Who does all the life admin in your house?

[StrawberryCo]

(When you have children?) Do you share it equally? If one partner works full time and the other is part time does the part timer do it all? SAHMS - Do you do all of the life admin while your partner works?

My set up - I’m currently a SAHM and I do all the life admin. When I was in part time work I also was responsible for everything.

Life admin includes-

All homework

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family

Hospital appointments/dentist/therapy etc

All reading and studying

Booking and purchasing all household items

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆

All meal planning/shopping and cooking

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out

After school activities

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆

SN kids so lots of additional appointments to juggle too. Phew! 😮‍💨

I have ADHD so this organisation lark does not come naturally to me!

I'm currently on maternity leave with the kids, but free time is still as evenly split as it can be.

He does all maintenance related to outdoors, cars, and house repairs or improvements.

I do most of the cleaning indoors, and all the laundry. He does tidy away the kitchen at night while I get the baby to bed.

Parenting is definitely 50 / 50 and he doesn't have to be asked to row in when he's home.

I like to do the cooking, because I usually need a kid free half hour when he comes home. He offered to do it tonight, because the DC were being chill for once & not much effort to mind.

I do most of the life admin. Health insurance, life insurance, budgeting, bills, banking, doctor appointments for the kids, purchasing their clothes and packing away too small sizes, party planning, organising playdates, booking activities, planning holidays, applying for schools and childcare, ordering groceries, etc., He does appreciate I keep things running, though doesn't fully understand how much mental energy it takes. I find it a bit frustrating to have the constant mental tally in my head from it. Though I tell him in advance when I'll need an hour to get life admin done, and he will take the kids, or do other things around the house, so we still have the same amount of free time regardless.

Financially, he is currently the higher earner. I used to be, before DC stalled that progression! We pool our money as we do our time, and take the same amount of spending money each month. Everything else goes into joint current and joint savings accounts.

Overall split is only skewed at the moment because I'm breastfeeding and doing all the night wakes.

I did more when DC were at primary school, because I was there before and after school to do the DC related admin. (work from home) There's much less of that now

It's a evenish split now. Possibly DH does more

Yeah me too, and I'm sinking. But I only work part time, thank fuck. I'm autistic too (as is DS2 probably), and the endless, endless demands and messaging are sending me into something I call rolling burnout.

Probably me but 80/20%. It's very frustrating, but if I leave things they never get done. DH is very hands one on with the kids, in fact childcare is Probably 40/60 as he currently does more school pick ups and I have to 1 work weekends and he can WFH some days

Yes but I’m part time two days a week and my DH Works insanely long hours so I feel it’s fair. It the teeth brushing and bedtime stories though. I wouldn’t call that life admin and we share that but sling one kid each and rotating each night (he’s not working late)

I do the cooking and my DH does everything else.

Though my DC are older now but I did do all the kid stuff when they were small.

If it was genuinely “no biggie” then it would be something done at least 50% by men by default. Somehow it never is though, which suggests that, to men at least, it actually is a big deal.

(In my circs as a SAHM I don’t mind doing almost all of it because I’m not working. If I was working I definitely wouldn’t expect to be the only adult doing all the child admin, grocery shopping etc etc etc.)

I work full time in education. Husband is part time (evenings). I do all the family administration. We have a family calendar on the wall which I update. Each week we discuss the upcoming week and any special days e.g primary trips/ dress up etc. I do the kids homework/crafting/sort costumes etc.

He does all the practical stuff. Dropping kids off at school/nursery. Activities. Pick ups. Driving around.

I do the meal plan. He does the shop. I cook the meals.

He does the laundry day to day tidying/cleaning etc/. Takes the kids to appointments.

It's not perfect and sometimes we both forget stuff/ get something wrong. But 95% of the time it works. It didn't work at all when we were both full time. Not enough hours in the day. And I realise that we are lucky that we don't need two full time wages to exist happily.

An added bonus is that it has meant that instead of paying for childcare he's got to spend some lovely time with our youngest daughter.

He wasn't keen on this at the start, and it's taken him some time to get used to it ( he's a traditionally masculine man). But he has made the best of it. It will probably be temporary until our youngest is in school full time. But honestly, I wouldn't mind if he never went back full time. I think as a family we are happier for it.

I'm PT and DH is FT:

All homework - Shared

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family - me for me and DD, DH sorts himself out.

All reading and studying - shared

Booking and purchasing all household items - shared

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc -we do most of this ourselves, DH knows a lot of people in the trades so he tends to reach out if we need someone else.

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆 - me

All meal planning/shopping and cooking - me, although cooking is shared

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories - shared

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out - mostly me

After school activities - shared

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆 - DH did ours for today!

I think it's natural for the one who doesn't work outside the home or works less to pick up more to balance things out. If I didn't, I'd feel like I should be at work more. But everything is split pretty evenly between us when you include work etc.

However, just because one of you doesn't work, doesn't mean that they should be picking up everything.

I don’t either.

I’m a sahm and we split most of that stuff fairly evenly.

Split pretty equally between us, catering to each others' strengths. We have a family calendar app which everything goes in - therefore it's not only up to one of us to remember PE or a party or World Book Day.

We’re pretty much 50/50. Some things we split up, some things we do together and some things we each take the lead on due to different strengths/interests.

I work FT but in a more flexible job than DH; DH is PT 4 days a week (though he’s still the higher earner even PT as he’s in a higher paid industry.)

We’re basically 50/50. He does all the research for our holidays and books them and, as we don’t book package hols, there’s quite a few moving parts. He narrows it down to a few options and I make the final pick. I could not love him more for this and would happily take on more admin just to avoid this.

I think your DH has a good deal here. Sorting out bills is zero isn't it once you've set up a dd.

I'm a solo parent so have to do everything. It's relentless!

This " life admin". is done by all men that live alone

Looking after kids is parenting not life admin

And actually my dad managed to do it all while working full time and raising us kids

He’s getting away with an easy life - holiday booking happens a couple of times a year? It’s hardly an admin task.

All homework - mostly him

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family - mostly him other than anything SN related which is me

Hospital appointments/dentist/therapy etc - him

All reading and studying - him

Booking and purchasing all household items - mostly him

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc - me

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆 - him

All meal planning/shopping and cooking - mostly him. I might cook twice a week

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories - him

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out - me

After school activities - i book them, he picks up / organises kit needed

SN kids so lots of additional appointments to juggle too - also SN here and I do most of that

We both work full time but i have some health issues and am also studying for an MBA. He probably does 70-80% of it all

I do most of that and work full time . We both do bedtime and teeth etc , that's not admin anyway. We both cook but I do more. I organise after school activities but DH takes them more often, and does more school pick ups and after school care. I have a cleaner , wouldn't manage without.

We work ,I feel ,to strengths and situations .

He enjoys and has patience for ‘chasing a good deal’ so has naturally taken on all financial and associated admin .land is very good at it .

Im more -get it done -so deal with bigger purchases (holidays ,furniture etc)

He WFH full time so has the capacity to call around and sort trades/ repairs if needed .

I work out the home full time but was part time when kids were younger so always did the school /clubs /friends/parties .

He enjoys cooking as a way to relax -I see it as something that needs to be done ,so he does all shopping and cooking .

He wouldn’t know one end of a screwdriver or paintbrush to the other so I do all DIY and decorating .

Everything else is shared (apart from sweeping And hoovering -he has a blind spot there)

If 1 parent not working, I would expect him/her to do all the house admin. If someone is part-time I would expect him/her to do most. I do 95% of it an I work pt. DH works full-time. I am better at organising things.

My parents both work ft and my dad did nearv100% of house admin.

I did/do all the things on your list, plus car and house insurance quotes.

DH pays the utilities, I read the meters.
DH deals with his car.
DH deals with Council tax.
DH empties the bins.
DH deals with all French admin - he is fluent, I am not.

Honestly I do a lot more than50% even though we both work ft 🙁

Couldn’t agree more - if someone doesn’t work they should do all of it or most of it if they work PT. That said I do 90% of admin too (we both work FT)…