How often is it acceptable to change furniture ? Should you keep it forever ?

[flurniture]

I’m just having this debate with my DH.

For example for children’s bedrooms, did you pick furniture that would last them until they grow up ? Or did you buy furniture when they were tiny and were thinking it would be appropriate for when they’re teens etc but maybe you changed it ?

Or when you moved house, did you need to get rid / sell or give away some furniture because it just didn’t fit in your new house properly ?

or a new sofa, just because it’s old and scraggly. How long do you keep sofas ? Or how about, after 15-20 years, you just fancied a fresher, more modern look, so you just got a new sofa or dining table or whatever it is.

my DH comes from a family where they’ve had the same items for 40 years or so. Fine. But I feel like him and his family are always pushing for us to keep stuff which doesn’t match any more in our new place/ or is just getting old etc.

I have recently bought bedroom furniture for my two year old and my DH is saying he can’t imagine my son liking it when he’s 15. It’s not offensive, it’s just white and good quality/ nice style. It’s hard for me to say whether a 15 year old will like it.

we’ve had some cheaper chest of drawers that we’ve owned and used for over 10 years but are now just falling apart and we need new ones. DH sees it as ‘ it was such a waste ‘ when actually for the price, it lasted a long time and isn’t a ‘waste’.

I get there will be a lot of furniture which can last a life time, but who had the money to afford that kind of furniture in your 20s.

anyhow, I’m just thinking it’s normal to update things sometimes or for things to not fit in your new house or for old stuff to need to be replaced. But I feel like it’s always a ‘ failure ‘ in DH eyes because of how his partners have so much old furniture and have never updated their house in any way. Their house is like a museum..

We recently bought a new leather sofa. Our last sofa was really good quality and lasted 20 years with a bit of DIY additional seat padding.
We looked into getting our old sofa reupholstered but it was a lot more expensive than a new one.
Some of my furniture is 70 years old inherited, chest of drawers and table the quality is so much better than the modern furniture it really can last for years.
Things like beds I have replaced as needed.

We’ve been married 22 years and are on our 4th set of sofas. First were a couple of second hand things we got for free that didn’t match. One was pink floral velvet and had come from a friend’s grandma. It was actually rather comfy and we were very grateful for it, but I’m not ashamed of replacing it once we’d saved up a bit. We then bought some very cheap new sofas that did last about 8 years I think, but it got to the point where they were just falling apart. We then bought what I thought were properly nice sofas from DFS in the sale on credit. They lasted about 13 years I think, which was disappointing, I didn’t expect to have to replace them so soon, but they were damaging my husband’s back in the end. Desperately hoping this 4th lot last better.

Other furniture is a mix of second hand and cheap IKEA. I can’t see us ever affording anything better so that’s what we’ll stick with. We have changed one kid’s bedroom furniture, and will change the others in a few years. But they both had cheap ikea that was also secondhand to start with, and was specifically child sized so it wasn’t expected to last. We do still have one chest of drawers that belonged to my grandma that I think is 1940s and is considerably more solid than anything else we own, even if the drawers all stick!

We have a mid Victorian chesterfield sofa which we bought for a fiver from the small ads in our local paper 40-odd years ago. We have had it reupholstered several times over the years. At the moment it is in storage pending a house move and we'll get it reupholstered again. It is built like a tank with a hardwood frame and loads of coil springs so very supportive for a bad back.

In the meantime I'm trying to "dress" this house for sale so I bought a pair of large period style good quality sofas from eBay for £50. That's inflation for you! They are in immaculate condition but my god they are uncomfortable. Can't wait to get my old sofa back in use.

The rest of the house I'm doing a quick inventory and we have:

An art deco oak table given to us by a friend who was moving.
Miscellaneous dining chairs, a set of 4 mahogany with lovely hand embroidered drop in seats and some nice rush seated elm ones, all old but cost very little.
A few Georgian oak linen presses - really useful for storage.
Mahogany chest of drawers will go on for ever.
An original brass and iron bed bought in the 1970s for a few pounds, has had new mattresses of course over the years. I wanted a new box base and thought they were a bit pricy so we reupholstered the old one with new wadding and ticking.
We bought new pine beds for the DDs in the 1980s, they are still very solid but nobody wants them so will probably go on freecycle. They had Lloyd Loom bedside cabinets which are still usable and can be painted and reused.

I read @EllieQ 's post with great sympathy because my DH is just the same. As you can see we have a lot of really old/free stuff, but the one exception is our TV cabinet which was bought in desperation in the 1990s. My DH has always disliked it, still bears a grudge against it because he thought it was a ridiculous amount of money (it was!) and still moans about it. At the time we needed it, so I insisted we bought it. This poor piece of furniture has served us well for 30 years but he doesn't see that...it's the perceived waste of money that annoys him.

All I can say is your DH will doubtless chunter whatever you decide to buy but don't pay too much attention, you also have an opinion. He's not your boss. Keep smiling and nodding, but don't let him veto your decisions!

I try not to be wasteful but sometimes some things don't work out or are meant to be temporary. When I first furnished a home, I had come from rented furnished, but I didn't have the income to furnish a house, so it was a big IKEA shop. When I grew up a bit and found my style preference I started changing things out, and i don't intend that to change. Due example, my sofas are good, they're 10 years old and the seat cushions were never that great, so we're getting the foam changed.

We bought our two sofas 25 yrs ago. They were well built classic design with loose washable covers. I recently replaced the covers and seat pads. They look brand new. The manufacturer still makes the model and can supply new loose covers, which was the main reason we bought them

Most of our furniture, when we moved in together, was 2nd or 3rd hand. We have only replaced stuff when needed and have recently emptied my late parents house which was full of quality antiques so have got rid of some of our cheap modern stuff and replaced it with antiques. Modern furniture lasts a few years at most. The old stuff is brilliant quality and so much more robust.

Older, second hand furniture is usually much more solid and far better quality than new.

I don't replace furniture unless it is broken. If I want to update a room, then changing rugs/blinds/curtains can do it. I don't do that often either.

I do find that each year the quality of new furniture drops further and further. Things I bought 20 + years ago are much sturdier. My dining table belonged to my parents and will go on forever.

I only do this much thinking if I'm buying new (this is rare) and the item is unlikely to have a second home - something like a mattress, for example.

Anything else gets bought used, usually for a very low price, and resold or rehomed when no longer needed.

But I don't change regularly, and I'm not bothered about changing colours or matching new things etc.

Furniture is mostly functional for me - I have several pieces of 'it'll do for now' furniture which was bought for a purpose and I will happily resell/give away if unsuitable or no longer needed.

I've got a range of stuff. A table that is 35 years old. My sofa is 10 years old (but does need replacing).

I don't tend to buy new. I pick bits up second hand, but only if I really like them. My bed was from Olio. It was exactly what I wanted, but was totally free! I also give away bits I no longer want or need. The only time I've actually binned something was a piece of furniture that was damaged and falling apart.

I'm not adverse to buying new, but often, I can't actually find what I want. And in that case, I'll buy second hand and revamp it into something I like.

I would never just replace stuff for the sake of it. Not due to the cost, because I can afford to replace if I want to. But for environmental reasons. Our consumerist society wastes SO much and we really shouldn't.

Just to add @flurniture your inlaws sound very free with their opinions! I assume they've had the pleasure of furnishing their own house to their own taste already, so now it is your turn.

As I said to @EllieQ , smile and nod, smile and nod!

Well just to say that both my DH and I don’t want miss matched furniture. He’s quite particular and wants nice stuff that matches.

Depends. I’ve had some IKEA crap that always looks awful after 3 years. That I get rid of (I’ve moved a lot).
I also have a lot of junk shop finds- really good 20s or mid century bits - that I keep and try not to batter too much. Some of my furniture was inherited and has sentimental value too but I would keep if it wasn’t good stuff ( Victorian oak chest of drawers for example).
Sofas are the only thing I replace. Still looking for the ultimate comfortable sofa…

But you said that he felt replacing was 'a failure'?

None of my furniture matches… but it’s similar in scale iyswim. I think that works.

Like Fraser said to Martin, it's not mismatched, it's eclectic! 😁

So true!

@TheAmusedQuailwell yeah, but that’s why he thinks we need to make loooong term decisions whenever we buy something. So it doesn’t ever need to be replaced.

Yes I know what you mean. We have the same type of wood throughout the house downstairs but it doesn’t match/ in the sense that it’s not from 1 set or one shop. But it all ties in together.

Long term decisions are all very well, but even museums change their displays from time to time!

As regards children's furniture, yes of course you change it as appropriate as they get older. Don't you?

When DD was little we had fairly cheap furniture decorated in Beatrix Potter designs.

At 6 we bought her the bunk bed she had longed for. Cabin bed at the top, desk and futon underneath. But as a teenager that no longer seemed cool so we changed again.

With our other furniture it varies. We have a solid dining table and chairs we bought more than 30 years ago and it will probably see us out. DH keeps muttering we need a new 3 piece suite but personally I can't see the urgency.

Recently though when we have needed new furniture we have been buying good quality secondhand and got some lovely stuff

@TeaAndStrumpetshaha that’s true. Also this thing about each decision being so final, means that it takes forever to make the decision. I’ve been struggling with an old chest of drawers that I literally couldn’t use, in my son’s room for a couple of years. It got so bad that I took the drawers out and just put them on the floor as it wasn’t usable. My DH was so unsure which furniture would last a life time for him that he just didn’t change it. It also helps of course that it’s not really his problem to do the laundry / use the broken chest etc / dress our son, as it’s me who does all that. So I decided to bite the bullet and just buy a set of furniture as I was so sick of drawers all over the floor!

@5foot5that’s what I thought with children’s furniture but my DH thinks it needs to be the furniture that stays in there until the end of time apparently!

I live in a very old house full of very old furniture. We upsized and have used auctions to source 'brown wood' pieces which suit the space. Every bed has a 17th century oak coffer at its foot, brilliant for storing duvets, towels etc. Mahogany chests of drawers are beautiful, functional and cheap as chips. The aesthetic probably reflects how I grew up so feels 'right' and comfortable. It's never been in style so never out of style either. We have replaced sofas and mattresses and had new curtains to fit the windows but that's the only switching up we do.

An entire thread about furniture and not one of you bastards has said “chester draws”.

Stalks off disappointedly…

Omg is that how you’re meant to say it ?? 😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️