One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

Well if it was last orders on championship night and rival fans were about to start glassing other then I might give a wee heads up to the health visitor to offer some extra support, but otherwise she's fine.

That’s the point though. They chop and change baby advice every couple of years. Exactly what they advise you not to do becomes the thing they say you must do a few years later, and vice versa.

You always see young mums on here who think their MILs are insane, evil harridans for suggesting a way of doing something (ie. the way they were told to do it years ago). In 30 years time they’ll be the MIL insisting that baby is never allowed to grizzle or be left alone for a minute, and their DILs will think they’re outdated and idiotic because by then they’ll have been given opposite advice.

But when you’re an inexperienced young Mum, those guidelines are gospel and they stay with you for life. I can understand why some pps are horrified at the prospect of a one day old in a pub when they were taught to limit contact with anyone outside close family for a few days to give baby’s immune system a chance to build up, and reduce the risk of infection. But I can also understand those who weren’t told this to think it’s perfectly okay.

I personally wouldn’t, but what anyone else does with their own children is none of my, or your business. If someone is not doing anything that is going to harm their child, then don’t concern yourself with it.

I'm as old as your mum it seems.
I didn't see many people in hospital- a couple of midwives, my DH and my Mum. In a ward of 4 for 5 days .No orderlies, no porters, no doctors. That was the norm then.

She’s young so her body will recover quicker than an older mum. Plus ime younger mums just get on with things and don’t over think.

she was in a pub during the day for a meal. Not that much different from a cafe or restaurant.

We had family around at one day old and had a takeaway. I was starving! Can’t see much difference in what’s your family member has done only that I wax 20 odd years older and people can be super critical of young mums, well all mums really but the young ones do seem to be particularly targeted.

She's probably still on a high. My pal had her baby at home then a couple of hours later they were all out on the school run. We went to sainsburys for a massive biscuit haul on the way home from the hospital. It was totally fine, only issue was me being utterly horrified that everyone else's lives were going on as normal when I HAD JUST HAD A BABY!

I was on a huge adrenaline high for about 48 hours after I had my first - I would have loved the opportunity to show her off like this. By the time I was on my fourth, we literally stopped off at school to pick up the other kids on the way home from the hospital!

New mums do need to be a bit careful about unexpected heavy bleeding, even if they're feeling quite well otherwise, but sitting having your dinner in the pub instead of your own house? Not a high risk activity.

Baby advice doesn’t change that much or that often if you’re talking about proper professional advice. The only really significant huge change I can remember is “back to sleep”. People often talk about “chopping and changing” because they want to ignore advice. Weaning is a good example-I have my red book to prove it was 4-6 months but as close to 6 as possible nearly 30 years ago!

Not really any of your business, is it?

Ds went to do the Christmas shop at 2 days old in a huge Sainsbury's.

Wow, it's amazing what babies can do these days !

I think it’s more the type of person really. I was 39 when I had my first and had a great recovery, I went to the pub on day 3. Our first NCT meet up was within most people’s first two weeks of giving birth and we met in a pub (age ranges 38-45)!

I just liked getting out of the house, going for a walk, getting some fresh air, having a meal we didn’t have to shop for or cook, and just generally getting on with things.

my oldest went in the pub at 6 days and that was when smoking WAS allowed. I went back to work when they were 2 weeks old. There was no advice on what to do that I knew about, I saw a midwife for about 20 minutes at the birth and didn’t see another one until over a week later.

my younger on the school run twice at under 24 hours, me walking, baby in carrier. I only got “told off” once when I was at a shopping centre around an hour from home for a bit of a day out and some lunch when the baby was 6 days. But I wanted to make the most of the time off, back to work at 5 weeks.

if I was supposed to sit indoors for weeks because of the baby’s immune system maybe I shouldn’t have had daily medical appointments starting at 1 day postpartum that required me to either walk a four mile round trip or get on the bus with the baby. I did both depending on the weather. And when I’d managed to get out to the daily appointments me and the baby were sitting in a waiting room full of sick people!

Probably better than having all your family friends coming to your house and making mess and demanding cups of tea, etc. Hopefully it means she can see a lot of people in a short amount and then have a nice relaxing time at home. And she can get a meal that she didn’t have to cook or mess up her kitchen.

I was told by my GP to wean my first at 6 weeks! (He was massive and unsettled). Then it was 3-6 months for #2, then 6 months+ for the youngest. When I had my 2nd we were told to avoid peanuts during pregnancy and until baby was 1 year to avoid risk of peanut allergy. I followed this advice and DS developed a peanut allergy. Now they reckon that avoiding peanuts causes peanut allergy. I was advised to use controlled crying with DS 1. These days you’re barely allowed to put them down while you get a quick shower. Years ago women were advised to stay in bed for days, now we’re told to move to avoid blood clots.

I’ve had 3 - absolutely fine to be out and about when you feel well. Day after having D1 we went to pub across the road and sat far away in quiet corner. DC2 was in her baby sling everywhere with me as she was 18 months after DC1. DC3 had her first 3 mile walk in the sling the day after she was born… by week 6 she’d been in her first UK holiday and even sat in a tent with me at the beach! She’s 13 months and about to go on her second holiday abroad this week. As long as the mum is well and sensible about it - it’s all fine!

When my daughter was 4 days old we spent the Saturday and then the Sunday in the pub. I felt fine, the weather was lovely and it was nice to be out and about. I drove myself (and baby!) home from hospital after giving birth less than 12 hours before and could easily have gone to the pub for food that day.

I was in hospital for a week after I had my first baby via emergency c section, after leaving hospital we went straight to Tesco with our baby. I could hardly walk, but needed baby milk as I wasn’t producing milk. I needed to be out - anywhere after being stuck in hospital for over a week!

I don’t live in the uk so no I didn’t realise? In Ireland people still smoke in smoking areas outdoors in pubs. Where most people sit when the weather is sunny and it is sunny here at the moment. Thanks for your extremely useful comment.

Not my mum's experience, though in fairness she did have complex births so may have had more need for doctors than you. But there were a lot of visitors also!

Also it must surely have been cleaned at some point in the 5 days? If not, that's a bit worrying. It's been a while since I worked in a pub but ours certainly got cleaned more often than that!

I don’t mean potential noise. I mean just by being children. Pubs which let children in usually have a crap atmosphere.

Adults stimming has nothing to do with it. Stim away, as long as you are over 18.

The pub is fine, it's no more "germy" than anywhere else. Babies don't dissolve at a bit of noise either or nobody would ever have younger siblings.

With both kids I was in hospital for 2/3 days so no chance of me going anywhere with them but they are also full of germs and noise. By week 2 with #1 I went for a walk to the pub and had a small wine. With #2 I was at a baby group on day 5 because we wanted the crazy toddler to have something fun to do and I was climbing the walls and needed to get out.

On both occasions nobody but me touched them, they obviously couldn't touch anything, I wasn't wiping them all over the toilet floors, they spent most of the time asleep in the pram.

I did struggle physically afterwards on both occasions because I had had c sections and the extertion made me sore but it was great to be out in the world again.

Oh you are so judging her.

Dont try and fluff around it, even in your first post ", but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore."

Your faux concern for her health is laughable

A poor baby has just left the warm safe cocoon of it's mothers womb which is a bit dramatic for the poor wee soul and it taken to the pub/cafe/shop ! No chance for the baby to become used to it's new way of life. No quiet just noise. Makes you wonder how this lack of peace affects the rest of it's childhood.
But then it is all about the Mother after all.

I can tell you that all 4 of my kids, who have been out in the real world within 24 hours of birth are all absolutely fine.

What about parents with multiple children who might have to do school runs? Or just have the general noise at home form other children? Have you been on a maternity ward - they're not exactly quiet and relaxing places!