To think it is okay for DS (8) to stop swimming lessons now?

[NameChangedSummer1]

As he can swim well, and is doing lots of other activities that we are struggling to juggle. DH and I both work full time, and he already does activities during the week, we need a couple of nights where we don't have to finish early to get to a club to keep up with work commitments.

DS still would like to go as he enjoys it but I've said we can just go swimming at the weekend as we often do (our local centres don't do lessons on a Sunday which is our free weekend day)

And on Saturday he does football (winter) and cricket (summer) which he does not want to stop. I've said if he wants to continue with his Wednesday evening swimming lessons then he needs to drop either Tuesday football training (his favourite), martial arts (Thursday), or Cricket coaching (Friday). He loves all of these.

We will still take DS2 (6) to lessons on a Saturday as he cannot yet swim competently, and he doesn't do as much other stuff as DS1.

He loves swimming but loves the other stuff more. AIBU to say the mid-week evening lessons are not sustainable?

Floating is an essential skill because if you're stuck, swimming might not help you, and you will wear yourself out so that's why he would fail those standards which makes perfect sense

Well, no. Food is a necessity, but that's not free!

My DS(8) has nearly finished stage 6 but hes going to keep going until he passes stage 7 at least. I'd like him to do more by his age I could already dive and swim much further than he can.

If he enjoys it I wouldn't stop. Quite a few parents at our dcs school have after school nannies to ferry them to clubs, it could be just a student a few nights a week, so you could consider that? It's hard work doing the ferrying but for us we see it as a limited period, as they will be able to travel independently by public transport at secondary age.

Thanks all. Re stage he does Better Swim School and is in the ‘Academy’ stage. He does the standard strokes well and 400m easily, though 800m is a bit much. His dive looks fine to me.

Just looked up Stage 7 and yes, he is passed that stage.

DS2 (age 6) is only around stage 3-4 though, which has made me realise DS1 was much more competent at a much younger age even though we haven’t done anything differently….

They should be free as it’s part of the curriculum.

He loves swimming in the sea (only allowed with us and when it’s calm and also between lifeguard points), I appreciate this is not the situation that people usually get into danger.

I would have said no at age 8, but now knowing if he’s that good I’d say ok yes you could stop.

He has had lots of lessons in his clothes over the past few years? I think they do that from quite an early stage as part of the lifesaving skills.

They do, it's part of the primary curriculum. However it's a very small amount to cover the basics, as like with brushing teeth and teaching about appropriate relationships, and many other things, schools can't fully take over parents responsibilities.

Yes. Fair that it's a fail because floating is a key survival skill which can save your life when you get swept out to sea and have no energy left to swim.

Not everywhere. Our council lessons are cheap and if you're not too fussy on times you can sign up straight away. Maybe a slightly longer wait if you want a specific time or teacher but even then we've never waited long. We pay just over £30 a month which covers 50 swimming lessons a year plus unlimited leisure swimming.

I'm astounded that so many people continue shelling out for swimming lessons long after the child can swim. The RNLI and others promote floating to save your life if in danger in water, NOT swimming. So the only life-skill kids need is floating. There is no plausible reason kids NEED to know how to swim butterfly, or do perfect front crawl technique etc unless they plan to swim competitively.

But the swimming lesson industry has done a brilliant job of persuading middle class parents they have to spend a fortune on swimming lessons for years and years. Taking your kids swimming and letting them enjoy the water is so much more beneficial for their confidence. My kids are all teens who swim regularly and confidently in the sea and pool having had only the bare minimum of lessons. They don't have perfect technique but it has no adverse effect on them.

£360 a year per child, for years and years doesnt sound cheap to me at all!

I’ve cut to the end from the OP- soz! 🤣 DS2, 8, was not great as a swimmer. We were going to Oz to see family so thought it’d be good if he could at least save himself in a pool. Cost us £50 per 1m, we reckoned.🤣 1:1 tutoring.

Back in Oz, I had mum-friends who’s 3 year kids could swim the length of their backyard pool. Mine absolute couldn’t have swum ours!

Anyway, all good in Oz on our holiday, but what swung it was 2 years later, getting a villa with a pool in Mallorca. Boys always supervised, of course, but that was where they nailed ‘how to swim’.

An aside, I hate how swimming immediately becomes competitive. Child likes swimming? Squad! Faster, faster, faster! No ‘Just enjoy’.

I think you're absolutely fine to stop. There's so much pressure on parents these days for kids to have all these activities. You said you're both trying to work full time, and something has to give. You've offered the option with his other activities and he can safely swim.

Oh that's great then. Why don't you have a chat to the swimming instructor and see what they say in terms of stopping the lessons, they are probably the best ones placed to give advice

Don't they do it in school any more?

I think like most things, schools can't afford the upkeep and maintenance of having a pool. If they can't afford teachers and books, swimming lessons is not going to be high on the list!

We let our child stop about then, we saw they were going through the motions of what they were told but their heart was not in it so sure we could have continued by thinking we are paying for lessons so we can tick a box so we can say to ourselves we are trying but unless you want to have lessons the student would get nothing out of them

it is not the same as putting a health hearted attempt in kicking as football around, how can it actually save them from drowning in a dangerous situation humans are not fish, yes babies and toddlers are more likely to drown in a bathtub, or getting into a pool with no adult supervision in some areas, than older children, teenagers and grown ups but as you get older you have a choice to be in water

so if we wanted to tick a box we would have continued

My son gave up regular swim lessons age 6 but then he did holiday intensive week courses - sounds like your son doesn’t need those. We also signed up for Swimathon for a few years so that he had something to work towards and he did 1k when he was 9 - so I knew he was working on his stamina. He took up water polo and diving lessons for a bit when he was a teenager. Maybe signing up for a sponsored swim if you give up lessons might help him keep building his stamina and it doesn’t mean he can never go back to swim activities.

@NameChangedSummer1
We did exactly the same when ours were younger. Unless they were the next Olympic hopeful & as long as they could swim well enough to save themselves if they were ever in danger, swimming lessons were done & they just went swimming for pleasure, as & when it fitted in with other stuff. Family life is crazy enough as it is!

Mmm yes they get swimming lessons as part of the curriculum. They're not free though, albeit heavily discounted, come to think of it I'm not sure if the payment is for the lessons or the coach 🤔.

And I'm not sure how much they actually learn but it's better than nothing I suppose.

Fair enough. £7.20 a week for a life saving skill sounds very reasonable to me. We choose to prioritise that.