This is completely from my own experience and observations...
We have a DC who is genuinely ND, diagnosed at age 3 from specialists. We in no way wanted him to be suffering from the conditions he has but it became clear at this age and before.
Fast forward to school, as a teacher and parent attending sessions to help st my own DC's school separately. I was actually in disbelief in all who attended the sessions were desperate to get their DC diagnosed but school and doctors doesn't agree with them and the DC didn't meet the criteria. Do you what the main reason was? Bad parenting, absolutely. The parents and children were very well looked after by the school, endless extra food parcels, support, meals delivered during the holidays and extra bags of goodies given out.
The parents I observed, sorry, just being factual here, were very overweight, many had more than 3 kids, some 7/8. The conversations I overhead/was part of ... wot u doing now? Dunno, probably netfilx...feeding their DC a boasted discounted supply of sweets and crisps and complaing they are bouncing off the walls...they drank a lot of alcohol and smoked, did drugs when pregnant, got beaten by their 5th partner to their 5th baby.
So much goes on you don't all see. These Mums were all self admittedly unable to look after themselves, let alone children. Yet they pass on their own conditions to their own DC and want diagnosis for more money. Again, yes, the conversations of oh you should this and that.
One particular memory was taking a day off work to supervise my child on a school trip out to a farm. The Mum opposite me was complaining she couldn't get an ehcp. Her DC was gorgeous, completely non ND from my contact with her, her teachers, medical analysis and social workers etc. She asked if my DC had an ehcp and I said yes, she just exploded and said why can't 'I' get one?
My response...I wish my DC didnt need an EHCP and the only reason we have one is because school staff and us knew unfortunately they had to have it to move to a specialist school. We hated having to do this but moved them and they have thrived beyond anyrhing we had hoped for.
Her response... lucky you! You can get the extra money now. Erm, what extra money, had no idea as me and DH worked full time and it's our responsibility to pay for DC, as we've been brought up to do.
So apparently there was DLA available, which we didn't ever think of applying for but we're advised to. As it became clear we couldn't use wraparound care anymore, due to DC being terrified, also a lot of intervention was needed, so I went PT to be able to take to appointments.
So in our circumstances the DLA has been so appreciated and I've never claimed any benefits before.
Such a long read, guess I've poured my heart out, so if you get to the end of this thanks and bedtime lol 😆