an outside beer garden, as an alternative to being in a smaller space inside a home. That's another possibility.

The fact is that you can't make a claim about relative levels of risk, as the pp did, without a lot more information than we've been given.

How odd of you.

What about an artisan cafe (that sells organic food from locally sourced produce)?

Sorry but who cares. Live and let live.

A young mother with i presume, a baby in a carrier / car seat / dressed properly etc - why does it matter where she is? Unless you saw her knocking back drinks or neglecting the baby it really doesn't matter.

17 and a newborn - the woman needs all the support she can get.

I went shopping the day I had my son. Who are you to judge?

It still depends on the baby and situation- that article fixates a lot on kissing and the herpes virus as well as chicken pox. Newborn babies are only at risk of these if they have no maternal antibodies. Since I’ve had chicken pox and cold sores in the past neither of those were a concern to me with my newborn.

im just uncertain of the narrative that even mild colds and viruses are ‘extremely dangerous’ to newborns as has been peddled by a few on this thread. If this was the case why is there no widespread guidance on how to deal with bringing babies into a home already inhabited by toddlers and small children who are the germiest biohazards known to man. If it was that dangerous you’d be advised to send them packing for a couple of months.

I also remember in the COVID pandemic newborns were not considered clinically vulnerable despite all immunocompromised groups being so.

To be fair you are right. My mum ( boomer generation) is very much of the view that mothers should be resting after labour. However unfortunately it really isn’t done these days. Hospitals have you out either next day or same day in the case either my second 14 years ago. Despite 29 and 23 hr labours. In my mums dad they were in hospital cared for and baby cared for ten days !!! I see what you are saying.

Speaking as one who had babies in the sixties, first one at 18, I can’t think of anything worse than going for lunch in a pub with a newborn. I wanted to get home, have peace and quiet and time with them, while having a rest. A noisy environment and having to converse with everyone who wanted to look at the new addition would be the last thing I wanted. We just wanted to keep baby to ourselves, plenty of time to share them later! No way would I have trudged round a supermarket. Those first few hours after leaving hospitals were too precious to be shared with strangers.

Agreed. And if you can't put your family's NEEDS (i.e. cleaned doorstep) ahead of your own SELFISH behaviours (i.e. doing other things), then we should call Social Services!

i don’t think it’s ideal for a baby to be in a pub at one day old because it’ll be full of germs especially at this time of year when it’s warming up. Not something I’d advocate but each to their own.

Well i when took my less than 48hrs old baby it was the first day after covid in Scotland that we could drink inside.

That's a very niche reason to disapprove of someone else taking their baby to a pub!

OK I guess? You do you and leave off judging others?

It’s normal to judge others, you do it all of the time, it’s called having an opinion. Everyone is entitled to one even if it’s different to yours.

To those few posters who said they felt they needed to not leave the house for 6-8 weeks, did you get screened for post natal anxiety? It sounds like there were terrible things going on in your head, and I feel for you, as this wasn't advice given to you by any medical professional.

Looks like this girl was a-OK, then. The OP doesn't mention anything about lots of people having close contact with the baby (i.e. being passed around), so: check. The baby was in a pub restaurant so was not in a crowded place like an airplane or them park, so: check.

Phew!

But you've made up the scenario of a crowded pub with people shouting, loud music, and the baby being passed around to all and sundry. Don't you think the (judgy) OP would have mentioned these rather sacious details?

The girl was out for a pub lunch on a Wednesday.

If I did there would be no threads on this website.

There’s a huge difference between holding off taking a newborn to the pub for a few weeks and being chained to the sink forever more.

You obviously haven’t had a child in hospital for a while. My toddler was in for pneumonia a few weeks ago and they had a whole ward with isolation rooms for babies with RSV. They were all in use.

You sound judgmental and frankly rude. Whether she rests or not is up to her. The child being in public is doing it no harm.

I hope you had the courtesy to keep your “thoughts” to yourself.

@Peony1897
@Livingbytheocean

look huns, if you wanna be needlessly cooped up indoors for weeks on end after having a baby - you do you.
meanwhile other women are going exercise their common sense and balance having a baby with having a life.

p.s have either of you actually ever been in a pub? I think not given the alcohol soaked, debauched, cold, unsafe, germ ridden hovels that you seem to envision them to be!

I think it’s clear from this thread that lots of mumsnetters ‘lives’ are sitting in a quiet house jumping with fright when the phone rings, logging with the police when someone knocks at the door and spending their days whispering to their delicate dc to avoid any extra cortisol releases 😂

pubs are clearly scary, Wild West style saloons where newborn babies will be grabbed from new mothers and people drink neat vodka at midday , waiting to attack passers by

Yes, that's what it was like for most of us. I still went out to lunch with my baby and husband when she was 5 days old. I remained in awe of and in love with her. Treasured memories.