To never want to go on a date again!

[Smallmercies]

I was enjoying a solo lunch with my book in my local Wetherspoons (I know, but it's a nice one) when I became aware of a couple on a first date.

She spent the whole hour talking about her health problems, while he said very little. Afterwards she suggested a walk, and he asked her back to his place. She assented, "as long as you don't expect anything". I wanted to shout DON'T GO BACK TO HIS, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!

Instead I finished my boneless basket, went home to my gloriously quiet house, watched a film of my own choice and went to sleep in my lovely, comfy king size bed.

Is dating strangers really worth it??

I can weed out the idiots who only one ONS without having sex with them.

And it has the upside of me not feeling like shit when I get ghosted.

I propose I sit you down with a cup of tea/glass of wine and tell you my dating history. Reckon you'd soon change your mind 🤣🙂

Spending 1 hour listening to somebody else's private conversation is really shitty.

That's probably the issue with online dating, leading to awkwardness at the first meeting.

In the days in meeting people in person, the first evening/day you met was the first date!

I was eating my lunch at the next table!!! Hardly spying on them. She had a loud voice.

This is the new reality. Dates are like public auditions. Back in my day, you met at uni, or at work, or (maybe) in the pub or club. If you missed the uni boat, and your workplace has rules about dating, and you’re not a pubber or clubber, awkward public settings within earshot of others is today’s way. It’s hard!

I'd love to know what you and he replied to this.

@healthybychristmas I think we both looked equally horrified and said “first date!” whilst sort of shimmying a bit further away from each other…

Well, he wanted to go home and have sex. Possibly felt he was owed it after the health update. I agree with OP, a quiet day in Wetherspoons is much better.

I wouldn’t choose a coffee shop. I’d choose a nice pub or a bar, just not a Wetherspoon’s. To be fair I live in a city where there are a million other suitable options so I’m probably a bit spoilt.

DS has just gone official with a woman he met on Hinge. I can’t write the details as it’s not my story to tell but he was respectful, you could say almost old fashioned.

My friends DD has just got engaged to her hinge match up and my other friends DD has been married for about 5 years to her tinder date and has a baby. Do you think that the older people are the worse the experience overall? always outliers obviously.

I would maybe do that if I was just going for drinks. For food I'd still choose 'spoons, being vegan at least I know I am 'safe' there choice wise-I'd not like having to embarrass a date by saying 'nothing on the menu, I'll just have some chips' or similar!

I live in a village so I guess it would totally depend on where I met someone.
Having said this I can't see myself going on any date at all anytime soon, still mentally scarred by my last set of experiences with them!

I was very lucky, met DH through a shared interest and knew him a while before we started dating so he wasn’t a stranger. If gods forbid anything happens to him I have no intention of doing OLD, I will be single for ever.

I can only speak for myself and my friends all over 50 but every single person I know my age who’s tried OLD has a pretty crap experience- very few even had a decent date.

One friend had a brief - 4 month- relationship with a guy she met on Tinder but he turned out to be a twat. No one else I know has got beyond a few dates.

i mean fair play to him really, if he stuck out an hour of listening to her go on about her health problems he probably thought only way this wont be a terrible date is if he got a shag out of it, so might as well have chanced his arm.

@Smallmercies no you are not BU just don’t bother, honestly it’s so much more peaceful, clean and calm and if you do bother then a few years down the line you will regret it deeply and think ‘why did I bother ‘.

@samshah How much did Wetherspoons pay you to write that?