DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

You should have a talk with your kid about this and discourage then from doing things they don't feel comfortable with just to fit in.

Very weird. And at 10 years old, the girl didn't buy your DD a present, her parents did that. I'd be giving it back to the mum and having a word.

In primary school I'd say it's not that weird. Let's talk if they're still doing it in five years time...

No, it’s very weird. And I agree with @ToffeeForEveryone that parents bought a present so it’s a good idea to return and have a word.

You didn't enable voting but yanbu, the school should be doing more. There is a cat in our local school, I mean it's insanity and definitely needs to be stopped, the world has gone mad that this is in any way tolerated. Digging holes at lunch time ffs, a tail as a birthday present, stop the planet, I want to get off

Yes it’s weird and wrong but it’s really nothing to do with you, worry about your own child.
you can encourage your dd to distance herself, not invite this child anywhere if you want but you can’t dictate how they dress and behave.

TBf I would have loved this as I pretended to be a dog lots. It was just a game. Are people implying it’s in some way sexual? I don’t understand the issue - besides your DD not wanting to play that game, which is totally fine. I’d just encourage you DD to be confident enough to say she’s not interested.

Totally inappropriate for a 10yo child.

What a horrible thing to say about a 10 year old CHILD

Absolute bloody nonsense. Dds friend should not be allowed in school because wolves don't go to school. See how long her parents tolerate that.

I’d be seriously encouraging my DC to stay as far away from this as possible.

And schools should NOT be tolerating or enabling this nonsense.

Oh another version of my next doors neighbours daughter's son identifies as a furry and meows when we see them and pees in a litter tray 🙄
Not been one for a while.

Is it about the child though? I think this speaks far more about the parents who encourage/allow it.

She is 10 and playing make-believe. When I was 10 there was a girl who used to pretend to be a horse every break time and galloped around the playground on all fours. She loved it when other girls joined in. These days is he would be labelled and her play categorised as some sort of trans identity. It wasn’t. She was just a little girl with an active imagination.

This, surely you'd treat it as peer pressure which you should be teaching your child about anyway as it's a valuable lesson?
To not feel you have to do or like something just because your friend does.

There is a huge difference between pretending to be a horse and actually believing you're a horse.

I think the big issue here is not children’s imaginative play which is totally necessary, but adults treating it as more than just children playing.

So she is not a ‘therian’ but a girl pretending to be a dog in imaginative play. And when play time is over, she needs to revert to being a human being and doing all the things humans do and none of the things dogs do.

As to what to say to your daughter, tell her it is fine to play at being a dog in play time with her friend, but she is 0% dog and 100% human and it must go no further than just being a game.

I'd tell DD that her friend was just pretending to be a wolf and that there was no more to it than that whatever name she chose to give it. And that if DD didn't want to pretend to be an animal, she should tell her friend firmly no and to respect her choice, and if her friend didn't respect her choice, she wasn't a friend.

Are her parents the kind that are encouraging such shite? God, she/ it will be so embarrassed when she's older.

If she’s using words like ‘therian’, then no, that is not all this is

Yes, it’s weird in the sense that it’s very, very unusual… any chance that she might be neuro divergent? Basing this only on the basis that my 13 year old has a friend who’s into that kind of thing and she’s autistic. I would encourage your daughter to stick up for herself and make clear it’s not for her but there’s no reason to be explicitly unkind. It’s not hurting anyone, as weird as it may be. She just can’t be putting pressure on others to do the same, it would be the same if she was trying to push football onto someone else.

It’s weird because this child is only doing this because it’s something she’s seen online. She didn’t wake up one day and think “oh I’m a wolf!”