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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to complain about staff at my local Costa?

115 replies

Breathedeeper · 09/04/2025 19:31

There is a woman who works at my local Costa who is surly and abrasive in her manner. I’ve been in a few times and she’s always the same - can’t be bothered, non-communicative and surly. While normally I tend to go to independent coffee shops, I sometimes go to this Costa because of where it’s located. Today I went in and this lady was just so blunt that I remembered her name because I’m considering giving some feedback about her via email to Costa. AIBU? I would have asked to speak to her manager but I think she is the manager, which makes her disregard for good customer service even worse! I’m aware this is definitely a First World problem, but what’s to be done? I don’t think Costa would be happy with how this woman conducts herself, and if no one ever says anything then she’ll just continue on as she is. Maybe she’s just being rude to me, I don’t know…no one else there at that time seemed too bothered about her, but perhaps we were all thinking the same thing but nobody wanted to say anything. I think she could tell she’d pissed me off because by the time she came to give me my drink she was suddenly trying to be polite. So she can do it, but chooses not to unless she thinks someone is going to complain. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Wishyouwerehere50 · 09/04/2025 19:38

I would first go in when quiet and no other people around if possible and ask her;

' are you ok? Every time I come in here you look really pissed'

See what she says. It's a low paid shit job most likely. It's not ok if she's rude but you don't know the full extent of what's going on for her right now.

sanityisamyth · 09/04/2025 19:39

Wishyouwerehere50 · 09/04/2025 19:38

I would first go in when quiet and no other people around if possible and ask her;

' are you ok? Every time I come in here you look really pissed'

See what she says. It's a low paid shit job most likely. It's not ok if she's rude but you don't know the full extent of what's going on for her right now.

Pissed, or pissed off?! Very different scenarios …

Wishyouwerehere50 · 09/04/2025 19:40

sanityisamyth · 09/04/2025 19:39

Pissed, or pissed off?! Very different scenarios …

Pissed off 😄

murasaki · 09/04/2025 19:42

Is she actively rude, or does she just not put on a fake smile?

Poppyseeds79 · 09/04/2025 19:44

Maybe she's having a bad day?

In my local Costa I frequent often, they cracked a few jokes about my order (frappe in winter - no coffee). I just gave them a Paddington Bear stare. They just say 'usual'? now, and don't engage in chit chat... Everyone's happy 😁

MissJeanBrodiesmother · 09/04/2025 19:45

Unless she is actively rude I think you should leave it alone. You have no idea what is going on in her life. What difference does it nake to you really? You buy your coffee there. That's it.

11thofNever · 09/04/2025 19:46

murasaki · 09/04/2025 19:42

Is she actively rude, or does she just not put on a fake smile?

Great question.

stayathomer · 09/04/2025 19:48

Is she bad enough that you’d want her put on warning, or fired? Because that could happen, so maybe you get someone smilier, but she could lose her job.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/04/2025 19:51

Does she serve you competently and efficiently?
Because if she does, complaining and potentially getting her in trouble or fired because she’s not smiley enough for you is a dick move.

Lmnop22 · 09/04/2025 19:52

You never know what someone else is going through, perhaps she’s giving what she can. I would be kind and not look for a manager - you got your drink so just leave it alone!

PassingStranger · 09/04/2025 19:53

This annoys me. It's so much easier to be nice.
Yes complain, next time she does it tell her to her face.

It's about time people were taken on for their personality's as well, not just whether they can do the job or not.
It's an all rounder you want.

XenoBitch · 09/04/2025 19:55

My local Costa has a manager like this too. Not smiley at all, and rather blunt. My DP spends a lot of time there when WFH and has got to know her well. She is autistic.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/04/2025 19:56

Manner is extremely subjective.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/04/2025 19:56

PassingStranger · 09/04/2025 19:53

This annoys me. It's so much easier to be nice.
Yes complain, next time she does it tell her to her face.

It's about time people were taken on for their personality's as well, not just whether they can do the job or not.
It's an all rounder you want.

If it’s so much easier to be nice why are you advocating doing something the opposite of nice?
Surely it’s easier to be kind and tolerant?

Uppitymuppity · 09/04/2025 19:58

I really hate bad and rude customer service but I couldn't be bothered to do anything about it on this instance, just get your coffee and go on your way.

PassingStranger · 09/04/2025 20:00

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/04/2025 19:56

If it’s so much easier to be nice why are you advocating doing something the opposite of nice?
Surely it’s easier to be kind and tolerant?

You shouldn't have to put up with shitty behaviour. If you can't be nice don't work with members of the public simple.

Why dosent she want to be know as the assistant who works in Costa that a lovely friendly person.
Customers are also.paying her wages.

soupyspoon · 09/04/2025 20:00

Im always torn about situations like this because I dont think people need to be smiley all the time, its not natural and she may just have a neutral face.
I wouldnt cope with all the american type of service, have a nice day, how are you today. I dont want to engage with someone on the till at asda about my day (this is where they ask how are you today)

On the other hand I remember a tripadvisor response to a reviewer saying a tea room member of staff was grumpy and the response from the owner saying that 'up north' we value the great northern curmudgeon and see the value in brusqueness. I quite liked the recognition and acknowledgement that all types of personality should be valued.

On the other hand I feel a bit put out if people are too brusque because I think they're being unpleasant but then thats just their way perhaps.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 09/04/2025 20:01

PassingStranger · 09/04/2025 20:00

You shouldn't have to put up with shitty behaviour. If you can't be nice don't work with members of the public simple.

Why dosent she want to be know as the assistant who works in Costa that a lovely friendly person.
Customers are also.paying her wages.

I bet you're an absolute nightmare of a customer.

GeorgianaM · 09/04/2025 20:03

'Cheer up, love. It might never happen!'

'Who pissed on your chips?'

'It wouldn't hurt to smile, or are you worried your face might crack?'

'What's up with you again, Face-ache?'

'Are you ok, you look like you're chewing a wasp?'

'I hate coming in here, you've always got a face like a slapped arse!'

Any of those should get her engaging with you. 😎

Mydahliasareshit · 09/04/2025 20:05

This woman may be barely holding body and soul together after all manner of challenges.

If she is not interfering with your drink, insulting or belittling you, bad mouthing you to staff or other customers, then please take your beverage, mind your business and be on your way.

murasaki · 09/04/2025 20:05

I suspect she's just not acknowledging the OP as the special regular customer she feels she is.

Longleggedlinda · 09/04/2025 20:07

Either do or don’t but please decide this trivial dilemma for yourself

Phase2 · 09/04/2025 20:08

Does it impact on your day in any meaningful way? No? Move on then. Yes? Stop going. Do not complain about your subjective experience of someone’s service.

Caerulea · 09/04/2025 20:13

Did she do something wrong? Like, actually wrong? Screw up an allergen order? Swear at you? Stir your coffee with her finger? Shit in your handbag?

Or are you just annoyed she didn't treat you with the respect you think you deserve for buying a £3 coffee whilst she gets minimum wage & spoken to like a skivvy all day?

jen337 · 09/04/2025 20:38

Fucking hell just go somewhere else for coffee it’s not that hard. Don’t be a snitch.