To never want to go on a date again!

[Smallmercies]

I was enjoying a solo lunch with my book in my local Wetherspoons (I know, but it's a nice one) when I became aware of a couple on a first date.

She spent the whole hour talking about her health problems, while he said very little. Afterwards she suggested a walk, and he asked her back to his place. She assented, "as long as you don't expect anything". I wanted to shout DON'T GO BACK TO HIS, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!

Instead I finished my boneless basket, went home to my gloriously quiet house, watched a film of my own choice and went to sleep in my lovely, comfy king size bed.

Is dating strangers really worth it??

I'm glad it worked out for you!! 🌹

It sounds it! Awkward dates are horrendous

I did wonder how they got on back at his - if they didn't have sex, did she just go on talking about her health problems? Did he show her his stamp collection?

Divorced after a 27 year marriage I gave dating a try - after around an about a million dire chats, a dozen first dates (both from OLD and met in the wild) and only 2 second dates, I realised I’d rather shove a red hot poker in my eye than ever go dating again.

Maybe he was her GP and this was the only way she could get an appointment? 😁

That's how I feel!! Married twice, adult kids, just can't be bothered with dates.

Well he was probably just hoping for a leg-over and ghost.

Yep. Some men will tolerate any old shit if they think they’re getting a shag at the end of the night

Ah, that's really sad. DH and I have been married 38 years, together 40, and we never run out of things to talk about - interesting jobs, volunteering, hobbies, the kids, the grandkids, holiday plans etc., but yeah, I've encountered the couples you notice. Life's too short for silent dinners.

If anything happens to my DP, before me, or he leaves me, there is NIL chance of me dating/sharing my home with another man.
I actually worry for the human race, now that women have woke up and realised how selfish, immature, and sometimes abusive men are. I suppose we are hormone driven though, and it often takes the menopause to allow the scales to fall from our eyes.

This is the way they do it nowadays according to a recent conversation I had with my 23-year-old niece. Work out if you're sexually compatible first, then afterwards decide if you actually get along. One good reason for being glad I'm not in my 20's/30's any more! 😂

Ouch - I misread the OP as Waterstones
Wetherspoons is a red flag at the outset.

Love the misread! 😄 To be fair, my local Spoons is quite nice, and I love a boneless basket.

Where do you live that you see so many bored/boring couples everywhere?

I had a lot of fun OLDing. I like meeting new people and once I reset my expectations and started treating the first date as though you’d just met them in a pub or something it was great. Obvs most didnt lead anywhere or we’d have fun for a few weeks before it fizzled out but what do people expect?

Get a thicker skin and keep going I say. I’ve now met someone I love and it transforms your life in so many fab ways

Eugh - gross!

That just sounds like an easy way to be ghosted after sex over and over and over again.

@Smallmercies nothing wrong with a decent Spoons

I met my husband online 14.5 years ago. There was a younger couple sat opposite us (we assumed students). They clearly guessed we were on a first date and the girl kept smiling and giving me thumbs up whenever he nipped to the loo 🤣

I sometimes wish I could tell her we made it 😍

Believe me, there’s men in their 50’s and 60’s to apply that ‘try before you buy’ tactic and won’t go past a second date without sex - tbh there’s probably women as well but I wasn’t going on dates with them.

I'm a 46 year old woman and I do that. What's the point of having loads of dates of you're not sexuallly compatible? Sex on date 1 or 2 is best. (And it weeds out the idiots who only want ONS)

I was having a solo coffee in Costa a few weeks ago and sat next to a couple on a first date.

They were fairly equally matched, appearance-wise, but he totally dominated the whole conversation. Boasting about his car, talking in a really loud voice. She kept trying to make conversation, but he just took over again every chance he got.

They walked out together after an hour or so and I didn't get any vibes that she was put off. I mean, maybe I was unreasonable and he was just nervous. But the whole time I just felt that even I, at my much older age, and far, far less attractive than her, would have been totally turned off by him.

Thank god I've not got to tolerate that again.

Which is fine if that works for you but I need more of a connection tin before I have sex

Ive never had sex after a couple of dates - I don’t get that instant attraction, itm a slow burn sort of woman, always have been. Im
mot sure I’ve even kissed anyone on a first date let alone had sex.

If someone not interested because there’s no sex for a few dates then we wouldn’t be compatible anyway.

Lesbians tend to always do sex straight away as far as my experience tells me. In fairness, there isn't risk of pregnancy, much lower risk of STIs and women don't tend to kill each other either so it makes sense.

Myself and the other single middle aged women I know, wish we were lesbians. Then we’d probably bother dating.

Yep I have had that tried on me and I always tell them we are clearly not compatible and block them.