Who does all the life admin in your house?

[StrawberryCo]

(When you have children?) Do you share it equally? If one partner works full time and the other is part time does the part timer do it all? SAHMS - Do you do all of the life admin while your partner works?

My set up - I’m currently a SAHM and I do all the life admin. When I was in part time work I also was responsible for everything.

Life admin includes-

All homework

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family

Hospital appointments/dentist/therapy etc

All reading and studying

Booking and purchasing all household items

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆

All meal planning/shopping and cooking

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out

After school activities

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆

SN kids so lots of additional appointments to juggle too. Phew! 😮‍💨

I have ADHD so this organisation lark does not come naturally to me!

Ditto! When I was a sham I did 100% and now I probably do about 98% even though I am now back to work (10 years out of work as sahm). I don't mind it tbh! Busy, but my DH work is intense and he's the breadwinner, for which I'm extremely grateful!

Pretty evenly split between us.

He does all household bills, utilities, insurance etc and car stuff.

I do everything to do with kids...so dealing with school, college, medical appointments etc

I do all food shopping and cooking. Nearly all housework.

If we needed work done in house, he would organise.

Suits me.

Life admin is just part of being an adult - it’s not complicated and is the responsibility of both parents. Why would one do it all? Is the other lazy or incompetent?

Some of the stuff on your list is parenting. I judge fathers who don’t do aspects of parenting.

Both work FT (though I was PT when kids were younger) and I do about 80-90% of it. DH does some cleaning and some cooking and sometimes DIY stuff

I do maybe 98% of it but there are reasons for that. I am disabled and need a lot of rest but I can still book appointments or do an online shop from bed on my phone. My husband does what we call "the heavy lifting" so he does the physical labour in a lot of cleaning, cooking and sometimes I essentially boss him around (kindly!) while he does things like bring me washing to fold or paperwork I need to sort. It's a balance that we find works for us but I think if we were both able bodied we'd probably feel differently. We see it as playing to our strengths because of our circumstances though.

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories

I don't consider this to be life admin. Just ordinary day to day parenting

Dh sorts and pays all the household bills and car stuff.

I do all the kids stuff, school related admin, playdates, parties, doctors, dentists etc.

We both do the food shop. Dh usually does the top up shop during the week.

It works well for us.

I’m a SAHM to school aged DC and I do most of what’s on the list but I don’t view brushing teeth and bedtime type things as “life admin”, not now and not when my DC were tiny.

Me as a single parent. I do all of it. Additional needs kids too. And work FT. I am broken on my knees however and wonder about continuing life as we all know it !

Me except the cars. But I am a control freak so would be a wreck if DH suddenly wanted to seize control.

DH does a lot of the heavy lifting: driving kids to places, DIY, garden maintenance, decluttering, that sort of thing, which is his comfort zone like admin is mine!

We’ve just sort of found our zone I suppose and are both generally satisfied with it, as it plays to each of our strengths. I’m a planner and organiser, he’s a doer.

Actual parenting stuff is split pretty evenly. He does more bedtimes probably as I have a lot of stuff on in evenings.

I work three days and he works five, but I have quite a few voluntary commitments so am usually out of the house more.

All me. I was a solicitor. Now I’m at home. DH is a tenant farmer. We have four young children.

he brings logs. I do the rest

I'm a sahm at the moment but even when I do go back I'd imagine our set up wouldn't change. I do all the admin stuff and DH does the physical stuff. It works for us and I can't see it changing 😊

Bills were paid by DD wherever possible. Otherwise I managed to get OH to write down all the bills etc and mark when they were paid and I'd check. Normally I dealt with finances. Due to work he was the primary carer for the children so most if their care was down to him. We had a family diary which recorded everything that needed to be done, we'd check it before I went away for work to make sure we each knew what was expected.

I'm a sahm and do all of that except booking holidays. Dh does that although we both research and find the hotel/ place to go.
We each sort out own cars out he does the insurance though.
I also attend most of the school stuff, take the dogs to multiple vet appointments, give them their medication and reorder their food and meds.

We both work full time

My DH does a bit more than me, because he works from home

I cook, because I prefer to choose what we eat

Both work full time. I’m the main earner and the primary parent. I do all of the things on your list and all the cleaning/cooking. DH does occasional drop off but that’s it.

We always split it fairly evenly, though DH does do slightly more. He's slightly more efficient than me!

I stay in Scotland and I have never heard anyone in real life call it life admin. Or make a big deal of this like on mumsnet. People In the past just got on with it. No fuss.

I’m a SAHM.

I deal with:
all school admin including monitoring homework and the likes of world book day,
all the child admin (play dates, presents, birthday parties, after school clubs, sports, clothes, shoes, toys, kit),
health admin for the kids,
holiday and day out planning and booking and
all the day to day household stuff (cleaning, laundry, appliance repairs, grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking, car appointments).

DH does
bins,
garden stuff
and the actual taking of the car to appointments (I make the appointments, remember when the mot due etc).
He also does all the earning and most of the banking, utilities and financial admin.

We each do our own personal admin like our own medical stuff and tasks relating to our own extended families.

During the week I probably do more bedtimes and supervising tooth brushing and bath enforcement than DH does, but that goes with his job. If he’s at home at bedtime or bath time he is fully involved. That’s not admin though, that’s parenting.

I’m happy with our split of tasks. I would not be happy if DH expected me to do all the bedtimes and similar though - when does your partner spend time with his kids?

DC are older now but this is how it was when they were little. I was a SAHM mum for a couple of years and then worked term time only.

All homework Both

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family Me

Hospital appointments/dentist/therapy etc Me

All reading and studying Both

Booking and purchasing all household items* Me*

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc* Mainly me*

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆
Me
All meal planning/shopping and cooking Both

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories* Husband*

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out* Mainly me*

After school activities Me, both at weekends

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆* Husband- I am not creative*

I did it all when kids were young as I was a single parent ,( even when with my DDs dad he was rarely about and we split when eldest was 5)

Now I live alone so still do it

And as someone else said only on here have I heard " life admin". And mental load for that matter. Was always just stuff that needed to be done - no biggie

Why do you need to make an Easter bonnet lol

Does he ever look after his own kids? No teeth brushing or bedtime stories?!