One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

Well your lucky ti be able to do that
A single parent for example would still need to food shop ,care for older children etc.

I was doing a food shop the day after having my 3rd, with my 4yr old & 2yr old in tow. I wish I was somewhere as exciting as the pub! Admittedly I proceeded to lock us out the house. That was my sign that physically I felt fit enough but my brain had other ideas!

Most pregnant women have vaccines above that lot.

Is it more likely to catch there than at a supermarket or school

I think that's just you rather than any advice given. I was at my older child's toddler group with new baby at a few days old. Met friends for lunch on day 2 and was at the supermarket on the way home as hadn't had time to get a big shop in.
Don't really see the problem to be honest. It is really only on mumsnet that people seem to hide away for weeks after a baby. Never experienced that in real world, everyone I know just got in with life.

I took my kids to all sorts of things when my second and third babies were 2 days old. I even drove myself to and from the hospital with the third!

She'll be fine. You can be sore from an episiotomy and do stuff at the same time.

Good for her.
Hopefully a happy start to a happy life.

Have you had an episiotomy? Your body is sliced - though all the tissue where you sit. There are stiches - that need care and attention if you move or pee it is painful.

I've had an episiotomy and a natural birth (where I tore). The first was agony - the second was manageable pain. It takes minimum of 2 weeks to recover from an episiotomy - not one day! I myself took months to feel 'normal' down there (I had an surgeon who felt it best to make it 'tighter' after birth.. but that is men for you!)

I wasn't in agony i was 'normal' as in the way i was before pregnancy a few hours after I gave birth, I only say this as a fact not all women are the same but I am sick of women doing all the thinking for other women and not allowing women to use their own minds

I'm impressed she can sit in a pub a day after an episiotomy. I couldn't sit up properly for weeks!
I think it's fine if she's feeling up to it. Especially being so young, her mental health and social life are so important.
My 3rd was being sneezed on at big sibs nursery stay and play at a few days old. I'm sure a pub full of grown ups is safer than that.

I was in so much pain and so fed up of looking at the same 4 walls because of my SPD that as soon as my daughter was born I was itching to go out and be somewhere other than on my bed. And a pub lunch after not having space to eat a big meal would have been amazing!

my son came to my mums graduation at 6 days old.

I am jealous, happy for the mother and baby and I deeply regret not giving birth at 17 (honestly). May the mum and the child be healthy and happy!

I popped to Tesco on the way home from giving birth to my second to grab a quick food shop. She was about 5 hours old. I felt fine and baby was fine. Honestly, if she feels up to it then keep your nose out. The idea of not going out for a week is old fashioned and pretty much forgotten.

Oh come on im happy the mum and baby are healthy and out and about
But realistically 17 is a far from ideal age to have a bsby

@ERthree”It isn’t all about the Mother” Well, assuming the baby is warm, clean, fed and comfortable, yes it is!

My eldest is 33 and she was born whilst I was living abroad. You were not 'allowed' to take the baby out until they were 40 days old and you'd been to church! My mil used to stand guard at the front door! My parents visited when dd1 was about 30 days out and we went for a walk. Exdh went ballistic because I'd taken her out. Mil insisted on me going to the local orthodox church (I'm c of e) where the priest said some words, asked me to kiss various icons, I refused and then I was free.

I had my first at 18. I worked right up until the Thursday at 11pm. Went into be induced on the Friday morning, had her Friday afternoon and was out Saturday morning. I went back to work on the Monday as I could take her with me ( family business) and went right back to normal shifts running a busy hotel. With my 4th I was 26 and needed a husband to help me to the toilet for 4 days and wait on me as I felt like I was going to die. All 4 were very typical vaginal births with no stitches or complications. It’s crazy, 17-20 you aren’t really emotionally mature enough to understand the commitment you are making simply due to lack of life experience, but your body recovers SO quickly. When you ARE emotionally mature and have some life experience to raise a baby, you give birth and then your body feels like it’s been in a tumble dryer with rocks. Is like Mother Nature has it wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

My cousin had this in Greece. MIL chased visitors out the door. I enjoyed my own self imposed cuarentena (from cuarenta 40) and kept people away myself. I did go for walks after a couple of weeks by myself or with husband. Bliss.

I had to stay in hospital for a couple of days, but somehow I just about managed to walk to our local! Midwife unexpectedly turned up just as we got back and she basically, said I don't blame you, it's good to get out.

Had to say though, it was a lovely hot day (so she obvously wasn't cold) and the afternoon, so quiet in the pub. DD seemed happy. Our wedding anniversary was a couple of weeks later and we had a lunchtime meal out, again no problem.

My third baby was born at 6am.

The same day (about 9 hours after he was born) he was on the school run and we all went to the park and a cafe on the way home. All the other school families were keen to see him.

If your relative felt fine to be out then that’s totally up to her. It’s only a problem if she was forced there against her will.

That's an odd take.

For all you know she could live a hundred yards from the boozer and rather meet there as their home is too small to host visiting family members comfortably. There are a thousand legitimate reasons to meet visitors in public, rather than at home.

The Mum was eating a meal, FFS!

The judgement and wild assumptions are a lot!

It’s fine. I took my DC to a pub to meet friends on day 3, we were out for a couple of hours, she slept on me entire time, I had a tiny house so made it far easier to do that rather than host endless visitors. She would have just slept on me wherever we were. Pub was far comfier than a coffee shop

My sister had a baby a couple of weeks ago and I think she feels obligated to be ‘normal’.

Her relationship is still quite new and she is very set on not wanting to appear like she’s sat at home not doing anything.
So she’s wearing make up, nice clothes, styling her hair and constantly going out places.

If this is what she wants to do then I’d admire her but I know it’s not, she’s just putting on an act because she thinks that resting at home and not looking ‘perfect’ is going to make her DP not want her or like she can’t cope.

If your family member wants to do this, then more power to her.
But if she’s doing it for other peoples benefit then I feel sorry for her.

I was shopping with my newborn the morning after I had my 2nd DC. Not sure I'd go to a pub, but I guess the bonus is you could let friends & family meet DC all in one go, then get a few days peace with no visitors.

After having my 1st DC all I wanted was to get home & sleep, I'd been awake over 2 days, drawn out birth, non stop being sick for a day & an epidural that sent me a loopy.

So no drugs 2nd time round, in & out of hospital in hours, hence being great the next morning to shop.

We all react differently, each to their own.

I stopped off at Sainsburys on the way home from hospital the day DD2 was born and out doing some shopping the next day. She was with me both times.
I'm sure if she hadn't felt able to go out then she wouldn't have and pubs are all non smoking so baby wouldn't have come to any harm

I think I agree with parts of this after seeing the look on my DD’s face as she was pulled out during my CS. I was really happy for a slow pace and peace and quiet at home for about a week but I had a traumatic birth experience. My daughter slept and slept and slept in her cot thankfully. We made it out on day 7 I think, just for a stroll through a quiet park on a beautiful day. I was bleeding heavily and leaking through all the breast pads too, not to mention I had a cluster feeder for HOURS on end, so I’m amazed and impressed when mums get out much earlier. I suspect I’ll have to get out earlier this time as I have a toddler too.

I wouldn’t judge the new mum here but it’s not something I’d want to do - but then I’m not a fan of going to pubs really. I’d just order a Deliveroo if I wanted something cooked for me.