How often is it acceptable to change furniture ? Should you keep it forever ?

[flurniture]

I’m just having this debate with my DH.

For example for children’s bedrooms, did you pick furniture that would last them until they grow up ? Or did you buy furniture when they were tiny and were thinking it would be appropriate for when they’re teens etc but maybe you changed it ?

Or when you moved house, did you need to get rid / sell or give away some furniture because it just didn’t fit in your new house properly ?

or a new sofa, just because it’s old and scraggly. How long do you keep sofas ? Or how about, after 15-20 years, you just fancied a fresher, more modern look, so you just got a new sofa or dining table or whatever it is.

my DH comes from a family where they’ve had the same items for 40 years or so. Fine. But I feel like him and his family are always pushing for us to keep stuff which doesn’t match any more in our new place/ or is just getting old etc.

I have recently bought bedroom furniture for my two year old and my DH is saying he can’t imagine my son liking it when he’s 15. It’s not offensive, it’s just white and good quality/ nice style. It’s hard for me to say whether a 15 year old will like it.

we’ve had some cheaper chest of drawers that we’ve owned and used for over 10 years but are now just falling apart and we need new ones. DH sees it as ‘ it was such a waste ‘ when actually for the price, it lasted a long time and isn’t a ‘waste’.

I get there will be a lot of furniture which can last a life time, but who had the money to afford that kind of furniture in your 20s.

anyhow, I’m just thinking it’s normal to update things sometimes or for things to not fit in your new house or for old stuff to need to be replaced. But I feel like it’s always a ‘ failure ‘ in DH eyes because of how his partners have so much old furniture and have never updated their house in any way. Their house is like a museum..

Ok.. you were kidding.. 😂

If you are fed up with the furniture you have and can afford it then change it. Having said that my old gran’s words years ago were if you keep things long enough they will come back into fashion. As I am nearly 84 and married for 60 years I must say that she was right. We used to have light coloured furniture and then it was considered wise to buy good quality dark/mahogany which it was said would never date. So here we are with good quality stuff that has lasted although sofas and chairs have been changed a few times. Now I am hearing that dark furniture is gradually making a come back!!!

@5foot5

DD’s had an IKEA Hemnes wardrobe since birth. We bought a matching tall chest of drawers at the same time and put it in the spare room with the intent of them joining one another in her room (or the spare room) when needed.

Her bed, bought at 15 months as she was flinging herself out of her cot in her sleeping bag, is a wooden truckle bed. When she was little one of use could sleep on the lower bed if needed. When she was about 10 we ditched the truckle mattress and she’s used it as a storage drawer. She’s never even mentioned wanting to change it.

Only on mumsnet 😂

Its like naice ham…

I think children like continuity because it feeds their sense of stability.

This thread really resonates with me. 12 years ago I brought an expensive sofa. It’s never been that comfortable but I like how it looks and fits in the room. I could afford a new one but I stop myself as it feels wasteful!

In 36 years, I'm on my 3rd sofa and 2nd dining table. The last sofa/suite I got rid of was perfectly serviceable but just dark and unfashionable. As I'd had it for 25 years and had a bit of cash spare, I decided to treat myself.

The white bedroom set looks great for a nursery, not so much an older boy's room unless it's a Victorian style house and that's the theme you're following.
I'd go for a plainer, darker wood that's flat (unless you have a cleaner to damp dust all the edges and grooves). The white looks quite feminine for a boy.

When DS was 3 we bought him a mid-sleeper full size bed. When he was little he used the space underneath as a den. At 10 he now uses it for his desk and chair. I like mid-sleepers as they maximise floor space. We had the wardrobes designed for each room then built in floor-ceiling, painted to match walls. If you keep the furniture neutral they can always add their own style and colour with bedding, curtains, lights, rugs. From the age of about 5 DS refused to have anything 'babyish' or 'girly' in his room, maybe because he started going on playdates and having friends over.

Mix here, we got a new dining table but had our old one for nearly 20 years and it was from Ikea so had done well. We need a new sofa but are holding off till we decide if we are moving, using blankets at the moment. I think if it is a high quality/ antique it should last, cheaper stuff I feel less bothered about changing as the need arises

We are moving house in a couple of months and I've literally this morning made a list of the furniture to keep/get rid off.

More than half of it is still fine but the rest of it is now a bit broken and really needs to go...the stuff that is broken is a mix of 10ish year old ikea and a sofa that we've had about 10 years but was 2nd hand when we got it.

I try to buy furniture that will last as long as possible but tbh our local charity shops sometimes come out more expensive than new from ikea.

I don't think it's worth keeping furniture that's making life harder for you. Me and my DH differ in that I really don't like simple tasks to be made complicated.

"You just need to jiggle that knob a bit and make sure that the drawer is perfectly aligned with this bit,"
"It's a fucking drawer. I just want to fucking open it and put socks and pants in it,"

@fromthevault

I don't think you have to keep stuff 'forever' but we should all be thinking about reducing waste, so buying stuff that will last longer and getting out of the mindset of replacing things just for the sake of fashion or 'newness'.

But that's only really relevant if your old stuff is going to the tip. I don't think we've ever tipped any of our old furniture at all. We tend to keep for 10-20 years or so and then either sell on preloved or ebay (smaller things like dining table & chairs, corner display cabinet, sideboard, bedside tables, flat pack wardrobes, fridge, washing machine, etc) or donate to our local charity shop (sofas, beds, etc). So at least someone else is getting use out of things we don't need/want anymore. When we had our kitchen replaced, we sold the old kitchen and the buyer came for half a day to dismantle it and take it away, inc all the doors, worktops, carcasses, sink, fitted appliances, etc.

We even re-used our main bathroom toilet and sink which we got the plumber to remove carefully and re-install in our business office to replace the one there which was antiquated. Only the bath and tiles were tipped.

That's re-using which is better than recycling.

Our son has just moved from one rented flat to another. He couldn't get a furnished flat last time so had to buy a load of stuff to furnish it. This time, he struggled to get an unfurnished one, so was pretty close to having to sell/donate it all, which would have been a travesty. Luckily, at the last minute, he managed to get a viewing for an unfurnished one and put in an offer straight away to try to secure it. By the skin of his teeth, he got it and got the keys just in time, so has been able to move all his furniture from one to another. This is another negative aspect of the flawed housing market at the moment - the lack of choice due to shortage of homes is causing "adverse" decisions to be made. Son didn't want an unfurnished flat last time, but had no choice as there were no furnished ones available, so he was forced into buying furniture that he wasn't interested in. The housing crisis is causing lots of "unforeseen" issues in all kinds of ways. Such as forcing people to buy furniture they don't want, forcing them to donate/sell/tip it when moving, all made worse by the lack of secure long term rentals meaning people are having to move every 12 months whether they want to or not.

Such a good point.

Thus has really resonated with me as some of the furniture we have definitely doesn’t give me pleasure when I look at it! Previously it didn’t matter so much as I didn’t mind having tatty furniture when DD was young, but now I’m looking at things and thinking that we could replace it (DD is older and we have the money), but DH doesn’t mind how it looks as long as it’s functional.

Frustratingly, this doesn’t translate into ‘I don’t care about the furniture so I have no opinion on whether to replace it, if we’ve got the money’, which I think was my dad’s view when my mum replaced anything in the house and I now see that I expected DH to be much the same. This is the first time we’ve had the cash for new furniture, so it’s never come up before!

I would always put something we’d replace on Facebook marketplace or donate it to charity, so it wouldn’t just be going to the tip unless it really was unusable.

At least your DH cares about things matching @flurniture! Though I can see that funding the perfect piece of furniture could be just as frustrating.

This is so true hahah. I am so happy I got new furniture- it makes my life easier every day, multiple times a day. Rather than having to potentially hurt my hands opening and closing drawers that just don’t work. Or needing to step over drawers on the floor and just feeling like shit because who lives like that unless they really really need to and have no choice at all to change it. I had a choice and made it and it’s really nice to open and close drawers that work properly.

that’s the thing with the John Lewis ones we had- was soon as they were a bit full, the bottom would give away, as it’s all so flimsy. The ones I have now are really sturdy.

@flurniture

that’s the thing with the John Lewis ones we had- was soon as they were a bit full, the bottom would give away, as it’s all so flimsy. The ones I have now are really sturdy.

We always put strengtheners into "flimsy" furniture, flat packs, etc. such as those little plastic blocks (either rectangular or triangular) that can be used to screw the base to the sides, and to screw the sides to the front and back pieces, etc. Makes them a lot more stable and stops the bases falling out of drawers etc. Cheap as chips from hardware stores or ebay.

Sounds glorious!

I have a mix of inherited, purchased new and purchased second hand.

When my children were small, we bought some second hand furniture, really good quality, in as new condition. Then sold it on when no longer needed. At the time we lived in an affluent area where people would buy top quality items and then get bored of them.

My furniture is mostly antique. I fully intend on keeping it all for the rest of my life!

Apart from bits from ikea, all my furniture is second hand. My bed was brand new (massive treat) but everything else has been second hand. In a different financial situation now and will slowly start replacing for things that I actually like and dare I say, match!!

I don't have very much furniture, and much of it is from when my parents downsized: the bookshelves, a cupboard that my mum bought with her first salary in the 1960s, a round dining table that my parents bought as newlyweds, and which is now worth quite a bit, its chairs, and several lamps (some antiques). I bought a few small antiques off Facebook Marketplace and similar. When I got my first house, I bought a kitchen table, a small sofa, and a bed; the bed has been replaced, the kitchen table is going strong, and the sofa is still here, because the very elderly cat wants to sit on it. It won't survive the cat for long, I think. I bought a wardrobe for my new place, because there's no built-in one, and I fully expect it to last a very long time. Although one handle keeps falling off, which I should fix.

Our sofas are a problem. They are coming up to 10 years old but the fabric cannot be cleaned according to a professional cleaner. They are light grey and so dirty. I don't want sofas which are just covered in blankets. It feels wasteful to buy new ones though.

DS (8): the only thing we bought new for his nursery was a changing mat. Cot was second hand, wardrobe and ‘changing’ table were 20 years old at that point. Table had already had two other functions.

We added or replaced stuff as his needs and interests changed. Wardrobe was replaced last year (new). We expect about 15 years from it. Toy storage: Expedit bought in 2007 was put in his room 5 years ago, we bought a new Kallax this year. Bed was a 2nd hand vehicle bed bought 6 years ago: he still likes it and doesn’t want it replacing. It’s a full-size single as we knew he’d grow quickly out of a toddler bed. Mattress was new.

Changing table became my husband’s wfh desk during Covid, is now in garage as my employer replaced all furniture 4 years ago and husband’s wfh desk is now my old office furniture I was allowed to take off their hands. My wfh desk is 18 years old and will be replaced this year with an adjustable desk. We’ll offer mine for free on the socials.

We both have expensive ergonomic chairs, bought new.

Couch was replaced last year as it fell apart after 18 years use. Replacement was bought new for a lot of money.

Remaining living room furniture was made to measure 13 years ago and is still looking fab.

A small niche in the living room is given over to a 2nd-hand children’s IKEA desk (adjustable) and a medium Billy bought in 2007. DS does his homework and similar there.

Dining set is 19 years old and was a quality piece with a massive scratch on it, so reduced by 75%. We knew further scratches would join it (they have). Original scratch is covered by a placemat.

We think about how we’re likely to use the furniture over the years and buy accordingly. DS’ needs change regularly as he grows, and he’s careless with stuff. He gets standalone pieces that can be moved around, primarily 2nd hand.

If we know something is likely to be used for a long time, we’ll spend money on it. We also consider how the materials are likely to age, and keep the piece a neutral colour.

At the same time. we’ll look second hand for quality pieces or consider if we can repurpose something from elsewhere in the house as a need arises.

Thing is stuff that lasts costs more. I would love to buy more expensive furniture that will, potentially, outlive me, but we can't even afford Ikea right now so we have a I don't know how old sofa - 30 years? - full of holes and uncomfortable to sit on.

We did get a secondhand chest of drawers as I wanted something that would last longer and not have the bottom of the drawers fall out if you dare to half fill a drawer. It had sodding woodworm in it. Which wouldn't put me off getting secondhand again, but was annoying.