I met my partner in 2022, we started off as long distance then broke up because of the distance ( she doesn't drive ), her jealousy, insecurities, some background stuff that I found out she'd lied about.
When we broke up she was vile to me, called me all the names under the sun, sent me pics of her and some bloke she met in a pub saying she was on a date with someone who knew how to treat a woman. I had to block her eventually.
A few months later she got in touch through a mutual as she heard that one of my close family members had cancer.
Long story short we got back together and 3 months later she relocated to my city. Not living with me.
Things were fine mostly except she'd give me the silent treatment if something pissed her off. She was insanely jealous of my past and anyone I had any contact with.
Over Christmas and new year I had to rearrange some plans because of my adult dd visiting from overseas.
On the day before nye I had to go to hers later than we'd planned ( I still wrnt with the plan to stay overnight ) and when I got there she was really drunk and started verbally assaulting me saying she hated me, calling me over and over a c*nt. I tried to leave and she wouldn't let me leave and she carried on.
She threw some small items at me and was screaming in my face.
Eventually I managed to get put and she attacked my car so I couldn't drive off, banging on the windows and screaming abuse and kicking it.
After I managed to drive away she called me threatening to cut herself then again saying she'd cut herself and if she bled to death it would be my fault, that she was going to call my dd ( 16, autistic ) saying when I'd made her do.
Next thing dd calls me in a panic saying where are you cos X has said I need to call you. This is midnight. I said I'm fine I'm coming home.
I got home and the dc were up scared about what had happened, my phone rang and it was x sating I'm bleeding and she'd sent me photos of her arms that she'd cut ( lightly, she was not bleeding ) and a picture of her arm with a knife lying beside it with no marks on.
I broke up with her and dc said she's never welcome here again.
Again I had to block because of her behaviour.
Fast forward another couple of months and we'd started talking. She agreed to therapy, she agreed to counselling, aline and together, she got a job, a new flat and pulled herself together. This was the beginning of 2024.
Mid way through the year my eldest dd got engaged and it suddenly dawned on me that I'll never be able to bring my partner to my dc weddings, I wasn't able to bring her to my grandsons christening, to a big family gathering that I organised so I broke it off with her and told her why.
During that time we'd been to counselling and on the first visit she lied to the counsellor about a really significant thing.
After a few months after us talking and me thinking about things I decided to make a go of it with her. My dc will all be off living their own lives and then what?
Currently we are in a relationship. We don't live together and won't be doing in the next couple of years as my daughter and her family are moving back from overseas and are staying with me whilst they look for and move into their own place.
I can't bring my partner round to my house because my dc don't want anything to do with her and this is their safe space and I always told then I would respect that. I can and do go to her place in the same small city.
I just think about it all the time. People say the dc will come around but what if they don't? I'm a huge family person, it's all I ever wanted. But I want my partner with me.
We'd?