A casual friend has just told me she's standing as a Reform candidate

[Mumblechum0]

And I have no clue how to respond.

I've always liked her, we're not close, ie don't do anything just the two of us, but are often in the same group at parties, book group, joint birthday bashes etc.

She's very posh, professional job, husband's a head fund manager (he walks round in a tweed cap and goes shooting on his family estate etc etc...just setting the scene, she's well educated etc.)

Anyway, she messaged me yesterday to say that she wanted me to know in advance that she's standing as a Reform candidate in our local elections; she didn't ask for my support, but didn't want me to just see her face on a leaflet through the door.

I'm married to a black man, have a mixed race son.

I haven't responded yet, as I don't know whether it's best to just ignore, or to say thanks for letting me know, or actually to say I'm quite horrified (which is my actual reaction).

Any ideas?

Honestly? In real life I'd thumbs up it and move on. She's not someone you see 1:1.

In my head, I'm composing an answer along the lines of 'thanks for letting me know. Obviously I won't be voting for you as I find your party's policies to be racist/not thought through/batshit crazy (delete as appropriate) but always great to see more women participating in politics.'

I would respond with “thanks for letting me know” because I love when people show me who they are without much effort on my side. Then I would socialise even less with her but I wouldn’t block.
A person in my wider circle was their candidate on local election. I put them on the list “not a friend” mentally and that’s it. I was always civil and polite when saw them, the same as to others, but our conversations were never political, think a parent at the school gate.

This. I too believe 'not all reform voters are racist but all racists vote reform' but we're not talking about who someone votes for here, which is entirely up to them. We're talking about standing for a party and attracting votes on the basis of racist policies which candidates must agree with and support in office. Fuck that.

I wouldn’t respond at all. It’ll make no difference and at the rate they lose candidates maybe she won’t last long. Keep your distance if you see her, she’ll get the message.

I guess that's the thing. I don't believe that anyone who is a decent human being would vote for Reform. So if someone told me that they were standing as a Reform candidate, I would understand that their values were much too far removed from mine for us to ever be friends.

Aren't you the problem with extremists though? People are "all bad or all good"?

Understanding that nice people can be vegans or meat eaters, Palestinian or Israeli, black or white is the key.
Humour and a bit of treating people as you would like go along way.

I would ignore the message (or thumbs-up respond if you must), but avoid her in future.

I would not give a hoot
I have friends are are very left wing which is something I am most certainly not
Some who are more centre
and some who are more right
I have mates who are atheist
Sikh
Jewish
Buddhist
What is more important to me is that we support each other and trust each other and are close
If you only have friends in your own narrow mindset be that left right or anything else its very narrow minded and inward looking
of course anyone who does that will say that their friend is narrow minded an not see the contradiction

It's not extreme.

I'm not saying she's entirely bad or good, I'm saying that I wouldn't speak to, or socialise with, someone who's politics were actively against my personal situation, let alone someone who was standing for the party.

I would expect to be treated as such as well.

Yes, nice people can be vegans or meat eaters, Palestinian or Israeli, black or white.

But as far as I'm concerned, nice people don't support far right parties.

We can agree to differ on this one.

Urgh, I don't know. I can't be doing with humourless political purists. But I certainly think a lot less of someone I used to like in the school gate days now that I know she's a bit of a Reform, pro Trump, pro Putin nutjob, full of conspiracy theories and the like.

Bullshit. That would mean there were no racists at all voting Labour or Conservative which there so clearly are.
Probably a lot fewer now they have Reform to switch to but many people are tribal voters who never change.

Reform are owned by Nigel Farage who has dodged every single opportunity he has been given (which is hundreds more than most) to simply say that the Russian invasion of Ukraine was illegal and that Russia must withdraw and cannot be allowed to profit from it's aggression.

The only conclusion anyone (including AI if that is the new divine utterance) can draw is that Farage and Reform are backed by Putin.

At that point I don't give two shits about their policies (such as they are). I don't like political parties that are backed by foreign dictators of any stripe. Call me a stick in the mud if you like.

I'm sorry if that offends any fascists out there.

Yeah right 😂

I'm sure it's true that not all Reform parties are actively racist. But in supporting Reform, they are at the very least demonstrating a willingness to tolerate racism. And as far as I'm concerned, that makes them part of the problem.

Take the opportunity to talk to someone with opposing views. Say Really? I’d like to explain why my husband and I can’t support you in that, if you’re interested in hearing.
Then invite her round and lobby her!

I disagree, it’s not about narrow minded mindset it’s about trust and values. I wouldn’t trust a reform activist as we would have very different values.
But of course it depends whom you count as a friend if it’s someone you go to the same yoga group with once a week and go for a coffee after - it’s fine. If it’s about real close friendship - values do matter.

Wow. A lot of posters dgaf about people's politics. I really care about people's politics. I absolutely 100% do judge people by some of their politics - not all, because no party is perfect.
I wouldn't socialise with her again. I'd avoid her at parties.
You can say not all Reform voters are racist, but all that means is not all Reform voters are clued up enough to realise that they are racist. If you vote for a racist party, I don't know what other conclusion there is.

To be honest I don’t understand why she would text you (unless it’s a generic one to all her contacts) - the act of sending an individual heads up gives more of a red flag than standing for the party, as it’s almost like she is aware she needs to warn you.

this would be a major red flag to me.

I wouldn’t have judged her on standing for the party but I definitely would for the message.

just to add context - I don’t follow the party or know hardly anything about them- they don’t interest me so don’t have major views either way.

I see reform voters and Trump voters as exactly the same - you can't be on the side of good if you are voting to remove the rights of others. I couldn't be arsed with them no matter how much they deny the more problematic policies.

They're all the same isn't true at all.

I don’t think that Reform are racist - being anti high levels of immigration is not in itself racist. There may be a higher than average number of rackets among its supporters - I don’t know - but it’s not a clear cut statement that she’s racist against black people.

i don’t support their policies for what it’s worth. But I very much support their right to campaign pokitixally

Genuine question - as am happy to be proved wrong - what of their policies are racist?

What about a text saying ‘Oh no, I think your phones been hacked!. Someone’s going around using your details to say they’ll be standing for election with Farage and his racist incompetent gobshites. I’m so sorry- I know you’d be mortified to have your good name associated with that.’

I think I’d respond with something along the lines of “Christ, why?”

The problem with shunning someone because of their politics is where do you stop? Do I shun all Green and Lib Dem people because in Scotland they voted against raped women having the right to ask for a female medical examiner, or Tories for their two child benefit cap unless you can prove extra child a product of rape or Labour Glasgow Council for denying women equal pay to men? If you look closely enough there is really nobody pure enough to votefor