To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?

[BluntLilacGuide]

Is it unreasonable to ask your partner to wash their hands before being intimate, especially if it involves touching sensitive areas? I feel like this is just basic hygiene but I’ve heard others say it kills the mood or is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on this? Is it something you bring up or do you just assume it’s handled without mentioning it?

I remember asking a boyfriend to wash his hands prior about 30 years ago, because he had been stroking a dog/it had been licking his hands. He got in a right strop about how it killed the mood! It was gross though and I'd do it again

This wouldn’t occur to me at all. Maybe that’s why I never get ill. I really don’t care about stuff like this

Similar here, but I find with the thin latex ones there is a risk puncture or even tearing so we have a pair of these each.

I always shower before going to bed. Expect partner to do same.

Ah .. the famous MN “sex wash” - no spontaneity allowed, and definitely nothing if the sheets have just been changed (as according to MN, you should be changing them immediately afterwards as well)

I'm with you OP. I got numerous painful bladder infections during my marriage with my ex because he never washed his hands and was quite a grubby person. I don't think it's great to inflict that on a partner.

😆

Depends if he is stood there with a wrench, wearing suspenders?

seriously no cant say it crossed my mind

I hate having things like this to worry about so I just insist all ‘touching’ is done via chopsticks. You get used to it eventually.

No, but DH always has basically clean hands because he washes them after doing anything that would require it. We don’t have any pets so it would just be general indoor germs from a basically clean house.
But I’ve also never had any issues with infections or anything - if I had, I’d probably be more strict.

I would expect my very clean partner to wash her hands only if she thought they were dirty. We both prefer to shower before sex although it wouldn't stop us if we hadn't and got caught up in a moment. She often says she's dirty because she hasn't showered and yet she's never smelt or tasted dirty to me. I bath or shower every morning and again at night before bed, which is probably too often to most people but if I was single I wouldn't do the night one, so it's definitely important to me to be clean for possible sex. Hand washing wouldn't occur to me, it sounds a bit anxious. Is your partner normally a clean person who washes their hands after the toilet or eating etc?

Generally intimacy happens at bedtime so we have just washed and brushed our teeth. I wouldn't insist he gets up to wash. Tbh it would kill the mood a bit. Other scenarios are less common, but obviously would happen in a moment of spontaneity! Likewise it's highly unlikely we would break off to wash. I would caveat by saying that if either of us was a bit gruby or had bad breath we probably wouldn't get to the point of wanting sex. Likewise, things might be different if my husband had been doing something very messy...that just hasn't ever been a problem though. Are we gross sex people?

I recall a whole thread once about laying down a towel for sex as well.

OP I think everyone is different, we have showers we wash hands during the day so if there was a mid afternoon session I’d just assume we were both fairly clean anyhow.

And assuming sex is always at bed time .
lovely routine going on shower ,bed, sex, bovril then 8 hours sleep .

I think if I thought someone was so grubby they needed a wash I wouldn't be having sex with them anyway 🤔

i keep a “ Penis Beaker “ at the side of the bed 😂

Can tell most of the people on here don’t suffer with a recurrent uti 🙈

I'll only do the deed after he's showered.....I don't want another painful UTI.

Bovril?! Surely Horlicks or ovaltine is more appropriate for bed time? I dunno, bovril seem a bit lower class?

If in bed at night, we would both have likely recently washed. At all other times, it's unlikely it would occur to either of us.

It's not just about hygeine. I, personally am very susceptible to thrush. After a really bad bout I explained to my husband that I need him to wash his hands, bits and brush his teeth before all sexual activity. This lessens the bacterial transfer and reduces the likely hood of a bout of thrush.

He loves me and so he does. Doesn't ruin the moment. If anything it improves it as I know I'm unlikely to be extremely uncomfortable for a week + after each event.

He also has hobbies that involve a lot of dust/gruck/microplastics and I don't want that in my vagina. Ta.

Mood killer for sure in a spontaneous moment.

I agree I stand corrected !

If it’s your preference then that’s fine 🤷🏻‍♀️

Me too!