If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

[Thisyeargflewby]

We may have the opportunity.

We are an average family, not hugely wealthy like some of the families (not all though)

Would you, it you could? If so, why?

If you have put your child in private school, what are your reasons for doing so?

No. We could afford to and I wouldn’t in a million years.
We wanted a richer, competitive environment for our kids, where they were among a diverse group of their peers.

No

Depending on the child i would home school by preference.

Like everything there are advantages and disadvantages for both, mine went for primary school and the foundations that were laid were very good. And it was very nurturing at that stage I think it possibly changed into senior school but all of mine passed the 11+ and went into good state secondaries.

We did. DS1 has complex disabilities and he wasn’t offered suitable state provision for several years until he was found a space at a suitable special school. In the meantime we either homeschooled (meaning I would have to give up my job) or went private. It wasn’t something we’d considered previously. DS1 had a positive experience in a private school which met his needs brilliantly (I believe many other private schools wouldn’t be able to). DS2 thrived and remains in the private system. He excels in a hobby which is generally perceived as ‘girly’, but which at his school is a major part of school life. He hopes it will become his career. For us, it was which school is most appropriate for each of our children. They just happened to be private.

We wanted a richer, competitive environment for our kids, where they were among a diverse group of their peers

Yes - this is what DCs’ private schools provide compared with the state and one of the main reasons we went for private.

I went to private school and hated every second of it. I was made to feel a failure by my parents and the school (all of whom ignored the fact that I was horrendously bullied throughout)
My DCs went to state schools, did extremely well and have great careers; private wasn’t an option but I wouldn’t have sent them if it had been.

I once worked with a man who went to State school, absolute thug
Put me right off sending mine to State.

This. And we didn't at secondary either.

No. I am philosophically opposed to being able to buy a better education and loathe the acceptance of this structure. Have plenty of friends who have used private and I can see the reason why some have ended up there for their particular child but I wouldn’t.

I can understand why you would be put off from your personal experience but surely you can see that not all private schools are like that? Just like I know not all state schools are the Wild West.

Which one?

So many on here purport to have attended a 'prestigious' school and yet would not send their own children to any private school. It's hilarious, 'prestigious' is not even a word alumni use to describe their previous schools.

I can not think of one single person from my peer group with child attending a state school, not one nor can my husband. Assume you arent a subscriber to Tatler?.

Do people really believe a parent schooled in 60 acre complexes, with climbing walls, pools with diving boards, amphitheatres, and access to well respected sports coaches opt to abandon all of that for a local comprehensive school struggling to provide access to a teaching assistant? That just doesn't happen outside of Mumsnet.

It’s so interesting to hear that so many people are complaining about the quality of their local school and unhappy with the lack of extra curricular activities and large class sizes. This is all down to funding and represents years of underfunding by the government.
Teaching is a hard job, perhaps if your local schools are below par that people considering private schools spend some time campaigning for more funding to level the playing field rather than having an ‘I’m alright’ view.
Great to hear that some people are shunning the private sector to allow their children to lead a more realistic life.
If it were up to me there would be no private schools. Those rich people who have enough money to spend on education could pay more tax and then it could be spent on making all schools better, give everyone a class of 15 and specialist extra curricular activities and then see what happens to society.

Ironically private schools are the exact opposite. Handholding and tutoring children to within an inch of their lives, everyone’s parents wealthy and from similar backgrounds, fewer students to foster any real competition - it’s easy to get in the football team when there’s only 11 girls interested in playing, it’s easy to ‘win’ trophies’ when that team only plays other private schools, it’s easy to be ‘top set’ when there IS only 2 sets ….
And that’s my view, from the standpoint of someone who’s worked in the education sector for decades. just a view, and I’m aware no private parent ( unless their child leaves private) would ever agree with that! As it’s been said before - the private sector is the Emperor’s New Clothes and once you’re in it and paying 10’000s of thousands it’s very difficult to admit that it’s not worth it.

Yes. I would always choose smaller class sizes and, therefore, the likelihood of more individual attention. Also, the sports and music resources are usually of a higher standard and better quality.

I don't live in a grammar school area, and the very large local secondary school sounds to have a dubious reputation (and a long-standing track record of not dealing well with bullying). The much smaller independent secondary school, on the other hand, is apparently one of the best in the UK, so I'd pick that one any day of the week!

100% yes. The state schools where I am are diabolical. Both of my younger two would have benefitted from smaller class sizes .

No. I am philosophically opposed to being able to buy a better education

Yes, me, too but won’t let my principles overrule something as fundamental as my children’s education.
No different in many ways to those who buy expensive property in the catchment of good schools (FGS it’s even in the estate agent’s particulars when buying/selling) or those that attend church for 2 years to gain a place at the local religious school.

Handholding and tutoring children to within an inch of their lives
I think you are confusing teaching with lack of teaching. There is no handholding. A PP was lauding how their wonderful state school provided extra lessons for students with potentials for 8/9s - is that hand holding? the students have to sit the exams. Tutoring does happen a lot in state - parents on this thread openly admit that they would supplement their child’s state school teaching with tutoring with the money saved, which is perfectly reasonable.

Sport is played for fun, team working, commitment, dedication - it’s not just for winning. Dragging yourselves out at 8am on a rainy Saturday in Winter so you don’t let your team down, pick each other up for the next game if your lose, no complacency if you win, support a teammate who has a bad game and laud one that played well. Having said that, ours does play state and private school teams.

So what if you are in the top set of two (or bottom)? I don’t think the set placement is an achievement - it’s for learning at the appropriate pace and should be fluid.

It seem to me that despite your years of experience much of what we want from education has been lost on you.

And that’s my view, from the standpoint of someone who’s worked in the education sector for decades. just a view, and I’m aware no private parent ( unless their child leaves private) would ever agree with that! As it’s been said before - the private sector is the Emperor’s New Clothes and once you’re in it and paying 10’000s of thousands it’s very difficult to admit that it’s not worth it

It seems other teachers disagree with you on that. For us, it is worth the money as we can chose the right school for our child to have an enjoyable educational experience and not be dictated by catchment. If the state could provide the same then I would be very happy to go with state.

You also seemed to have missed that our local state schools are not ethnically diverse. Maybe slightly more economically diverse but not much in it at all.

I can’t admit that I don’t think it’s worth it, simply because I don’t believe that. It’s been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. And your description of a private education are completely at odds with the one my children are receiving. It clearly makes you feel better to think otherwise though.

Yes, both my DS have moved from state primary to independent secondary.

Few reasons. Oldest has moderate SEN which was glossed over at primary, never got any additional help as he wasn’t ’the worst’ and scraped by in ‘meeting expectations’. Their age groups were high birth rate years in this area and primary added extra classes, with no additional SEN funding. This area has higher than average SEN anyway and very few children get any help. This would have followed them through the local state secondary.

Local state secondary has a progress 8 of -1.2 for boys (used to be worse when we were looking at applying). Lots of problems with behaviour, attendance, requiring improvement for 10+ years. My DS are mixed heritage from a demographic where boys do particularly badly in London schools so may have been even worse outcome for them.

Younger DS has some moderate physical disability and got mixed up with some difficult characters at primary. A few were permanently excluded towards the end of Y6 but all of them got places at local secondary anyway which would have been a nightmare for DS. He’s very sporty and never got a place in any teams at primary as there was one team for every 120 boys. He's on loads of teams at secondary as it’s a much smaller school.

Both are doing really well at their independent, they both left primary with an attitude of disliking school and doing the bare minimum. Covid lockdowns affected them both a lot as their state primary did no online learning. They’ve changed so much at secondary, youngest especially is very happy, he’d hated primary for the last 4 years. Wish I’d moved him sooner.

If there was a good local school that could have supported them both we would have opted for that. Not everyone is that lucky.

Yes, I did it. My quiet daughter absolutely thrived in small all girls classes after being completely overlooked in a mixed class of more than 30. I also quietly marvelled at the cheek of people who thought that they were entitled to tell me how wrong I was while they happily used the private healthcare that came with their jobs. I would most certainly do it again.

Also, this is a useful phrase for all the CFs, ‘We are very happy with our choices thank you’ in a no more nonsense from you tone of voice. Repeat until they go away. I am not militant in the slightest but the fact that people feel entitled to tell me how I should or should not spend my hard earned cash makes my blood boil.

Absolutely agree
For some reason making sweeping generalisations about Private schools, their pupils and parents is ok but not if we do it the other way around.

You clearly could not afford it. You have no clue about private schools. Today it is the best place for a child wanting a good education, safe environment and all the opportunities . have you read a single thread on here about the state of state schools at this moment????

Op start a thread or read the 100s on here about a teacher wanting to leave state educating and then you will have your answer.

No. Good education should be a right for all children, not just those with parents who can afford to pay.

Finland has very few private schools and an excellent standard of education for all children, irrespective of their parents' income/wealth.

Plus the famous private schools such as Eton and Harrow seem to produce self-regarding, entitled wankers with no empathy who often end up running the country.