Stock markets, inheritance, i don't understand

[Vlinty]

My mother died in 2024 and father this March. Years before they had made me power of attorney (because my husband works in finance he is a lawyer, so could help me. I am clueless and they knew this.)

After mum died, my DH took over, because my dad had dementia.

He changed a lot of their funds over to higher risk , their financial advisor told me they had always wanted low risk.

We sold the house and dh got me to invest with another fund manager. Take the money out of ns&I as well.

So some money with new advisor, some with old advisor but all higher risk than my parents had it

Now this morning he has told me that everything is down 25%.... obviously because the markets have plummeted following trump's tariffs.

I am so distraught, I have 2 siblings who will want their share of the money. I'm really angry with dh and he now won't talk to mr because I'm panicking and he won't help me - just says I won't listen. When it is him who will not answer a straight question.

Please help me calm down.

low risk doesn’t mean no risk and almost everything has gone down unfortunately, even my physical collection of gold and silver that I was convinced would be safe.

Try not to panic, stocks and shares should always be viewed as a long term investment.

I’m with your DH on this one I’m afraid. just sit tight. Panicking won’t help. It should go back up eventually once things calm down.

Agreed. It might help if you get a better understanding of it all so you’re not having to rely on DH to explain. Everything is down now but that’s the nature of markets, it will eventually go back up. It’s only if you needed to pull out all the cash now that would be unfortunate but leave it where it is and it will recover.

In a similar position, probate only came through on Wednesday and lost a fair amount too 😒

If you don't need the money immediately, then you could hang tight and see if the market recovers....

Actually I’m not with the dh at all. The OP’s father is elderly. He is absolutely NOT a suitable client to have everything in high risk. The older you get, the less risk your funds should be.

Right now though, you are where you are. And you will have to ride this out, and, bluntly, hope his assets don’t need to be cashed in soon.

But take this as a sign NOT to trust your dh. You need to either get to grips with his financial affairs yourself, or pay someone. Your dh doesn’t have a clue. And young hold PoA not your dh. This would make me reconsider my marriage if I’m honest.

The shares will recover. But I think you have heavily misused your power of attorney here. You are supposed to manage your parents estate in the way that they would be happy with but lacked capacity to do.

If I found out my sibling had gone against known wishes of my parents in order to invest funds in their preferred way I’d be livid. Whether you understand the ins and outs of finances is irrelevant- you knew this was something you’d parents would have been deeply against.

Why don't you ask your DH to explain things in simple terms?

You haven't lost anything until you come to cash in.

When he says 25% down what does he mean? Down on last week or down on what he invested?

You either trust him and learn or you don't trust him and need to learn yourself so you can take advice .

Stop panicking and ask some questions and listen.

And actually, any fool knew the markets were going to crash. Even my 20-something ds cashed out his stocks and shares ISA before Trump tariffed everyone.

I think OPs father has passed away.

As their attorney, you're supposed to act in their best interests. And follow any specific instructions they provided in the POA document. Did they specify their attitude to risk of their investments in their paperwork? Did they leave any specific instructions or preferences? If not and you did the best you could at the time you made the decisions, that's absolutely correct.

Low risk investments, are low return investments, their money could have been loosing value due to inflation where it previously was. Higher risk investments are generally always worth it when the money can be left long term (over 10 years) It could be argued that leaving the money where it was, when you had access to good financial knowledge (your DH) would be negligent on your behalf.

Don't panic. Leave the money where it is. Everyone has lost in the short term, but historically the stock market recovers.

If you don’t understand you need to learn it instead of relying on someone else. You have been really stupid here. It’s not good for anyone, especially women, to witter ‘oh I’m clueless’ (tinkly laugh) and not do anything about it. That’s how women get taken advantage of and end up in very vulnerable financial positions. It’s infuriating seeing women do this over and over again.

I assume you discussed this with your siblings before just gambling with their inheritance? As others have said it would have been likely ok if you were thinking long term but you must have known that your siblings will want their inheritance as soon as the will is sorted .

I agree about misusing your power of attorney.

im confused though. If your dad has only just died then how have you sold the house already?

Like others have said, sit tight.
I have a family member who panicked when the markets crashed at the start of COVID and sold everything as it hit bottom, losing tens of thousands. If she’d held on, she’d have made it all back again. She even had a stockbroker, but wouldn’t listen to him. Absolute idiocy!

If your DH was doing this on your and your siblings behalf he should have sat down and discussed your risk appetite before making decisions about investments.

But as other have said, if you can afford to, sit tight and wait this out. I have a stocks and shares ISA invested in medium to high risk but this is long term savings so I am not looking right now. Money I need in the short term (ie home improvements, holidays etc..) is in a cash ISA for that reason.

Everything has gone down. Don't panic. Unless you need to liquidise the assets right now, there's no real effect, everything will be back up again in a decade. Sit tight.

My fathwr sadly died in March so I will be applying for probate soon

The mother has died, the father has dementia and OP is supposedly looking after his finances.

No decade

?

Actually you’re right - missed that. In which case I’d be absolutely furious with your dh. And if I were your sibling, with you as well.

You don’t need a decade. This crash is similar to the covid one which took about 3 years to recover.

There is no time. The father has now passed away and they need to sort probate and then pay out the inheritance to siblings. They can't wait.

Eek, it was not up to your DH to gamble with yours and your siblings inheritance. Before it has been divided between the siblings it doesn’t belong to you. You will both need to sit down with your siblings and explain what you have done. The value of the stocks and shares would have gone down with the low risk option too but you will need to try and calculate the difference I guess and perhaps look at compensate your siblings using your share. That seems to be the only fair option. That, and telling your DH he’s a pompous dick. If he works in finance he should know not to gamble with money he doesn’t have.

You don't need to liquidate stocks and shares to split the inheritance, you can transfer ownership. They will come back up in value as long as you and your siblings sit tight for a bit.