To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?

[BluntLilacGuide]

Is it unreasonable to ask your partner to wash their hands before being intimate, especially if it involves touching sensitive areas? I feel like this is just basic hygiene but I’ve heard others say it kills the mood or is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on this? Is it something you bring up or do you just assume it’s handled without mentioning it?

Dh is generally hygenic so it wouldn't cross my mind at the time as I'm content subconsciously I suppose that he'd have showered that day anyway, washed his hands when needed etc. My ex was pretty gross hygiene wise though and yes, would be really grossed out if he didn't wash just before (it didn't last long funny enough).

Husband and I are hygienic people anyway so I've never really thought about it. We usually have sex of a night when we've both bathed anyway but we wouldn't shower specifically for sex unless for someone reason we were less than fresh but I wouldn't go to bed like that anyway, sex or no sex. I think if you're demanding he wash his hands before he touches you, that's a mood killer, yes.

The crustiness just adds to the flavour

If there was a medical issue like recurrent UTIs then yes.

Normally it wouldn’t occur to me… maybe I’m just a bit gross haha.

I have special tongs for DH’s knob.

I wouldn’t have sex with a stinky person, ew. A quick shower doesn’t kill the mood, not for us anyway. A sweaty body that isn’t exactly fresh… now that’s a mood killer!

I can imagine nothing worse than obsessing about hygiene in relation to sex. Spontaneity is very important to me and if the mood is right I’m not going to give a thought as to when we last bathed or what we have been doing. DH used to get quite turned on when I’d been out riding and was sweaty and smelled of horse. (No horse now). Cleanliness is a total obsession on Mumsnet.

@ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself I'm sitting in a very quiet airport lounge and I just snorted very loudly at your comment, and now everyone is looking at me.

Always shower first.

Seeing as though the extremely rare event only occurs at bedtime these days, we would have been to the loo, washed hands brushed teeth anyway, back in the day of spontaneity at any time, the sex definitely took priority

It wouldn’t cross my mind to ask.
If you get randomly caught up in the moment then I wouldn’t even be thinking about it.

But then I guess it depends how dirty your partner is and what their job is etc.

If you are worried then stick to having sex at bedtime/in the morning.
As you’d have both had a shower and brushed teeth.

It was only an issue for me if we had sex or snogged in the morning as I'd ask my partner at the time to clean teeth first (as would i). Morning breath is horrible and a real turn off.

Everything else never bothered me.

Each to their own. But a man expected us to scrub up before sex I’d find that a massive turn-off. Everyone’s different but for me, squeamishness is unsexy. I really don’t care if my partner has washed his hands or had a shower or whatever and I wouldn’t want a sexual partner who insisted that I did.

If this sort of thing is important to you, for psychological or physical reasons (I appreciate that some people are prone to UTIs etc and need to be careful for that reason) you’re entitled to ask for it, though. Nobody should be doing anything in bed that they’re not happy with, so if you’re not happy being touched by someone who hasn’t washed their hands immediately prior, that’s a boundary you can have.

Equally, your partner is entitled to find that preference to be a bit of a passion-killer.

When I was much younger, I’d been to a gig with friends and my (then) boyfriend came to pick me up afterwards. I’d essentially been dancing in a mosh pit in a boiling hot venue for two hours and I was drenched in sweat, hair wet with it, clothes damp, eye makeup running, the lot. This was also before the indoor smoking ban, so I would have smelled of cigarette smoke as well. He was massively turned on by the sweatiness and basically pounced on me the moment we got into his flat.

I couldn't be arsed with showering specifically to have sex, feels like it would kill the mood and spontaneity a bit. Don't you get sweaty when you're having sex anyway?!

If either one of us had just been handling something particularly disgusting or chopping something spicy etc I'd maybe ask to wash hands.

Most men I’ve had relationships with have actively preferred me not to shower directly before oral sex.

I mean we talking a quick bit of fun on the sofa or what. Because in bed we would of just showered but some fun on the sofa I’m not going to go upstairs to come back down for a rub and pump 🤣

Bits and bobs are always washed after a pee anyway.

Don’t have any dogs to lick hands ewww gross anyway. No smoking. Like obviously if he was covered in mud from the garden I’d me like sorry nah but he doesn’t tend to get filthy then want to jump on me 😅

That's fair enough if you're susceptible to something like thrush or a UTI

Sensitive areas? Do you mean your fanny? And bum holey?

LOL, no I wouldn’t.

🤢🤢🤢

Not just you.

Handwashing and brushing teeth is absolutely the minimum.

Nope. We just get down to it.

I don't think sex on the table is very hygienic.

Showered and teeth brushed before anything like that goes on.
Are you only interested in clean hands? What about clean everything else… shudders.

Penis beaker anyone😁