A casual friend has just told me she's standing as a Reform candidate

[Mumblechum0]

And I have no clue how to respond.

I've always liked her, we're not close, ie don't do anything just the two of us, but are often in the same group at parties, book group, joint birthday bashes etc.

She's very posh, professional job, husband's a head fund manager (he walks round in a tweed cap and goes shooting on his family estate etc etc...just setting the scene, she's well educated etc.)

Anyway, she messaged me yesterday to say that she wanted me to know in advance that she's standing as a Reform candidate in our local elections; she didn't ask for my support, but didn't want me to just see her face on a leaflet through the door.

I'm married to a black man, have a mixed race son.

I haven't responded yet, as I don't know whether it's best to just ignore, or to say thanks for letting me know, or actually to say I'm quite horrified (which is my actual reaction).

Any ideas?

You don't believe that being anti-immigration is racist, and I very, very much do. We shall never agree on this and I am not going to spend any time debating it.

I would just respond “how disappointing” and try to minimise contact.

‘How disappointing’ is all I could muster up. What I’d really want to say is fuck you, your racist scum but if she is committed enough to the party to stand for them, then she’s not going to care what you think.

But what happens when you are sharing social space with her whilst she is spouting off about her politics? Or trying to defend them - will you be able to handle that?

what an awful woman. I’m sorry.

I would reply someone the lines of “ Thanks for letting me know. You do know my DH and DS are not white, this is going to be quite awkward ,I imagine that’s why you flagged it up .”.

Just ignore it.

It's not like you're close mates

Maybe just a 'thanks for letting me know' response will do. She'll be expecting it.

You're not close friends so just avoid her moving forwards. Maybe change your social media profile to one which supports a multicultural britain, she'll get the message, the bellend

I was waiting for someone to say this. So predictable.

I’ve got friends who support all different parties. It’s not my business. So I don’t see it as any sort of problem. 🤷‍♀️

Very narrow minded to think that all are.

Great answer and I’ve used similar myself.

I'm not saying that they are either racist or lacking intelligence critical thinking , but they definitely don't see parallels or have pattern recognition the same way I do. The ven diagrams show a lot of things too.

All of that is fine, but you're talking about being lovely to people who want to vote to remove, or remove the rights of a lot of people I love. People who look at Nigel Farage and think, I'll have some of whatever the fuck he's offering, yes I've heard he's a disruptive stooge of Putin - let's face it he's not really hiding it - and that works for me!
I personally cannot be neutral about people who are so deluded as to think that doesn't matter.

The more our current leaders ignore the electorate, the voting public will look towards those that will listen. Like all parties, there are parts of Reform I disagree with. But nobody should be ashamed to say look after ourselves first. The entire Country is in a financial and infrastructure mess at present, and I don't think Starmer or the labour party have the guts to make the required decisions to get us out of it.

You could say something like, "wow, I didn't have you down as a Reform candidate! Good luck, I guess!"

That way your disdain and shock are quite clear while also showing support for the process.

I'd write back thanks for letting me know and leave it their. To be fair none of the the political parties are great we've all just found out how ableist Labour is, so I wouldn't ruin a friendship over it just don't ever discuss politics which I would actually say that advice to anyone.

Absolutely.

@Mumblechum0 , what on earth has this poor woman done to make you think she means any harm to your husband or son? You could try talking to her about her decision, ask her outright how she feels about people who aren’t white. I can pretty much guarantee that you will find she’s not in the least bit racist. Not a single person I know who voted Reform are. It’s just a stick used to beat Reform voters and to put people off from listening to their arguments. Of course there will be racists among Reform voters just like there are among all other political parties but it does not follow that everyone who votes Reform is.
Just chat to her, I’m confident she’d be happy to have the chat with you, ask all the questions you need to and then make your mind up how you feel about her. To judge her without being in possession of all the facts is not a very grown up or educated response.

I think I would just respond to say not to canvass as your house as she won't be getting your vote
I don't think I could stay friends with someone who supported Reform

I might neutrally acknowledge the information but I'd be consciously distancing myself.

just because you stand for reform does not make you a racist
you think all those privileged white Etonian conservatives don’t have racial bias ?

It is possible to like people and be friends with those whom we disagree on things. I have a friend who is a raving TRA. I also have a few racist pals and my DH is quite right wing. My kids are not white and I’m a TERF. Just don’t promise her your vote.

I think lots of privileged white Etonian conservatives absolutely do have racial biases, but that doesn't lead me to believe that Reform are any less racist. Why would it?

Reform is a fundamentally racist party. The presence of racists in other parties doesn't make Reform any less racist.

What i said was materially true.

Reform have proven time and time again they attract the little Englander type who are obsessed with immigrants and Muslim.gangs etc etc. Racists will flock to Reform.

We’ve stop socialising with two sets of people due to their political persuasions. They were both Brexiteers but we kind of agreed to differ on that but when they stated praising the “virtues” of firstly that first class liar Johnson, then Farage, we decided we didn’t want to spend our leisure time with them. It’s perfectly acceptable to make that decision if you want to.

@LaurieFairyCake , Reform have thrown out the racists they’ve uncovered. Doesn’t that suggest that the Party isn’t racist?