To never want to go on a date again!

[Smallmercies]

I was enjoying a solo lunch with my book in my local Wetherspoons (I know, but it's a nice one) when I became aware of a couple on a first date.

She spent the whole hour talking about her health problems, while he said very little. Afterwards she suggested a walk, and he asked her back to his place. She assented, "as long as you don't expect anything". I wanted to shout DON'T GO BACK TO HIS, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!

Instead I finished my boneless basket, went home to my gloriously quiet house, watched a film of my own choice and went to sleep in my lovely, comfy king size bed.

Is dating strangers really worth it??

Well if nobody dated anyone who at some point was a stranger then the world population would ground to a halt.

The boneless basket does sound preferable to that scenario, yes.

I tried a bit of online dating after I was divorced.
It was grim.
One man said that he always liked to wear a suit on a date, it makes a good impression. So I got all dressed up in my nice black dress and smart shoes and when we met up he suggested... MacDonalds. I think I just gaped at him.
Another one suggested a nice sunday pub lunch, which I was very much looking forward to, but by the time saturday night had come round this had degenerated into him "bringing lunch" and having a picnic as the weather was so nice. I stupidly agreed, being a people pleaser and the "picnic lunch" turned out to be two home made wraps in a tupperware box.
Various other disappointing encounters with complete strangers made me realise there was a good reason I had only ever dated people I knew prior to that!

Maybe the lesson is never go on a first date in a Wetherspoons.

I think your day sounds much better than that date!

I’ve given up on meeting someone decent now to be honest.

Well everyone you know started off as a stranger. I am surprised he wanted to continue the date after being talked at for an hour

On one of my worse dates, we were at a sharing table in a pub with another couple (didn’t know them, they were just using the table). She was getting really drunk and when her date went to the bar, she leaned over and said “sorry to interrupt but we can’t decide. Are you on a really bad first date or have you just been married for a long time and are bored of each other?”

She went home with her date. I did not go home with mine. My theory was if a date is good, that’s great. If not, it might as well be so bad that it becomes laughable.

I don’t think so. I finished with my last one when I realised he was a chore, and note he was really lovely, but I simply couldn’t be arsed. We were supposed to be going to the cinema and I realised I would rather put comfies on, get a large glass of wine, a huge plate of nachos, and watch a film on tv in peace and no judgement. It’s quite a freeing feeling when the penny finally drops that it’s nicer.

I am totally with everyone on the idea of dating being horrific but the thought of never having sex again does not fill me with joy

Totally and added bonus points for cuddling up with cat/dog

It’s the expectation to go from zero to bed that drives me to stay at home.

Two of my best friends are in long-term relationships with fabulous men they met through online dating, and my niece and her lovely now-husband met on Tinder. DP’s friend is married and has two kids with a man she met online. So I think it can work brilliantly if you’re good at reading people from their messages, don’t compromise on fairly small things that matter to you (I, for example, would not date someone who suggested meeting in a Wetherspoon’s) and are prepared to kiss a few frogs before you find the handsome prince.

DP and I were having a drink and some food in a pub on holiday and were seated at an outside table adjacent to a couple on a first date who were maybe 30ish, had never had any other relationships (this was discussed at length and at a volume that made it impossible to ignore) and spent a lot of the date reading bits of the Bible to each other. They drank orange squash. At one point DP went off for 20 minutes or so to buy a newspaper and some sunscreen while I stayed at our table alone with my book. Bible girl then went to get more orange squash or to the loo or something and Bible boy stared at me so intently and weirdly the entire time she was gone that I felt like slipping her a note on a napkin telling her I thought he could be a murderer.

Oooh, it does me. My sex drive disappeared a couple of years back with, what I expect was, the menopause. I'll be extremely fucked off if it comes back 😬

It's dire. I'm with you OP.

I was out last night and from a few things I witnessed, I felt just like you, happy to go home to my own quiet calm house.

I was the only single person there. We had one couple not speaking, another one in a total mood for god knows what reason, one permanently on his phone....

I just do not have the want nor the willpower...

I like to take a good look round now at restaurants.

the people having the best time are always the groups of friends, whichever sex.

sometimes it is the first date that’s going well, full of lust and hope for the future. That can be fun.

then, every time, the people having the dullest time seem to be the couple who’ve probably been together forever, staring in to space , then one of them will come up with ‘steaks nice isn’t it’ ‘yes’ silence. And that’s the aspiration.

I should note that I met DH on a dating site and we’ve been married for 10 years this year. Do what suits you but some people enjoy dating, as some don’t

Fgs. Totally missing the point of the thread 🙄 Bad dates usually involve dodgy people ( either one or both). She spent the whole date going on and on about her health. He asked her back to his probably for a shag before ghosting. They would have behaved the same had they been in the Dorchester.

She assented, "as long as you don't expect anything".

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Oh sweetheart!

I think dating is worth it for some people. But I am sure somebody cast a spell on me or something because my dating life wasn’t merely a car crash, it was a 50 car pile up.

I am good by myself now!

Ha ha ha! That was how I ended things with the last sane guy I dated. I realised meeting him for dates felt like embarking on household chores so I ended it.

My sex drive went on holiday a while ago and has yet to return😂

This is exactly where I am at the moment!🤣

I'm the one who suggests wetherspoons for a casual first date! Safe as they're big, city central and lots of people. No awkwardness of waiters etc as it has an app. Plenty of options I can eat (vegan). I despite coffee shops and cramped cafes. Maybe I've put people off! 🤣

It was a very boring conversation!!

If only sex didn't come attached to a man 😕 .

I know, right??