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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is okay for DS (8) to stop swimming lessons now?

68 replies

NameChangedSummer1 · 07/04/2025 19:33

As he can swim well, and is doing lots of other activities that we are struggling to juggle. DH and I both work full time, and he already does activities during the week, we need a couple of nights where we don't have to finish early to get to a club to keep up with work commitments.

DS still would like to go as he enjoys it but I've said we can just go swimming at the weekend as we often do (our local centres don't do lessons on a Sunday which is our free weekend day)

And on Saturday he does football (winter) and cricket (summer) which he does not want to stop. I've said if he wants to continue with his Wednesday evening swimming lessons then he needs to drop either Tuesday football training (his favourite), martial arts (Thursday), or Cricket coaching (Friday). He loves all of these.

We will still take DS2 (6) to lessons on a Saturday as he cannot yet swim competently, and he doesn't do as much other stuff as DS1.

He loves swimming but loves the other stuff more. AIBU to say the mid-week evening lessons are not sustainable?

OP posts:
Aliflowers · 07/04/2025 19:49

I was in exactly the same position this year with DD and dropped swimming. Exact same situation in that something had to give. If she kept swimming up she’d have had an activity pretty 6/7 days every week and they were all sports. She’s been swimming 4 years so is a good swimmer and aye has a compulsory year o swim lessons in school next year. I also try to bring her once or twice a month to the local pool

Sharktoothgirl · 07/04/2025 19:58

How do you define ´can swim well’. I would want my child to be able to fulfill the goals of the Australian national swimming and water safety framework before giving up.
Amongst some basic lifesaving that it’s maybe not fair to expect an 8 year old to do (pulling a dummy up from the bottom of a deep pool for example), they expect 5mins floating/treading water and 400 metres continuous swimming. Having had the misfortune of testing the effectiveness of breaststroke and freestyle in an actual rip, I would be insisting on 400 metres freestyle with decent technique.

OneWittySquid · 07/04/2025 19:58

I'm a swimming teacher what stage are they?

Lovegame · 07/04/2025 19:58

What stage has he reaching in swimming? Mine won’t be allowed to swim without an adult until they have completed stage 7.

Kumqwhat · 07/04/2025 20:00

Hmm, we have kept going with swimming precisely because life is busy - I know we wouldn’t be doing family trips to the pool regularly enough, so we are sticking with the lessons as long as possible.

KvotheTheBloodless · 07/04/2025 20:03

What stage is he at, and how often would you actually be able to take him swimming for fun, given how busy your lives are?

If he's not passed stage 7, I'd say give up anything else rather than give up swiming. He'll hopefully never need it in a life or death situation, but he might - better safe than sorry.

MarioLink · 07/04/2025 20:03

I think swimming is a very important skill. I would want to know if they were holidaying with friends abroad trying watersports and jumping off boats that they had solid swimming skills that would stand up to waves and colder water. We are very busy and if one thing needs to go it has to be something else (we are leaning towards recreational gymnastics can stop soon).

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 07/04/2025 20:04

The others are fun, swimming is a life skill.
Completely depends on his level of competence and confidence imo.

WarriorN · 07/04/2025 20:08

We stopped as ds wasn’t liking it and was wanting to focus on football but he had got to a level where he could swim lengths and in clothes. Then Covid stopped it for us. School did intensive lessons in y4 and y5 and he progressed really well from there and was in the top groups where they just swam as many lengths as they could in an hour. whilst he isn’t interested in lessons he is a great swimmer.

SoSoLong · 07/04/2025 20:13

What I did when DS stopped taking swimming lessons was to take him along to younger DD's lessons at the weekend and the two of us would swim for leisure. I appreciate this may not be possible if he plays other sports at the same time on that day.

CyberStrider · 07/04/2025 20:13

As others have said, how do you define swimming well?

I used to have to give swim tests to asses capability for taking part in water activities and an awful lot of children whose parents said they were good swimmers failed. And that was really quite a basic test - 50m of front crawl/breaststroke.

GoatCatTaco · 07/04/2025 20:14

My 15 year old still can't float.
He can, however, tread water, and swim half a km, and has better freestyle than me.
I can just about still beat him in a breaststroke race tho!

So, according to that article, he fails their standards. Fair or not?

LeedsZebra90 · 07/04/2025 20:19

I wouldn't stop at that age as they can still develop a lot from that point - there is being able to swim and being a strong swimmer and they are very different. How would you feel about his abilities to swim in the sea? Or in a Lake? Etc. That's my guideline (a personal one!)

Iloveeverycat · 07/04/2025 20:22

swimming is a life skill
If swimming is a life skill children should get free swimming lessons. I couldn't afford swimming lessons or to take my children swimming.

SnakebitesandSambucas · 07/04/2025 20:32

@Iloveeverycat most councils offer free swimming cards to under 18yr olds. Might be worth a look. Also council pools tend to be cheaper for swimming lessons

Keepitrealnomists · 07/04/2025 20:40

My DS is 8 years old and is finishing stage 5 and moving into stage 6, there is no way he would be giving up swimming for any other sport, it too important.

Keepitrealnomists · 07/04/2025 20:42

Also, as his parent you need to guide but ultimately it's your decision and not his as to which sports he does.

Dramatic · 07/04/2025 20:45

Iloveeverycat · 07/04/2025 20:22

swimming is a life skill
If swimming is a life skill children should get free swimming lessons. I couldn't afford swimming lessons or to take my children swimming.

They do at school

TheWickerHare · 07/04/2025 20:49

SnakebitesandSambucas · 07/04/2025 20:32

@Iloveeverycat most councils offer free swimming cards to under 18yr olds. Might be worth a look. Also council pools tend to be cheaper for swimming lessons

Council lessons always have extremely long waiting lists, so therefore disadvantaged children are more likely to not learn to swim

CarpetKnees · 07/04/2025 20:51

Like others, I think it depends on your definition of 'swim well'.

I do agree that you need to cut down so that you and your dh can actually get your jobs done, and I think he should have input into which it is he cuts out.

Personally, I'd be encouraging him to keep swimming up over most other things. If he's only doing one session a week, I'm going to presume he's not swimming for a club. Being a strong swimmer gives so much access to other things as a teen, from social swims with friends, to all sorts of boating activities.

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 20:52

Swimming is an important skill, I think also though its being realistic in terms of survival skills as a pool is nothing like being in danger. Swimming is freezing temperatures, being disoriented, in your clothes etc. That's not to say kids shouldn't be having lessons.

Strawberries86 · 07/04/2025 20:52

Just turned 8 year old dd is just going into stage 6. No way in hell is she stopping anytime soon. Il review on a yearly basis.

Lovegame · 07/04/2025 20:52

SnakebitesandSambucas · 07/04/2025 20:32

@Iloveeverycat most councils offer free swimming cards to under 18yr olds. Might be worth a look. Also council pools tend to be cheaper for swimming lessons

Not in our area.

Lovegame · 07/04/2025 20:53

Dramatic · 07/04/2025 20:45

They do at school

Show quote history

They still need to be paid for by parents.