If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

[Thisyeargflewby]

We may have the opportunity.

We are an average family, not hugely wealthy like some of the families (not all though)

Would you, it you could? If so, why?

If you have put your child in private school, what are your reasons for doing so?

Yes we have, our extremely quiet very academically bright eldest was already reading competently before she started school and would would have disappeared in the local state primarys who made it very clear they didn't have the resources to academically stretch her on the open days we went to. She has thrived in the small class sizes, loads of sports, specialist teachers, fantastic teachers, good class behaviour, great pastoral support.

We'll do the same for our other children.

No. As I have excellent ofsted schools on my doorstep. DS left with mostly 9’s at GCSE and 3 A star at A level, now at top uni. DD is 17, got all 9’s in GCSE’s and is applying to Oxford in the Autumn. Both self driven, modest, and kind. Not sure what private school would have given them really, and certainly not for the cost of it. Ex’s brothers have both paid private and on GCSE day last year one said ‘and for free’.

Repeated post (edited)

I think we could have afforded private school had we really wanted to (with a change of career and lifestyle, different house etc), but we chose not to as we live in a grammar area and the grammars are better and closer than the local private schools.

Sorry, I misunderstood but I think you said something along the lines of if you needed to you would have (I can’t find the post I am referring fo)

Yes I think theoretically we might have done.

But in our (fairly rural) area there isn't much movement between schools, most kids go to the same primary school, then most go on to the catchment secondary school together.

The other schools in the town where DD went to school are not terrible (not outstanding either, all of them are much of a muchness getting average results really) so she'd have probably gone to one of them had she not got her catchment (which she nearly didn't because we're so far out and there were loads of siblings that year). But as I say, the priority for her was to go with her friends and to be eligible for school transport.

I don't really care whether or not people send their kids to private school but I do think they're mad if they can't really afford it and are sacrificing other stuff to pay for it. I honestly think helping your child avoid sky high private rents will help them more than larger playing fields, however I do get that some parents feel that their kids with SEN wouldn't cope with large state schools. Having said that, DD's school had a reputation for being brilliant for those children.

Two genuine questions - not to be taken as an attack, it’s genuine interest.

1. Those who say they would use private schools because of music, sport etc - why is the expectation now that school should be providing hobbies?
2. If you were financially stretching yourself for these schools and your child had no interest in these activities, would you pull them out as it’s not worth the cost?

Both state and private schools are heterogeneous. Some people have instances of private schools that they didn’t like and didn’t think were value for money. I don’t doubt it.

My own DC’s London day schools were very organised, very aspirational. The teachers often did not have teaching qualifications, but did have Oxbridge or advanced degrees in their subjects. The other children were very bright, and the parents were by and large high earning professionals. So an ethos of aspiration and graft, not inheritance.

This suited us and our children. Other families might have wanted something more nurturing or something that would prepare their DC for a different social milieu. As far as I am concerned, they should crack on as they see fit. The beauty of being able to pay, is that you have more choice to get what you believe will be best for your DC. If you are lucky enough to have a free state option which is a great fit, so much the better.

I am just sad that variety and real choice in the state sector is being eroded. I think DC get the best results when their parents are allowed to guide choices that align with their family’s values. I have very little interest in controlling the way other people’s children are raised beyond ensuring some minimum standards. Raising my own is consuming enough, and I wouldn’t presume to know enough about everyone else’s best interests to dictate to them.

But state schools should be providing music, art and sport... However, with diminished budgets and time, these are the first to be cut.

There is a reason why such a large % of top sports athletes are former private school children.

Yes, I would. I feel so sorry for the parents that were just about managing the fees and now can't because of the VAT changes.

I could never afford it. I know hand on heart I would if I could.

Since when have schools- state or private not been expected to provide these things?! Have you no experience of schools?

Not beyond the basic school sports teams and music lessons from a visiting teacher. I’d previously thought most people were happy with that and those who wanted more would tend to arrange it themselves outside of school, until I read this thread.

All the state schools near us offer music GCSE and a fair few offer GCSE PE too.

In fact, my DD's (comprehensive) school has a chamber choir, ukelele band, orchestra and scratch choir. My son goes to a grammar and they additionally have a swing band.

I really don’t understand what you mean. Music and sport are part of the national curriculum. Therefore all schools should be providing them. What do you mean regarding ‘basic sports teams’? Why would I arrange sports lessons outside of school when the school should be providing them?

I don’t think anyone is suggesting state schools are music and sport free zones.

I mean extra curricular, outside of lesson time. By basic sports teams I mean a school team for a handful of popular sports. Football, netball, maybe a couple of others. Music as a class, specific instrument lessons for those who want it from a visiting teacher who comes once a week/fortnightly. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to expect school to provide anything beyond that. My brother was talented and passionate about music, he had extra lessons and clubs outside of school which were a damn sight cheaper than sending him private, plus he then had other additional social groups to mix with outside of school. My husband was sporty, he played for local grassroots teams as well as the school team, as do my friends sporty children. I’ve just never realised people saw school as a one stop shop til I read this thread.

If the school suited my child then yes, I definitely would.

Just reading through all the comments, it’s interesting that some people put so much emphasis on exam results. I got straight As and A*s at a mediocre comp but that doesn’t mean I think state schools are automatically the right choice for every child (I absolutely hated school despite doing well academically).

We did have that opportunity but sent dd to a state school instead.

I didn't think any of the local private schools were worth it for a kid like dd who was likely to thrive anywhere. She's a young adult now and I'm very glad that we made the decision that we did.

I don't really agree with private education. However, I would have absolutely prioritised dd's needs over and above my political principles if I had felt that it was in dd's best interests. I appreciate that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, but I would have put her needs first no matter what, so I make no judgement of those who choose that option.

If dd had been academically average, lacking in confidence or short on self motivation, I might have considered the private options more carefully. I think there are some children for whom private schools can really add value. But dd wasn't one of them and I knew she would thrive wherever she went. And she did.

But that isn’t what people are saying. Nobody is expecting things above sports and music lessons and school sports teams?
Sport and music are often much better in private schools because they happen more frequently and utilise specialist teachers. That’s one of the draws of a private school but certainly not the only one. I can’t imagine many are sending their children to a private school purely because they play regular competitive sport.

It all depends on what the local state school is like. No matter what your ethics it would be immoral to send a child to our local state if you had any other option. People totally fail to comprehend how bad a so called ‘outstanding’ state can be.

No, I don't believe in selective education, my daughter went it the local comp.

No because my 3 dc each have SEN and I find their state education to be excellent.

How does that work when most private schools are highly selective and only admit the brightest and most motivated students?

Not all private schools are highly selective. But I wouldn't personally waste my money on the ones that only admit the brightest and the best.

How does that work when most private schools are highly selective and only admit the brightest and most motivated students?

That's not true for most I don't think.